Page 10 of Good As Hell

“Alright,” Fi says pursing her lips. “Let’s create an empress out of an elf.”

“I know you didn’t.” Gasping at the disrespect, I can’t help but join the laughter of her and Summer, who also can’t seen to keep it together.

In less than an hour she has my hair and makeup flawless as always. “The milk and honey forty-inch buss down is immaculate.” I tell her marveling at the blond wig she handmade and convinced me to try when I began training for this new tour. Turning, I watch the waves swing, stopping well below my bottom cheeks.

“Alright let’s suit up.” I’m only going to do a couple songs and ask everyone to register to vote. Being from Birmingham it’s kinda a legacy thing to encourage folks to vote; too many people fought and died for that right. Now, who they vote for ain’t none of my business. But anyone who knows me knows what my politics are and I’ve never hid it — not when I started and definitely not now that I have a bigger platform. Would I do something like this for his opponent? Never. Keeping it classy is my moniker these days. Still, I have to look exceptional because on the rare occasion anyone gets a shot of me not looking my best the blogs have a field day.

Fi hurries over with a designer piece. A white denim jumpsuit with strategic cutouts. “I swear this is taking longer to get on than the wig.” Grumbling, I wiggle and twist my body into the outfit that has built in shape wear. “You’re going to have to check to make sure my wig hasn’t come loose after this.” I huff jumping to get the jeans on. Yes, I trained so that I could have the stamina required for my upcoming tour but these curves don’t quit especially now with the extra plumpness having a baby gives me.

“I will.” Fi says, already sensing I’m about to get snappish now performance time is nearing. It’s jitters pure and simpleand this the first time I’ve performed outside of industry listening parties since I finished the album.

I’m not a diva. Perfectionist, damn straight. I’m the employer of hundreds of people down an endless chain and each an every one of them depends on me being excellent in order for them to make a living. This goes from the top with Fi all the way to my household help. Me screwing up affects us all and me being in the right headspace means I’m able to do what I need to make all their livelihoods possible.

“There,” she says after zipping up the back of the outfit, a secure the neck clasp to ensure there are no wardrobe malfunctions. I always have to make sure my clothes aren’t at risk of tears or slippage.

Turning, I watch the rhinestones hit the lights, just as the designer intended. My tummy, hips and bottom aren’t camouflaged, so they disappear. No, they are on display in a love your curves kind of way.

Grinning at my reflection, seeing the peekaboo cut out that shows my love handles brings pure joy. It’s a big fuck you to the skinny obsessed media who tried to drag my plumpness.

“Nah, you dive into that shit.” FADE told me when my feelings got hurt after my sophomore project went double platinum and I wore a body positive outfit to the Grammys to accept my award and perform. It’s wild how those who claim they are feminist come for Black women when we own our freedom. Thankfully, I used that as a teaching opportunity and started a body positive and empowerment movement, “Own Your Curves.”

Having young girls come to me letting me know how much that made difference in their lives was worth the slings and arrows I’ve gotten in the process from haters.

“You out did yourself this time, Summer,” I look at the baby designer who I commissioned to do all my outfits for this tourafter I saw the lovely wedding dress she made Mimi a couple years ago when she married Santiago.

Now, she’s doing Nikki’s entire wardrobe for Mathias’ senate run as they tour every county in the state. She’s a rising star in the fashion world and though I’m helping to platform her, everyone knows I don’t fuck with lame ass people. I’m the lucky one because she’s saving me money being a newbie. It frees me from the exorbitant prices of using a big name.

“Five minutes.” One of the security women, FADE, supplied calls from the entrance.

“Okay,” Fi says to the room at large. “We know what to do, people. Let’s have a prayer before the Empress hits the stage.” Everyone comes over and we say a quick prayer.

Afterwards, I press a kiss on Ayaan’s crown as Summer leaves so he can go play with Mateo, Mimi’s son.

“Ready?” Fi asks as we stand in the shadows watching Mathias’s closing statement and him asking for the vote of all those present.

“When am I not?” I grin, so ready to take the stage. Other than my son, I love this most in the world. I don’t think there is anything that will compare.

“That was wild.”I tell Fi rocking Ayaan, who wanted me to hold him while I read to him, only to fall asleep shortly after. My baby was exhausted. Right after my set the alarm went out that Nikki was missing. Luckily, she was found, but not in a good way. She and Joi almost died in a fire. We stayed with the Love family until they were both out of the woods.

“We’re lucky to be flying private,” Fi says from the side of the jet she’s commandeered.

“Yeah, being three hours late generally means you have to reschedule, but Mr. Takeda letting us use his private airfield to fly in and out was kindness itself.” I agree, stroking Ayaan’s back.

“He only did it for FADE and Krie,” she scoffs. “Did you see how cold he was just shooting off orders left and right? He knows how to get shit done.” She fans herself.

“Babe, I did.” Smiling, I have to agree. “He’s sexy as fuck. If I weren’t sworn off fine ass men and he was single, I’d play with him a little bit.” I glance at my little reminder of my last adventure.

“You can’t let that stop you. Just make sure your IUD is not expired next time.” She dead eyes me for a long moment before we laugh at it. That shit was not funny two years ago, though. I was terrified.

“I still can’t believe you finally decided to get down with the get down and you get knocked up the first time.” She bursts out laughing like it’s the funniest thing in the world.

“I’m glad I can be a source of entertainment for you, hoe.” I roll my eyes. It’s funny, but it’s not because it’s not true. Choices have consequences and I’m still paying for the one I made not going on tour. I only avoided a lawsuit because I’m doing the sold out tour I canceled two years ago now after a lot of negotiating on FADE’s behalf.

“Yeah, but I wouldn’t change anything. I know you wouldn’t either.” Eyes soft, she reaches over to touch Ayaan’s soft curls.

“I can’t stand you,” I grumble when she rights herself in her seat, pulling out her phone.

“I can’t believe Joi, did all that stuff.” Easing Ayaan down into the little bed I made for him, I stand. Now that he’s sleeping soundly, I can use the restroom.

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