Page 36 of Deceit & Desire

After Sarah’s departure, Roman stood motionless, staring at the closed door, clearly reeling from this fresh betrayal, still gripping my hand so hard it hurt. I chewed on my bottom lip and glanced at him cautiously, unsure of how to offer comfort without overwhelming him. I gently squeezed his fingers in return.

“Roman, I’m so sorry,” I whispered, my voice thick with empathy. “I know this has to be incredibly difficult for you.”

Roman turned to face me, his eyes filled with a mix of pain and disbelief. “How could she do this to me, Zoe? Today? After everything she put me through when I was a kid, dumping me for twenty-eight solid years, how could she come back and try to manipulate me like that?”

I took a deep breath, knowing that my words needed to be chosen carefully. “People are complex, Roman. They make mistakes, and sometimes they’re driven by forces we can’t understand. It doesn’t excuse her actions—and it doesn’t mean she’s welcome back here, which she isn’t if she doesn’t find a way to get sober and not without your say-so—but it might help explain them.”

Roman nodded slowly, absorbing my words. “I just... I hoped for a second that she had changed, you know? I thought she was trying to make amends. But instead, she was just using me to get what she wanted.”

I squeezed his hand, offering a silent show of support. “You’re allowed to feel hurt and angry, Roman. It’s okay to acknowledge those emotions. But please remember that I’m here for you, and I’m not going anywhere.”

Roman looked deep into my eyes, searching for reassurance. He took a deep, shuddering breath and wrapped his arms around me, hauling me against his chest. “Thank you, Zoe. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

As we stood there, embracing each other, I made a silent vow to continue supporting Roman through his pain, to give him the space he needed to process his emotions while also offering a steady presence of love and understanding.

After all, we were married, now, and that’s what a good wife would do for her husband, right?

Roman tugged me over to the couch and sat down, tugging me down onto his lap, wrapping his arms around me and cradling me against his chest. I stared out the front window at the fading light of sunset, and the dust billowing behind Sarah’s sedan as it retreated up the gravel driveway. Roman stared, too, and his hands trembled slightly as he hugged me a little tighter against him.

“Zoe, there’s something I need to tell you about Sarah... about my childhood.”

I rested my hand over his heart, my touch warm and reassuring. “I’m here, Roman. Take your time.”

“I was six years old. the first time she called the bunkhouse and promised to come back,” Roman began, his voice barely above a whisper. “She missed my birthday that year, but swore she’d make it up to me, that she’d be home for Christmas...”

I stroked Roman’s chest as he paused, waiting for him to continue. I wasn’t going to press him for information, just be here for him for as long as he needed me. “That Christmas, I waited up for her at the bunkhouse all night with a homemade welcome home sign pressed up against the bunkhouse window, but she never showed.”

Hot tears pricked at my eyes and I tried to blink them back. My grip on Roman’s hand tightened, my eyes glistening. “I’m so sorry, baby.”

“Every Christmas, every school play, every time I thought maybe this time would be different...” Roman’s voice cracked. “But she never came. Not once.”

I threw my arms around his neck, holding him tight, communicating without words just how much I cared.

“I learned to stop hoping, to stop believing her promises. But part of me never stopped wanting her to prove me wrong.”

“I know, baby. I’m so sorry.” I pressed a kiss against his cheek.

“And now, after all these years, she comes back... not because she cares, but because someone paid her to do it.” Roman’s shoulders slumped. “I feel like that abandoned little boy again, Zoe. Waiting for a shitty mother who never shows up.”

I showered little kisses all over Roman’s face, then hugged him tighter. “You’re not alone anymore, Roman. I’m here, and I’m not going anywhere. Not ever.”

Roman leaned into my embrace, allowing himself to be vulnerable with me.

“Thank you,” he whispered, his voice thick with emotion. “For being the one person who’s never let me down.”

I shook my head. “I’ve let you down more times than I can count, Rome.”

“You’ve never let me down, Zo, not when it really mattered.” Roman pulled me tighter against him, silent tears sliding down his face.

I shifted so I was straddling him on the couch and took his face in my hands, pulling his lips down to meet mine in a slow, tender kiss. Tears trickled over my fingers, and I wasn’t sure if they were mine or Roman’s.

I wrapped my arms around him and held him tighter, trying to fuse our souls together with the force of my embrace, trying to prove to him that he wasn’t alone and never would be again.

“I will always have your back, every day of my life, from now on.” I murmured the words against his lips with a sigh. “That’s my vow to you, Roman York, and you’d best believe I mean it from the bottom of my heart.”

Roman looked into my eyes, his own filled with a storm of emotion, and kissed me, his touch a mixture of desperation and gratitude. He held me close, as if clinging to the only certainty he had left.

Chapter14

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