Page 55 of Fanatic

I couldn’t help but compare. Grey had been a decent eight inches, Fanatic looked bigger, and Grey was a little thicker, perhaps. Shit, would that even fit in me? A low groan slipped through Fanatic’s teeth as he finished coming. His head dropped, and he sighed.

“Willow. You’re killing me, babe,” he muttered.

I felt bad for watching and moved away quickly. Somehow, I realised this was a tense moment.

“Forgive me, my friend, but I’ve loved Willow ever since she flounced onto that fuckin’ forecourt,” Fanatic said as I reached his door. I froze at those words and twisted my head.

The toilet flushed, but I couldn’t move as Fanatic came out doing his belt up and caught me standing there.

“Willow?”

“You love me?” I whispered.

Fanatic ran a hand over the back of his neck and glanced at the floor. He looked up and, despite the flush on his cheeks, held my eyes and nodded.

“Properly love me. Not as friends?” I sought clarification as I reeled inside.Fanatic loved me.

“Willow, I fell in love with you in that stupid stripper outfit, and you were so damn brave. You could have fled RC and headed for the field office, instead you came to warn Axel. Keith had betrayed you and just died, but you put that aside and headed for Rage. How could anyone not love you?” Fanatic asked helplessly.

“Fanatic, you’ve never said anything!”

“You were with Grey! How the fuck did I own up to having feelings for you? You both loved each other before I even met you. I sucked it up, Willow, and carried on with life,” Fanatic defended himself. He leaned against the wall and assumed the pose that drove me wild.

Things were starting to add up. “That’s why the one-night stands. They weren’t me.”

Fanatic nodded.

“And you didn’t date for the same reason.”

“No, I meant what I said about my illness…”

“Beforehand Fanatic, you didn’t date before the explosion!”

“No, Willow.”

“For the same reason.”

“Yeah.”

“How did I miss this?” I wondered as I wandered across and sat on Fanatic’s bed.

Fanatic flushed deeper. “Because you were in love with Grey.”

“And now?”

“What? You want to eviscerate me for that? Shit, I know I betrayed Grey, but you were naked. Jesus, I’m human. No man could resist you naked,” Fanatic cried.

“Oh, with my face looking like it does, I disagree,” I retorted and snorted.

Fanatic looked at me in shock. “Do you think this is funny?”

I saw the raw pain in Fanatic’s eyes. The guilt and desolation he experienced. Fanatic was beating himself up, and I couldn’t have that.

“Kinda,” I said, and Fanatic stiffened in outrage. His mouth was open to blast me, no doubt, but I continued. “I was so jealous the other night. Honestly, I wanted to follow you and rip that bitch’s hair out by its roots. The beautiful girl next door who, luckily, turned into a raging sex-crazed maniac.”

“You were jealous?” Fanatic asked, hope rising in his eyes.

“Furiously so. If Jimenez hadn’t been there, I’d have followed you. Or called you halfway through. Fanatic, you were fucking hot.”

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