Page 156 of Dirty Grovel

Her words may as well be obsidian blades.

Each one draws blood.

Half-hoping and half-terrified, I wait for Oleg to defend me. I wait for his temper to explode on his mother’s cruelty so that she slinks back to her home and leaves us in peace.

But no explosion seems to be forthcoming. Oleg just sits there at the counter. Slumped. Broken.

“God,” he murmurs at last. “I’m so goddamn tired.”

A startled little gasp wrenches out of me. For a moment, I’m scared I’ve outed myself. Oksana’s gaze veers scarily close to the pantry.

But then her hawkish eyes turn back to Oleg.

Who continues to sit there, head lowered towards his tumbler of vodka as though he’s praying.

His silence confirms a fear that’s been building inside me for days now.

I’vedone this to him.

I’vemade his life infinitely harder.

I’mthe poison that will rob him of everything he’s worked to build over the years.

Despite all my fears and reservations about Oleg and his world, despite my insecurities and worries, I do love him.

I love him more than I ever thought I could love a man.

Which means I have to protect him.

Even if that means protecting him from myself.

Faye pulls up outside the house fifteen minutes after I sent her my carefully worded text.

I make sure to throw my duffel into the trunk of the SUV before she’s gotten out of it. But her forehead is pinched at the bridge, her eyes scanning my face as though she’s searching for clues.

“Is everything alright, Sutton? You said you’d explain when I got here.”

“And I will… I just need some air first. Can we take a ride?”

Faye’s eyebrows rise, her gaze flickering past me towards the house. “Where’s Oleg?”

“Inside, sleeping. He was exhausted after today.”

“I would have thought you’d be, too.”

“I am… but I can’t stay in this house any longer.”

Her frown deepens. “Sutton, what’s going on?”

“I’ll explain everything. Just not here. Can we go for a drive?”

Faye bites on her lower lip, her eyes darting back to the house again. But in the end, she nods and gestures for me to get in.

I’m aware that my plan is entirely dependent on Faye and our friendship. But I am hoping that, as new as our friendship may be, it’s strong enough for this.

Security stops Faye on the way out of the property. It’s Pavin on guard duty today. He’s on the older side, intensely loyal, and astickler for the rules. I can tell he disapproves of our little late-night jaunt.

“Where are you heading, ma’am?” Pavin asks, looking past Faye to address me.

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