Page 16 of Nolan

"I care about her too much to risk it," I admit, setting my own mug down. "And I care about you, Nolan. But maybe we got ahead of ourselves. Maybe we should take a step back, figure out what we really want, what's best for all of us."

Pain flashes across his face, but he nods. "You're right. Ashlynn's lost enough people in her life. Her mom gave up custody without a second thought. I won't let her be abandoned again."

"I would never abandon her," I say fiercely, the very suggestion sending a surge of protectiveness through me. "But that's exactly why we need to be careful. We need to make sure whatever happens between us is real and lasting. For her sake."

He reaches out, taking my hand in his. The touch is gentle, tentative, so different from the passionate embraces of last night. "I understand. We'll take a step back. Figure things out. But Annabelle..."

"Yes?"

"I meant what I said. I've wanted this for a long time. That hasn't changed."

I squeeze his hand, letting myself imagine, just for a moment, what it would be like if we could make this work. If we could be a family,Nolan, Ashlynn, and me.

"I know," I whisper. "Me too."

Nolan releases my hand, his eyes never leaving mine. "We'll figure it out," he promises. "In time, we'll figure out what works."

I know he's right, but it hurts like hell. Taking a step back is the right thing to do. The responsible thing. But I can't help but wonder if we're making the biggest mistake of our lives.

CHAPTER NINE

Nolan

Iwatch her car disappear down the driveway, the dust settling in its wake like the last of my fucking hope. I'm not even sure who brought her car here this morning, but right now I hate them. It gave her a way to leave. Annabelle is gone, taking with her the possibility of what could have been, what I thought, for a short amount of time, might actually be.

When she signals at the end of the driveway, I pull out my phone and send a group text to the guys.

N: Need some company tonight. Beers on the deck after Ash is in bed?

The responses come quickly.

Vaughn: Count me in.

Boone: I'll be there, we haven't had family dinner in a while.

Weston: Got a case of that IPA you like. Be there at 8.

Relief washes over me. My friends, always there when I need them. The family I chose when my own proved too distant, too caught up in their own lives to care about mine.

Ash wakes up, and I do my best to be her dad for the rest of the day. Saturday's usually don't drag this much, but I find myself looking forward to getting her ready for bed and doing the bedtime story. Leaning over to give her a kiss, and letting her feel the safety in our home. By the time I get Ashlynn in bed, I'm ready for that beer, maybe several.

"Night, Daddy," Ashlynn murmurs sleepily as I tuck her in.

My heart squeezes painfully. She won't be this little long, and I'm already dreading it. "Sweet dreams."

Boone is waiting in the hallway when I close her door. "You look like hell," he says bluntly.

"Feel like it too," I admit, leading the way to the back deck where Vaughn and Weston are already setting up, the golden glow of the setting sun casting long shadows across the lawn. The moon will be up before we know it, and I'm looking forward to the cover of dark so I don't have to face what's happened in the light of day.

"So," Vaughn says as he hands me a beer, "what happened with Annabelle?"

I take a long pull from the bottle before answering. "We crossed a line. Then decided to uncross it."

"Meaning?" Vaughn presses, settling into one of the Adirondack chairs.

"Meaning we kissed, almost slept together, and then this morning agreed it was a mistake." The words sound hollow, even to my own ears.

"Bullshit," Boone says, surprising me with his vehemence. "I've seen the way you look at her, man. And the way she looks at you. That's not a mistake."

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