Page 61 of Passion and Payback

“Oh, that.”

“Yes, that.”

He pushed his head against my arm and sighed heavily. “I’ve been in my room, wishing this feeling would just…go away. That I could go on living my life as best I could, continuing to rebuild the life I left behind while starting to build new ways in this place…with you.”

“Tonight was kind of a shock,” I told him gently. “It’s not surprising that it’s taken you off guard and is bothering you.”

“It’s not that I don’t know that, but I mean, ever since that night…with the dealer.”

“Well, that also makes sense. That was a pretty big event for you as well.”

“And I still haven’t felt any regret.”

“I’ve heard you have a few dreams.”

He looked up. “Really?”

“I still don’t sleep through the night, and sometimes I roam. Sometimes I hear you. Nothing I can make out clearly to know what you’re dreaming about, but…I do know you weren’t doing it until after that night.”

“I…” he sighed heavily, shaking his head. “I’m dreaming about that night. Not about the dealer but?—”

“When you were attacked,” I said softly, hating that that was even a possibility.

“Yeah,” he said, swallowing hard. “Not…clearly, but I’m dreaming about it again. Have been ever since that night. NowI’m afraid to go to sleep again because I’m going to keep dreaming about it now I’ve seen what Callum has been up to.”

“Have you kept up with your research?” I asked because it wasn’t like we could pretend he hadn’t been doing it when I wasn’t around.

“It’s how I’ve kept myself busy for several hours. I thought doing all that digging, finding out what they’ve been doing, what their lives are like now, I might be horrified by what I was doing and thinking.”

“But you weren’t.”

“No. Instead, I found out all three of them are fuckingthriving. You saw Callum, little rich boy asshole, using his family name to get into politics. One of his buddies took over one of his daddy’s businesses. Of course, he’s got a whole team to make sure he doesn’t fuck it up, but he’s looking to expand out of Port Dale and maybe go west. And another one? Lawyer. Christ, a CEO, a lawyer, and a politician, can you imagine?”

“Wow, if there were a pack of assholes to be monsters, that would be the three I’d pick.”

“Tell me about it. It’s like a bad joke.”

“A lawyer, a CEO, and a politician walk into a bar?—”

“Ugh.”

I chuckled. “I’m afraid I don’t know the rest of the joke.”

“The joke is that they murdered someone and tried to murder their lover after raping them. Which isn’t a very good joke.”

“I…sorry. Sometimes, it’s easy to forget I’m around normal people in the normal world. Dark humor is kind of our go-to over there.”

He looked at me and winced. “I should be the one saying sorry. And if there’s anything normal about the past two years, show me what.”

I stared at him for a few seconds before sighing. “Which part? Someone being raped and almost killed? Someone theylove being killed in front of them? And them getting away with it because at least one of them is rich and has connections? That’s…more normal than you think, Hunter. It’s pathetically more common than anyone wants to admit.”

“Yeah,” he said with a snort and a shake of his head. “The lowest stay low, and the high get to stay high.”

“I’m not blaming you, considering the circumstances, but that’s awfully bleak coming from you, of all people.”

“I know,” he said with the weariest of sighs. “I’ve been trying to tell myself life will get better, that things can…well, they can’t go back to the way they were, but there’s got to be a way for me to improve things. But then I think about this stuff more, and I just?—”

“Stop believing it,” I guessed.

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