“Hey, a penny for them,” Ghost said, making me jump.
“Huh?” I replied eloquently.
“You were lost in thoughts, babe.”
I liked that, too. Ghost called me babe as if I meant something to him. He smiled at me a lot, too. I wasn’t stupid; I’d guessed Ghost was attracted to me, but I didn’t know what to do about it.
Beau was very much part of my memories, and we’d had our future stolen. Ghost was here because of Fury and Beau’s death. It was far too soon to move on from Beau’s murder. And that made me flinch. I’d never referred to Beau’s death that way before, and suddenly, the thought hit me. If Beau hadn’t married me, he’d still be alive today.
The blood drained from my face, and Ghost frowned.
“Shit, Carmelle!” he exclaimed, but I jumped up and ran to the bathroom. I kicked the door shut and heaved. Moments later, the door bounced open, and I heard the faucet running. Someone placed a cold cloth on my neck and then pulled my hair back.
“Go away,” I choked out.
“Not happening,” Ghost rumbled.
“I don’t want you to see me like this,” I cried and heaved again.
Ghost just sat on the edge of the bath and rubbed my back while holding my hair clear. Finally, I stopped heaving and sat up and flushed for the last time. Ghost handed me a glass of water and taking a gulp, I swilled it around my mouth and spat.
“What happened?” Ghost demanded.
“It hit me. Beau’s death. I’ve always called it a death, but it’s not, he was murdered. And… and… if Beau hadn’t met me, he’d be alive today,” I cried as tears began tracking down my cheeks.
“Damn, babe, I didn’t know you were omniscient,” Ghost said.
“Huh.”
Ghost manoeuvred his ass to the floor and hauled me into a hug. “Carmelle. Beau could have been hit by a bus, in a car accident, or even had a building fall on him. Hell, anything could have happened. You’re not responsible for his death. Fury and the fuckers he sent after him were. In the last two years, Volcano has eliminated the assholes who killed Beau. Fury is all that’s left, and I’ll get him. He’ll pay.”
“I hate Fury,” I sobbed, resting my head on Ghost’s very nicely muscled chest.
“Babe, you got every right to. But blaming yourself for his death ain’t good. You can’t know what would’ve befallen Beau if you hadn’t been in his life. But I tell you something that wouldn’t have happened, and that’s those two beautiful babies.”
“True.”
“And from what you’ve told me, that man would die a hundred times for Shannon and Sadie to exist. He’d not flinch or change path because Beau adored them, and he loved you. Don’t tear down what he gave the three of you because that is doing Beau a disservice. Beau died fighting them to save you. It was an unfair fight, they had guns, and he didn’t. He deserves recognition for his heroic actions.”
“Okay.”
“Carmelle, it’s too early for you to be thinking of dating another man. Or even considering someone.But know this. I’m gonna be here by your side no matter what. And if I fall, if Fury or his assholes get me, one of my brothers will step up. You’ll never, ever be alone again or unprotected.”
“I feel like I’m betraying Beau,” I whispered.
“Why?”
“Because I’m attracted to you.”
Ghost’s arms tightened.
“Sweetness, I’m in love with you. Head over heels. But it’s too soon, you’re not ready. But know this. In ten, twenty years’ time, hell, when I’m an old man in a rocking chair, there’s going to be a picture of Beau on our fireplace,” Ghost said. “Wanna know why?”
“Why?”
“Because Beau Travers is a fuckin’ hero. He gave his life so his woman and kids could live. By doing so, Beau offered me a chance at a beautiful life. Beau will be the reason for everything when I’m old and surrounded by grandchildren. All because of Beau’s sacrifice. And I will respect and owe him until you put me in the ground, baby,” Ghost said honestly.
“I’m not ready for another relationship,” I whispered.