Page 43 of Quiet Burn

“Are you still with me?”

I look down at X as they work on my outfit during the long free period mid-day. We’re in the center of my dorm—the new gathering area since the guys moved their chairs here—snacking on treats Salem left. He dragged the rest of them toTricliniumto help me be less worried as Xerxes does the final adjustments. They only have a day left to get this perfected so I’ll be able to get ready on Saturday.

“I am; it’s just…” My voice trails off and I fight the urge to shrug so I don’t mess up his lines. “…this is very nerve-wracking. Ididn’t have great interactions withanyof the students at my high school regardless of gender, and I have issues with damn near everyone here. It feels like this thing is adding more layers to the shit sandwich that is my reality.”

X smacks my thigh and I’m a bit surprised when I don’t react to their familiar touch. “You’ll befine, Kit Kat. I guarantee no one here will screw with you now that we’ve established the dating thing. Admittedly, it causes other problems, but that’s better than ones that lead to injury.”

I arch a brow at them. “X, I get that you guys go to gender-specific schools for your entire education, so I’m going to explain this like I would to a kid. Girls will be here.”

“Yes.”

“This college is packed with rich, eligible, sex-starved idiot males who range from hetero to the ‘A’ in the rainbow.”

They nod, pausing to look at me. “Duh.”

“And they have the same?”

“I feel like we’re going somewhere, but it’s mostly just stating facts.” They wink at me, then fill their mouth with pins again.

“X, for fuck’s sake. Demons crave power and infamy, which comes with money and titles. This place is chock full of that, but at the top of the goddamn heap isour caliphate.” Their answer is muffled by the pins, but I’m fairly certain it would infuriate me. “None of you jackasses are on the market nowbecause of me. That means every single female presenting demon who comes to this thing with delusions of grandeur is going to want tomurderme.”

They blink, then spit out the pins in a loud ‘ptooey.’ I chuckle as it finally hits them that the dance will be even more precarious than the school is. “Well, shit, KK.”

“That’swhy I’ve been getting increasingly freaked out as we get closer. Paired with my outfit, and all the other crapola? I feel like we’re going to be surrounded by hungry predators looking to shove me out of their way with extreme prejudice.”

Xerxes sits back on their haunches, their rainbow detailed uniform skirt splayed around them in a graceful cloud. “Honestly, that’s probably better than them groping and pawing at you—and us. The combo events in secondary and middle grades were quite uncomfortable for me.”

“Because you’re gay? I thought demons?—”

They laugh, shaking their head and my skin heats as golden curls fall over their brow making them look even more gorgeous. “I’m notgay, Kit Kat. I fall somewhere around demi and pan, but I let people use the wrong terminology for specifically this reason. The females being single-minded about sexuality despite all evidence to the contrary in their own schools means I have far fewer people pawing at me because I’m an ‘easy in’ to the caliphate.”

The thought of someone using or pawing at them without their consent makes my blood boil.

Clenching my fists tightly, I grind out, “So… none of you are gay? All of you are? I feel… ill-prepared for how I am supposed to actuallybehaveat this thing.”

X tsks softly. “That is not entirely my truth to share, Kit Kat, but you should feel comfortable in assuming there’s a fairly thorough rainbow representation amongst our caliphate. I’msure you’ve gleaned that knowledge on your own. But none of us are like the extremist idiots from any of the realms who act as though there’s only one pairing that should exist.”

“Duh,” I mumble as my face gets redder. I don’t know why I’m so worried about the girls trying to get in their pants, nor why I want so much info on their sexual preferences.

Dudes here think I’m a convenient sex toy—so the whispers say when the guys aren’t around to stop them—so it shouldn’t matter, right?

But itdoesmatter to me and I’m baffled as to why. It might be because these demons are my lifeline at Discordia and if they get distracted by courtship, my shit will take a backseat. Yes, that definitely is the problem; I’m worried I will become more of a burden if they find suitable girls to lavish attention on. I want to wrap my arms around myself as I frown, needing the comfort of making myself smaller as emotions rocket through me. I can’t, though, so my eyes skate over to my kinkajou.

It only takes a moment for her to scamper over, climb up my body and perch on my shoulder where she can hug my face. That soothes me, and I close my eyes as the touch of my support animal helps me calm before the anxiety ramps up too high to manage.

“Kit Kat, I can sense that,” X murmurs as they pin hems. “What’s got you freaked out again?”

If only I could tell them I’m falling victim to my own idiotic agreement, but I can’t—keeping my secret is too important to admit how fond I am of these dipshits.

The knockon the door startles me and I give Xerxes a panicked look. “Oh, damn, it’s Oriel.”

“Don’t want anyone but me to know what we have planned, hmm?” They give me a smug smirk when I nod shyly. “You look fabulous and I don’t blame you. My genius is simplymadefor your frame, man. You might even look better than me.”

“Uh, I highly doubt that,” I reply as I watch them pick up all the pins and things so I can scamper to the bedroom to get my mostly complete outfit off in private. “Keep him busy, please?”

X grins before I slam the door, and I breathe a sigh of relief. It’s been hard enough to keep myself covered in ways that shroud my smashed boobs, but Oriel will figure it out in thirty seconds. Xerxes isn’t looking, so he hasn’t noticed, especially because he uses magic in his measuring. But if I know the sharp-eyed crow hybrid, he won’t miss a single detail. I’ll be exposed and I need to prevent that from happening.

Of course, I say that given the gamble I’m already taking with this party, but no one ever accused me of being too logical.

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