Page 169 of Sumanika

And suddenly, I felt my hand held by a solid yet gentle grip.

I turned back, my eyes widening in slight shock. My heart raced wildly as I looked into his eyes.

My fingers shook badly, and tears suddenly welled up in my eyes. Warmth rushed to my cheeks as I locked eyes with him. Memories of his warm comfort, his voice, and everything I longed for blurred my mind.

He stepped closer, wrapping his arm around my waist. Slowly, he pulled me into his arms.

My chest visibly rose and fell with each breath, and my hand snaked around his neck to support my weight.

Suddenly, the world faded away with his presence, and I felt his arm on my back, gently drawing me closer to his chest.

My eyes blinked nervously as I wrapped my other arm around his neck. His cologne filled me in, giving rebirth to every dead portion of me. My fingers tangled in his hair, fisting and pulling him even closer while my eyelashes fell shut, unable to hold back the tears building in my eyes.

I broke into cries.

I squeezed into his arms, and tears streamed down my face.

"I hate you so much," my voice came out hoarse and trembling as he pressed his cheek against mine and his lips against my neck.

"I hate you too, so fucking much," his slow, tearful voice made me cry even harder, and I felt him leading me to his chamber.

Agastya

With each passing day, I watched the blanket of stars spread across the dark sky, shining like pearls and then transforming into thick clouds—thundering, lightning, and raining—reminding me of the distance between us.

Each shiver I felt under the naked sky on the cold roof of Mehrangarh’s chamber made me wonder why I wasn’t with her.

But then, a painful memory would make me sigh deeply and remind me not all possessions are loving; some can feel like slavery.

But day by day, the sting of those words softened, replaced by smiles of such beauty, allure, and vitality that took my breath away. The bright, innocent, yet possessive and empty eyes, screaming for love, blurred my vision. Eyes that used to look down in moments of confusion, uncertainty, and self-doubt. Her lips, which called me‘Kunwarsa’and curved upward whenever I teased her, constantly reminded me of my responsibilities.

A corner of my heart still beats for her.

Even in the chaos, pain, and separation, the memories of her brought a smile to my lips each day.

My mornings would begin with an impatience to return to the Kingdom, hold her tightly in my arms, and tell her how much I loved her. But as the sun reached its zenith, spreading warmth everywhere with everything it had, sanity would envelop me, reminding me of what she endured because of me. By evening, I would resolve that I was not helping her, but increasing her pain. Finally, at the end of the day, I would go back to sleep, feeling an uneasiness as well—one that pertained to the heartache she experienced with my presence.

To distract myself from her, I engaged in more physical activities, such as exercise, fighting, and horseback riding. Yet, during these months, all I felt was the desire to be closer to her.

Each time I reminded myself that I caused her pain, a thought occurred to me that perhaps I was the one who could help her relieve it.

I felt very weak and lost when I left Suryagarh.

But now, I was no longer that way. I realized that I shouldn’t feel bad about whatever she said. She was my wife; she could feel hurt if something related to me caused her pain. She had the right to be angry with me and to hurt me.

I shouldn’t have felt bad.

However, I needed time.

Now, I was heading back home almost after a year, and I wasn’t sure if she would smile when she saw me. I didn’t even have the courage to face her. Knowing how much I had hurt her, I didn’t have the strength to look into her eyes.

I only knew that I would celebrate the Princess’s birthday and return tomorrow.

I was a mile from the Kingdom, and my heart was pounding wildly. I could feel the sweat on my palms, and I didn’t understand why Ashwait ran even faster.

I took a deep breath before entering the Kingdom, but my heart sank even lower.

Calm Down. She will not eat you.

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