Page 30 of Deceit & Desire

I don’t think there’s anything anyone could say to me that will ever convince me that it’s not my fault Missy is dead. I know better.

Zoe reached out, cupping my cheeks with her palms and forcing me to look at her. “If Missy said she was using you, too, there must have been a reason for it. She was apparently keeping secrets from everyone, including me, and she was using your fake dating arrangement to cover them up.”

My heart skipped several beats, and I sucked in a gasp as it kicked back in, beating double-time. “What secrets?”

Zoe offered me a palms-up gesture. “I don’t know, but whatever they were, I’d bet you every penny I have to my name that those secrets are what got her killed.”

Chapter11

Best Believe You’ll Regret It

PLAYLIST: “HOME” BY DAUGHTRY

ZOE

Roman pushedup off the floor and extended a hand to help me to my feet. “Maybe Missy did have secrets, and maybe they are what got her killed, but I’m still sorry for my role in destroying your friendship.”

“I played just as big a part in that disaster as you did, and as much as it pains me to speak an ugly truth about my dead best friend, Missy played just as big a part in wrecking our friendship as either you or I did, Rome. If you really heard our second fight the day she died, you heard the things we said to each other. It would have taken a miracle for us to come back from what we said to each other that day.”

“I know,” Roman huffed out a humorless laugh. “I didn’t know either one of you had such a capacity for vicious, bitterly cruel honesty until I overheard that conversation… and tried to comfort you afterward.”

I winced and paced away from him, needing to put some space between us. “All those things I said to you that day… I didn’t really mean them, and I’m sorry. I was hurt and angry, and pushing you away seemed easier than hashing things out.”

“I guess my idiot plan to make you jealous worked after all, huh?” Roman’s wry, self-deprecating chuckle pulled a laugh out of me, too.

“God… we were all such stupid fucking selfish kids.” A lump formed in my throat and I struggled, trying so hard to swallow it and failing entirely. “It still doesn’t feel real that she’s dead, you know?”

“I know, baby. Nothing has felt real since that summer.”

I scrubbed my hands over my face, but let them drop back to my sides, hanging heavy with exhaustion. “It feels even more surreal now, knowing that there may have been foul play, and my father pressured Mo Sheridan to cover it up because he knew we’d be the top two murder suspects, and he was trying his best to protect us.”

“I know.” Roman’s expression sobered, his dark eyes turning distant and guarded as they trailed down to the engagement ring on my finger. “Where does this leave us, Zo?”

I reached out and took Roman’s hand, lacing our fingers together. “I made you a promise. I’m going to stay and help you save my family’s ranch from David Michaelson, not to mention trying to save both our asses from this witch hunt Michael Carter and Deputy Barton have set Sheriff Spencer on. I was serious, Rome. I’m here to stay this time. I’m committed to Twisted Creek, and I’m committed to you.”

“For your father’s sake. You’ve made that abundantly clear.” Roman clenched his jaw and looked away, trying to hide the tightness around his eyes as they took on a haunted, faraway expression.

I stepped around in front of Roman, gripping both of his forearms and gently tugging him over to sit on the couch with me. “Hey, no. Look at me. Please?”

Roman stubbornly kept his face turned away from me until I reached out and gently gripped his chin, turning him to face me.

Roman tugged his chin out of my grip and shook his head. “In the elevator at the hospital, you said you’d do anything, including marrying me for real, if that’s what it takes to put your father’s mind at ease and safeguard Twisted Creek. I remember every detail. You also said he can never know the truth. You’ve made it perfectly clear that this is just business for you?—”

“Rome, stop.” I kissed him to stop him from throwing my own horrible words back in my face. “You told me the truth about visiting Miami every six months. Now it’s my turn.”

Roman cocked his head, going eerily still as he gave me his full attention. When he spoke, his voice was so soft I almost didn’t hear it. “The truth about what, Zo?”

“Two things, actually.” I held up my fingers and ticked them off. “First of all, this is not just business for me, no matter what I said in the elevator, or the day Missy died, for that matter. Second, I see what a decent, hardworking, passionate man you are and I’m genuinely sorry for every time I’ve ever made you feel less than worthy of the kind of love you deserve. Me pushing you away has never been about you… not really.”

Roman snorted and shook his head. “It felt a whole hell of a lot like it was about me when you said it was fine to fuck the help, but that didn’t mean you had to be a sucker and marry them. It felt even more like a personal attack that was definitely about me when you told me you didn’t need or want comfort from some worthless, dumb as dirt nobody cowboy who was going nowhere and doing nothing with his life?—”

“I’m so sorry, Roman.” I bit my lip and hung my head, ashamed of myself for saying such horrible things to him. Reaching out, I gripped his hand and twined our fingers together, giving his hand a pleading squeeze. “I said horrible things to you that day, and I didn’t really mean any of them. I was hurt and betrayed and angry and doing everything in my power to push you away because I did have feelings for you, even then, and they scared me half to death. I figured it was better to end things then and there and lose you on my own terms than ever risk loving you and losing you the way I lost my mom.”

Roman’s grip on my hand tightened, and he went so still that I wasn’t even sure he was breathing. His gaze bored into me. “And what about now?”

I reached up with my free hand, cupping his cheek and savoring the scrape of his beard against my palm. “Isn’t it obvious?”

“Even if it was obvious, I would still need to hear you say it, Zo. Give me that, at the very least… please. Haven’t I waited long enough?”

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