Page 3 of Fanatic

On the front row sat Uncle Drake and Aunt Phoe, Dad and Ellen, Wild and Cowboy; Fanatic stood waiting.

There was a space for me, and before taking it, I knelt in front of the coffin and repeated my vows I’d have given as a bride. Then, I rose with dignity and took my seat. Today no one would see me break, not now.

Chapter One.

April 2023 - A day later

Willow

Istood at the grave and tried not to shatter. Yesterday, I’d had the strength to hold my ground and honour Grey. Now, I wanted to dig through that disturbed earth and curl up with him. Today, there were no funerals to attend. Our part of South Dakota, for two weeks, had been a constant whirl of them. I had attended each one, feeling numb until Grey’s.

The mass of flowers covering Grey’s grave was crazy. He’d been loved and not known it. If Grey could see this, he would laugh it off and make some stupid joke, as he tended to. Grey hated attention on him, and this would have had him crawling up his own ass. But he didn’t get a say in it; he’d left me.

That probably sounded unfair, and it was. But how else could I look at it? Why the hell hadn’t he obeyed Drake and stayed behind? Because he had been FBI. That’s why. Because Grey was a fucking hero. Another reason.

Tears trickled down my face as I sat on the ground and released my grief finally. I cried for a man put too early in his grave. I’d done my duty yesterday and held it in.

Not today.

Harsh sobs left me as I emotionally collapsed and roared my pain out to the world. With each sob, I lost a dream, and that hurt just as much.

Grey’s and mine future vacations disappeared. Christmas faded away. Carrying Grey’s children and watching him be the best Dad ever, gone. Growing old together never gonna happen.

All the things we’d taken for granted were gone because of one man. Fury. I’d been informed by Irish that Fury had paid. That meant nothing to me. It did not bring Grey back. I suppose Irish thought it would make me feel better, but it didn’t. The knot of pain that I’d been holding unravelled, and I was lost, adrift, and I wasn’t sure what to do.

Strong arms wrapped around me, and I was hauled against a hefty chest. I didn’t need to ask who it was; I knew. A chin landed on my head as I was yanked between muscular thighs and embraced tightly. His tears fell onto me as we both grieved.

Minutes passed. It could have been hours, but I doubted it.

“What you gonna do, babe?”

“I can’t breathe. I gotta leave,” I replied.

“Then do so. Do what you need, people will understand,” he soothed.

“Fanatic, you’re one of my closest friends, so I can say this, and you’ll get it. Fuck people.”

Fanatic released a dark chuckle. “Yeah, I get that feeling often. Chance says I’m becoming anti-social.”

“He isn’t wrong.”

“Nah. Lately, it’s driving me crazy. Since the war, folks come and stare at us or wanna shake our hands and talk. Where the hell were they when we were bleeding in the streets? I ain’t gotthe patience. If I did not have commitments, I’d run with you,” Fanatic said.

“Am I running?” I asked. That thought displeased me.

“Yup, and can’t blame you. Everyone out there wants a piece of you. You have to put yourself first, Willow. The Feds wish to use you as a poster girl, the lawyers want you as the heroic grieving widow, Rage wanna cling to you. Drake needs you to be there to immortalise Grey. Fuckin’ run, Willow, and heal. Come back when you are stronger.”

“What if that’s never?”

“Bullshit. You’re Willow Ware. You were undercover five years to bring down a cartel. Babe, your father is Axel, your brothers are bikers, your stepmom is a schoolteacher. There’s strength in you. You have to discover it again. Grieve Grey and mourn him well. You’ll never find his equal, but you won’t be alone for the rest of your life. Because Grey would want you to seek happiness, and you will,” Fanatic stated.

“Screw that,” I hissed.

“It’s way too soon to think of moving on, but you will, babe. In time. And don’t believe the bullshit, time heals. The fuck it does. Time means the pain deadens, and you get used to living with it. There is a future for you, just not the one you expected,” Fanatic said.

“You’re sounding like your mother,” I retorted and wiped my eyes as Fanatic chuckled.

“Yeah. Could be worse, I suppose. Willow, my advice as your friend is run. Run far away. Take the time you need. Shits not even started hitting the fan yet, and it will soon. Now the funerals are nearly done, eyes and attention are turning towards why Rapid City stood alone.

---