Page 155 of Sumanika

Wait!

Did he go to war?

My heart stopped suddenly, and I felt a tightening in my chest. I turned and ran to Nandani.

“Nandani,” I called, watching her lay the Princess on the bed.

“Nandani, can you tell me where he went?” I asked as she sighed, walking toward me, taking my hand, and leading me to the couch.

"Sit down,"

I did before she sat beside me.

I held her hand, trembling, and begged, "Please, Nandani, I’m sorry. I know I haven’t told you anything, but is he okay?" My voice wavered, and she nodded, gently caressing my hand.“Yes, he will be fine.”

I inhaled a breath of relief.

"But what happened between you two?" she stared into my eyes.

"Nothing; I think I messed it up badly," I accepted, shaking my head and losing my senses.

She patted my shoulder gently, muttering, "Well, if you don’t tell me, how can I help you?"

I looked at her. "Nandani," inhaling sharply. "He told me about his past, and it hurt me,"

She frowned. "What? Why?" she questioned.

I tried to recount everything he had told me. It was a long conversation, and I felt lost. I cried while forming the word, and she wrapped her arms around me, murmuring, "Suman, calm down. That’s okay,”

I sobbed, and she lifted my chin to make me look at her.

“You know what? Nothing is worth pursuing more than your own heart. I won’t say anything about him, whether he’s right or wrong, because he has done nothing wrong to anyone, including you. The past doesn’t define a person. Even Rudra betrayed me at some point, but that didn’t make me love him any less. Agastya has done nothing to you. He has always protected you, saved you, and made you happy. And all you did in return was call him something he didn’t want to hear. I know you’re heartbroken, but he isn’t the reason for your heartbreak. Why would you hurt him?” She explained.

I shook my head. "I don’t know, Nandani. It’s just that he reminds me of my deceased husband," I tried to explain, looking at Nandani, who stared back at me and shook her head.

"Suman, you shouldn’t think about him or anyone right now. If you see your dead husband in Agastya, then I think you should avoid him, stop talking to him, and even stop thinking about him. Just tell him you don’t want to be around him," she suggested.

I shook my head. "But I want to, Nandani."

She inhaled deeply.“This way,” she said, looking at me.“You’re only going to hurt both of you,” she murmured. I swallowed silently, staring at her.“If you want to be with him, if you like him or love him, accept him with his past, just as he accepted you with yours. He’ll hate you if you keep punishing him for mistakes he never made regarding you. And I don’t think he wants that. Tell me, has he ever tried to hurt you?” she asked slowly. I bit my lips, shaking my head.

“But, Nandani, I’m scared. I fear getting hurt again,” I tried to explain as she rubbed my hand, looking into my eyes.

“I understand. But I see you don’t trust him enough to fall in love. You know, Suman, you can overcome every fight, but you can’t overcome insecurity and trust issues. This is the only thing that hurts brutally and deeply,” she said.

"But I think I trust him," I tried to argue, and she asked in a slow voice,

“Would you trust him if he told you something without checking it and disregarding what you saw? You saw him with Rashmika, and he said there was nothing between them—that they were just friends. Did you trust him?” she asked slowly, and I shook my head.

"How can I trust him when I see him hugging her, Nandani?" I tried to explain, and she inhaled deeply.

“So what he says doesn’t matter to you?” she asked, and I swallowed hard, staring at her in silence.

“I don’t know what I’m feeling. I want him back—healthy and happy. I don’t want to hurt him. I feel bad. He left without even seeing me. I mean, he could have come to me,” I tried to express, and she gritted her teeth and lowered her gaze for a moment.

"He came to you, Suman. He came to your room, attendees told me. You didn’t even open the door for him. They saw him crying outside your door. Just because something heartless happened to you, you’re being heartless to someone else for no reason. And he’s the one who married you in front of an entire village to protect you. Even before he left, he came to me and told me to look out for you and not stress you unnecessarily. You’re my best friend, Suman. In all parts of my life, I’ve made you my partner in crime. Since meeting you, I’ve seen nothing less than a sister in you. My family treats you like one of us when your parents don’t even know if you’re alive or not. But in this, you’re wrong. And it’s not just because he’s my brother-in-law, but because the pain you caused him was unnecessary, and he didn’t deserve it. You didn’t hesitate even once to call him the same as your dead husband. Has he ever forced himself on you? Did he ever try to hurt you? With him, all I’ve seen in you is smile and laughter. But you’re too boxed in your pain not to want anything good to happen to you. Suman, if you don’t accept your past as your past and give life another chance, no matter how good a man comes into your life, you’ll never be able to build a good relationship with him. Leave Agastya—can you trust men in general?" she asked, and I sobbed silently.

“It's too difficult, Nandani. I don’t know what's wrong with me,” I believed as tears rolled down my cheeks.

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