Page 77 of Failed State

“What the fuck is wrong with me?” I mutter as I slam my fists into the bag in a blur of motion. “I’m too old for this shit.”

My only answer is silence, and I snarl in frustration. Perhaps it’s simply the allure of forbidden fruit… even vampires fall victim to unattainable desires. I frown as I consider that, then discard it because I’ve run into shit I couldn’t have before. I’ve even run intopeopleI couldn’t have before and I just re-focused on something else without an issue. No, this is something entirely different that I don’t understand.

If only my species weren’t so goddamn closed off since the human coup, I might have been exposed to more lore than the remaining coven leaders allowed us to learn.

I sigh, pausing my fury to put my hands on my knees and breathe deeply. The mage and the bear are far too young to understand my concerns about this situation. I may need to speak with the demon and the dragon—they’re in the same age range as me and have a lot more knowledge of the ancient ways. They’re also species that are less tamed and mingle less with the humans, unlike shifters, magic users, and the like. Given their unique perspectives, we might dissect the extremely unlikely theory I have regarding our reluctant female.

“Or they’ll laugh me out of the fucking room, but it wouldn’t be the first time that ever happened,” I mutter as I stand up and peel the tapes off of my hands. The wounds will heal this evening, so I don’t bother bandaging them. “This damn team might be the only beings I haven’tkilledformocking my legitimate questions, but I can live with it.”

Hopefully, these clowns don’t set me off and start a fistfight in our damn room.

“Syd, is that you?”

I roll my eyes when the bear calls out. No surprise that he’s worried about her; he and the demon are the closest to her. It was obvious they’d only run into the situation briefly in the past by the way they both behaved in the locker room, despite not knowing them well. I didn’t have to think hard to figure out that they probably ignored it until she did whatever she needed to rectify the problem, then never mentioned it. The amount of coddling they did with our team centerpiece has become more and more apparent as time goes by, and I’d love to ask why the fuck they thought keeping her in the dark helped keep her safe.

“No, dipshit, it’s me,” I say as I shut the door and stride through the kitchen to the living area. “You’d know that if you were using the gifts your animal gives you, by the way. What’s with you avoiding your non-humanoid side so much, anyway?”

I’m greeted by the sight of the dragon sprawled in the big armchair and the mage sitting in lotus position with his eyes closed on the floor. The bear is trying like hell to imitate him—though he’s failing—and I arch a brow questioningly. When no one responds, I roll my eyes and head for my room to change.Cleaning up before Sydney and the country fried hellspawn get back is my goal, so I drop my bag and strip off my shirt quickly.

I won’t be able to cover up all the damage I did, but at least I won’t scare the shit out of her when she’s already upset.

My brain clicks, and I suddenly realize that I know how those two dimwits ended up hiding all the ugly stuff from our girl. EvenI’mpurposefully covering up normal shit for my kind to prevent her from being shaken. Something about the vulnerability tucked under her hard shell snuck into my consciousness, and I’m behaving differently so she will be less likely to need to confront basic truths. I am a vampire and we are very primal—violence and hunger are integral parts of who we are, though it’s not always a negative thing. That same primal instinct is at the core of Thad’s grizzly and definitely Huck’s demonic side, but they consistently tamp those parts of themselves down.

“Someone has to normalize accepting their supernatural species, and if she hates me because of it, I will deal with it,” I mutter to myself. “Sydneyhasto get comfortable with people using and embracing their powers or she’ll never be able to handle these stupid classes, much less the damn competition.”

I kick off my shoes and socks, tossing them into the basket for laundry pickup later in the week. Pulling a pair of sweatpants out of the drawer, I replace the stinky, sweaty ones, but I don’t wipe off the telltale signs of my spent fury in the gym. Once I’m done, I step out of my room and head for the kitchen to pour myself a large mug of blood. I don’t make a big deal of my secondary nourishment when we eat, but today, I’ll be less decorous.

Sydney will face other vampires and worse supes than us amongst the teams—she has to develop a callus for it.

Sauntering into the living area, I plop into an armchair and cross my legs at the ankles as I sip my food. “Why is Thad tryingto injure himself with the mage, anyway? And why aren’t you joining them, Dante?”

“Because I want to find my Zen, bloodsucker,” Thad says without opening his eyes. “Not that I owe you an explanation.”

“True enough, but inner Zen isn’t exactly a normal trait for a grizzly shifter, Calvin. I’m curious; sue me.” I grin a bit as he cracks one eye and gives me a dirty look.

Rory’s eyes open next and he smirks. “Just because you aren’t a master of kama sutra doesn’t mean our ursine boy can’t be taught, Whitmore. Don’t be a hater.”

I suppress the urge to sigh heavily as I go back to studying the dragon. He actually looks pretty zoned out, so he might be meditating in a manly fashion in his chair. “Not confident enough to answer, dragon?”

Elias grunts, glaring at me before he shakes his head. “My kind meditate better in our other form, vampire. I was simply reviewing the information and things I saw today to prepare for our meeting during dinner. I find those small details I noticed, but thought little about, jump out when I’m quietly examining the day internally. That can lead to valuable intel.”

“What the hell could you have picked up today? It was a total shitshow, if you ask me.” I take a long drink of my blood, then shrug. “The first session was useless—we’re not stupid enough to need someone to tell us we need to pick apart the other teams for weaknesses. The flair thing will not be helpful until we’re out of training. Combat was good, though it took a nosedive at the end, which is where we all lost the ability to focus for the rest of the day. Tell me I’m mistaken.”

Thad sighs and looks at me with an annoyed expression. “You’re right, but that doesn’t mean Elias didn’t notice things subconsciously. Hell, it doesn’t mean any of us were too distracted to pick up on interesting shit.”

I snort, tilting my head as I look at him. “Then, by all means, please enlighten me as to what you gathered during that last session. Tell me what you picked up while trying not to worry, that Sydney would be angry with us as a defensive mechanism for being embarrassed about what she likely considers to be a weakness.”

I guess I’m not coddling them, either.

“Yikes, Whitmore. What did he do to earn you going for his throat like that?” The mage leans back on his palms, still twisted into a pretzel as he stretches. “Thad did nothing to piss you off; take it easy.”

Setting my mug on the side table, I push to my feet and glare down at them. “See, that’s where you’re incorrect, Stormbringer. Tap dancing aroundeverythingis why Sydney is woefully behind on information about our world beforeandafter the purges. It’s why she’s totally naïve about normal supe behavior and embarrassed about her own biology. Between her weirdo father, the fucking humans, and her two besties, she’s been sheltered so thoroughly that if she’d landed with anyone but us, she would have already had a tragic ‘accident’ so the team could replace her.”

All three of them stare at me as I cross my arms over my chest. I’m not backing down, and theyshouldbe more concerned. When no one speaks, I throw my hands up in the air. “I’mnotsaying we should be less understanding, but we have to quit masking all the shit that comes with being a supe of our particular kind. The only way to prepare her for less… human presenting teams… isnottaking up yoga to calm your horny-ass bear.”

Thad turns bright red, and the dragon bursts into laughter, slapping his knee hard as he howls. Rory gives me a sly grin, his expression knowing as he finally untwists himself. Once he’supright, he walks over, looking me over head to toe, before he makes a soft ‘tsk’ sound.

“Methinks you project too much, Sebastian. You hit the bricks fast enough to leave burning trails behind you after Vicious and the demon left.” He looks at the various bruises and scrapes from my gym tirade slowly, then shakes his head. “Especially because you retreated to the basement to demolish the fuck out of what looks like half the equipment. Hopefully, we’ve got weapons left for class tomorrow.”

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