Page 73 of Quiet Burn

“Hello?” I wave my free hand at them. “I asked a question.”

X lets go of me, whirling around with wide eyes as he looks around, then at me. “It’s not because you’re… I mean. I wasn’t saying anything because it’s not cool, right? But then today with the uniforms, I realized that I wasn’t keeping that kind of secret. Right?”

What the fuck is he talking about?

“X? I feel like you skipped a step. I’m not sure?—”

They sink their hands into their hair, groaning as they look up at the ceiling. “Hecate, help me.” Their gaze comes back to me, determined but kind. “Kit, Iknow. I mean, I sort of knew when you arrived but I thought… I thought I’d be crossing a line to out you and… I’mnot, because youaren’t.”

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuckkity. Fuck.

Panic floods my system as my chest tightens and I lick my lips. I have to keep myself from keeling over or everyone will come running and I’ll have to admit it to them all. “I… I … I…”

“I’m not going to tell, Kit Kat.” X reaches out, grabbing my hand again and squeezing it to bring me back. “Don’t start hyperventilating. But I needed you to know I know because… I can help. I don’t knowwhyyou’re hiding who you are, but… I won’t tell.”

I blink, swallowing hard. “You won’t?”

They smile, shrugging a little. “I’d be a big fucking hypocrite if I decided what gender you are changes the person we’ve gotten to know, wouldn’t I?”

I guess that’s true.

“Not even Anton? I don’t want him to be mad at you,” I croak, still coming down from what would have been a major freak out. “That’s not fair of me to ask anyone; I know.”

“Kit, I don’t know why you’re doing this and you don’t have to tell me. I’d like you to want to at some point and that requires trust. You need to feel comfortable enough with us to accept our animals and demons, plus let us see the real you. That’s going to be interesting for sure, but regardless, it takes time.” X grins as they hold up a finger. “But with all this shit coming, you need an ally, especially when it comes to getting the proper gear. So that’s me.”

“Oh,” I say as it sinks in. “You thought I was going to lose it every time I had to have things for certain trials or whatever the fuck they make us do, right?”

X taps their nose. “Exactly. So in the interest ofnothaving you pass out from panic every time, I realized it was time to reveal my knowledge. I figured it would help you keep your balance.”

“What about Anton?” I press. “Isn’t he going to be angry?”

“Uh, no. I often keep non-serious, non-life altering secrets that he pries out of me eventually. It’s a game we play, so he won’t be mad. This one, he’ll have to get out of you, though.” X pauses, biting their lip impishly. “But he’s awfully good at it and he sees much more than people realize. He and Oriel are so damned good at that.”

I nod, taking that info as I think about Xerxes’ offer. “You swear you won’t tell? Because I have to take that on faith and… I’m not good at that. I’ll try, though.”

They hold their hand out, pinky extended. “Pinky swear. I’d do blood, ‘cause that’s the demon way, but I think it’d freak you out.”

My brows furrow as I hook pinkies with them, and I let out a long breath. “I need to get used to demon ways, X. Find something and teach me.”

They blink, then move quickly to find a small dagger. X holds it up between us, their head tilted. “You sure, Kit Kat? Blood is a big deal for us, especially attached to a promise. Are you ready for that?”

“I think so? I won’t know until I try. Should I expect some… big deal?” I ask curiously. “I only know what humans show in the media… about demon deals, I mean. I don’t have a clue what to expect.”

“Just us touching, the tingle and mingle, then a little bit of smoke and light show, but nothing big. You’ll be okay.” They hold up their palm, slicing it without even flinching. “Ready?”

Nodding, I keep my mouth closed as I give him my hand again. I’m too nervous to speak until it’s done; this is so beyond my comfort zone I don’t even know how to express it. “Okay, do it.”

X slices my skin and the knife is so sharp I barely feel the sting. They take my bloody palm in theirs and as promised, a zing of energy shoots from the point where our blood mixes. My hand, then my arm, and then the rest of my body tingles like I’ve been shocked. I close my eyes, letting it work through me as he whispers, “As it is said, let it be written in the flames. The bond is locked and the oath will be honored until the end.Sermo meus sanguis meus est; sanguis meus juratus est in æternum?1.”

I really hope this isn’t a bad idea; I don’t know if I could handle being wrong about them.

Xerxesand I spent a bit more time getting measurements and talking about the previous Games before we headed back to my dorm. They felt I should be aware that the farther into the competition we get, the more likely it will be that I’ll have to confess my secret to some or all of our team. The last trials had aquatic and survival portions that would almost certainly require them to make something special for me to wear—though I’m not sure what excuses we’ll have to make to have that work. I also spilled the beans about the potion Dank is making for me until I emerge; it lifted a weight off of my shoulders when X volunteered to help me get refills so I’m not always headed for the doctor.

An ally who knows my secret other than a kinkajou who can’t speak might be a bigger asset than I realized.

“I don’t know if you’ve considered this…” they trail off, looking unsure for a moment, then sigh. “But most of the guys will take this with a grain of salt, except for Jasper. He’s going to lose his fucking mind, mostly because he’s been adamant that you’re hiding something.”

“Well, he’s right—which he’ll love—but not about what,” I reply with a rueful expression. “I’m not a goddamn spy for Lucianorhis father. I am, however, keeping a monster secret that’stripping his radar. I don’t imagine he’ll be easy to get acceptance from.”

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