Page 53 of The Ghost of Rage's War

Carmelle shook her head. “Something’s upset you badly. I can see it. Ghost, what the hell happened? I thought you were going for a ride, but you’ve been gone hours.”

“I headed to Rage. It was time to bring them up to date. I expected resentment, yeah, but not the level of it I’ve just witnessed. They’d grieved my death hard, naturally, because we were close as brothers. But the amount of anger took me by surprise.

“Fuck, some of them acted as if I’d enjoyed my time away, Carmelle! Like it was a fuckin’ holiday. None of them have any idea of the shit I swam in, nor the crap I had to swallow daily. You’ve got no clue how hard it was to watch the Fangs treat women as they did. I tried to get to you when you were first brought in and Volcano stopped me. When Fury knocked you down when you held the kids, Volcano restrained me.

“When Fury stripped you naked and hurt you badly, Volcano had to shove me outside. I intended to kill Fury, but Volcano was right. All of us would have died. Then to have to watch drugs, guns, and other shit being sold working for Santos? Having topretend to have his back daily. They believed that was easy. I swam in so much shit I don’t think I’ll ever get clean!” Ghost erupted.

“Ghost…” Carmelle whispered.

“It ate me, those four months you were at the clubhouse destroyed me. Carmelle, you were my president’s sister, and I couldn’t save you. What type of man was I? Worse than that? You were a damn innocent, and I saw yours and Shannon’s light switch off, andI couldn’t help you!” Ghost drew in a breath but didn’t stop spewing.

“Every single hour, I wondered if you and the girls were safe, were fed, were healthy. Leaving you in that shithole cost me. And then I discovered Santos was running women and children. Not as whores, but as sex slaves for trafficking. I tipped Anderson off each time. Anderson raided the transfers at various stages of the process so nobody knew where the leak was. But some died.

“I have their blood on me. No wonder you can’t even consider me as your man. Who’d want me? A man who left his family for thirteen years to go undercover and immerse himself in filth. You understand the scum I truly am. I hoped saving you and the girls would cleanse me a little, absolve me from those I couldn’t save. But the guilt is there, it eats me inside.

“The men I expected to understand turned on me. Because they’re butt hurt that I lied to them. Not one of them fuckers tried to understand. Not a single asshole put themselves in my shoes and walked a dayin them. No, they don’t trust me.They don’t fuckin’ trust me.I broke my ethics and morals, buried my true self to make sure they were safe, and they can’t stand the sight of me.

“Apache, we were closer than most, had hate in his eyes. He nearly broke me. My brother hates me. Axel could barely look at me, and nobody asked if I was okay. As if I escaped unscathed… well, I fuckin’ didn’t. I can’t sleep because of the nightmares I saw Santos and the Fangs committing. Those images are burned into my brain, and I can’t rid myself of them.

“And you know what’s worse? I told Drake about you. He’s got a half-sister and nieces. Drake wouldn’t accept it at first. Drake never inquired about you or the children. How you escaped. Did anything happen to you and them? Drake, the so-called family man,did notgive a fuck about you and what you suffered. I explained you and the girls saw Beau killed, and he didn’t even flinch. No, Drake was more hung up on the fact that his daddy had fucked another woman.

“Where was Drake when Fury was abusing you? Where was the club? Drake wasn’t the one watching innocent people get beaten and raped. Drake didn’t see the pictures of your body, bruised and cut up. Your breasts, damn Carmelle, I’ll never forget that image of those bruises. They looked like fuckin’ punch bags they were so swollen and blackened. Fuck!” Ghost roared the last word.

Ghost rubbed a hand over his face as a soft body hit him hard.

Carmelle wrapped her arms around him. Ghostslowly embraced her, too.

“I’m broken, Carmelle. Ain’t ever gonna claim I was an angel, but I was a damn good man. I possessed a moral compass. I thought Rage turning dark had me sinking deep, but Santos and the Fangs consigned me to hell. When we got you free, I thought it would ease, but no. I had to watch over you because of Santos taking a liking to you.

“Luckily, Santos was more of a gentleman, but you were in danger. Eventually, Fury would have hit on the correct price and Santos would have sent you back. Even if that blew my cover, I wasn’t gonna let that happen. And now, we’re here, still hiding out because Fury’s walking free. Carmelle, you deserve what you had with Beau, and clearly, I ain’t him. What a fuckin’ idiot I was to think you would consider me. All you see is the bad, and I can’t blame you.

“Then there’re the times I snuck away to warn Rage about something or to help save one of their women. I had to leave you, and that terrified me. That I’d come back, and you’d be dead or had given in to Santos. I risked everything every time I left you alone. They didn’t think about that. That you had nobody other than me. Beau is dead, and you were by yourself with two babies. Where’s their empathy?

“Bunch of stuck, up, arrogant cunts. And they called themselves brothers! They ain’t. All those years, putting Rage before my needs, and they don’t trust me? Me? Fuckers, all of them. They hurt? So the fuck do I. They moved on from my death, I couldn’tmove on from leaving them. Because I was acting for them. But no, I’m in the damn wrong!

“Baby, I swear to you, the moment Fury is dead, you’ll get your suburban life back. You’ll find another Beau, a man who can treat you right and give you the white picket fence. I’m a fuckin’ fool. No way would you consider a future with me, but that’s okay, yeah? Until this is settled, I’ll protect and guard you and the girls. Then I’ll walk away, and you can move on, past this shit and have a beautiful life.”

“Come with me,” Carmelle said, and Ghost let her lead him into the house.

Jase

He stepped out of the tree line in which he’d been hiding and jogged back to his car. On the way, he ducked the cameras and escaped without being seen. Jase climbed in his car, drove a short distance, and then phoned in.

“Did Ghost spot you?” Hawthorne asked.

“No. Dylan, that dude is in a world of pain. I recorded a conversation. My opinion is Rage need to hear this. But that’s up to you,” Jase said and cut the call.

He sent Hawthorne the recording and began driving back to Rapid City. When they’d received the information that Ghost had shown, Hawthorne’s had scrabbled to get men in place to follow him. It hadbeen a successful mission. If they needed to take Ghost down, Hawthorne’s knew where he was.

Carmelle

I was gutted when Ghost spilled everything he’d bottled up inside. No doubt, this man felt deep and shouldered a heavy burden. Ghost let me lead him into the house, and I checked the kids remained outside playing as we entered the kitchen. They were.

Ghost sat at the breakfast table in the kitchen and stared out at the girls.

“How the hell can you ignore beauty like that?” Ghost murmured.

I agreed. My babies were beautiful. And fuck Drake Michaelson. While Ghost collected his thoughts, I busied myself making coffee. That rant contained too much to process immediately.

---