Page 81 of Passion and Payback

I turned toward him, bringing a finger to my face and planting it against my cheek. “I lost my temper a little after he hit me. I told myself these men weren’t going to hurt me again and look. He hurt me. Funny how plans don’t like to stick.”

“He hit you?” he asked, and I could hear heat in his voice, which made me smile.

“What are you going to do to him for it?” I asked, looking up at him.

“Kicking his body a couple of times came to mind,” he admitted, drawing back and looking around. “Did he do anything else?”

At another time in my life, there would have been no way I could recount the tale of my second killing and technically my first murder to anyone so soon after it happened. Yet, I managed to lay out the details of what happened while Kai had been waiting for the sign to help me. As I finished up, I wondered if perhaps, deep down, he had hoped he might be the one to deliver the killing blow and spare me the pain.

Kai listened, and when I was done, he walked past me and toward the body, staying on the outside edge of the pool of blood that would start to thicken soon. He crouched down, his back to me, and his head tilted as he looked at Damon. “Sheesh, and here I was, worried you were going to back out or need me to do this.”

“I kind of wondered that myself.”

“Did you really?”

“No.”

He sighed. “What did you touch?”

“With my hands? Nothing but the blade and everything that was on me. I used my knuckle for the doorbell,” I said with a shrug. “My prints aren’t in any databases, but I figured it was better safe than sorry. Seems you were thinking the same thing.”

“You’re right,” he said with a chuckle. “I guess I didn’t have anything to be worried about when it came to you.”

“You sound worried,” I told him, watching him carefully.

He took a moment before standing up and facing me. “Well, I guess maybe part of me was hoping this might be too muchfor you. When facing it, you would want to back out, even if that meant leaving everything to me to do. But I guess not.”

I tried not to be pissed but didn’t quite succeed. “Are you serious? After everything they did? To Lucas? Tome?”

He smiled sadly. “I know. And wanting revenge is a perfectly normal feeling after all they did. But wanting it and turning around and stabbing a man twice to kill him are two very different things. I wasn’t sure if you had it in you, and maybe I was hoping at least one of us could go through life untouched.”

“What? So now I’m tainted?” I asked, feeling dread and horror finally creeping back into my mind. God, please tell me I hadn’t just lost the latest bright spot in my life, the one thing that wasn’t just normal and good but amazing and great. “You needed me to be innocent and pure? Because that was gone the minute they got their hands on me!”

Kai watched me, my chest rising and falling rapidly, my face burning with outrage and embarrassment. I could hear the thundering of my heart in my ears, and finally, he smiled. It was sad, but it was a smile all the same. “Absolutely not. I just...I know what you’ve lost, and I never wanted you, of all people, to be the one that lost it.”

“That’s about as comforting as a kick to the dick,” I said, turning away from him to stare into the nearby, small kitchen. It was absurd how humble and pleasant the house looked. There was probably some room where the true darkness of Damon’s taste came out in full, but I had no desire to hunt it down and find out. I knew enough about the man to last me a lifetime, and there were still two more to hunt down.

I wondered what they would say when they heard about their friend’s death. I didn’t think they would connect it to what happened two years ago. To them, it might have been memorable as the first time they went too far, evident only by the fact that in his last moments, Damonhadrecognized me.There was a savageness to the joy I felt at that, knowing that as he died covered in his own piss and blood, he had realized that even if the world wouldn’t punish him, a man alone would.

“Hey,” Kai’s voice was soft, and he didn’t hesitate to wrap an arm around my shoulders, which was nice. Sometimes, it was exhausting having him be afraid to touch me too quickly or roughly in fear of setting me off or terrifying me. We were together, whatever that meant, and at the end of the day, I trusted him entirely, even if sometimes I forgot and got lost in my memories. “Hunter?—”

“I’m still here,” I said, hearing the iciness in my voice but unable to stop it. It felt like that other piece of me was starting to retake control, and I hated myself for it, even though I felt helpless to stop it. Killing another person had come so easily to me, and this time, I didn’t need the threat to my life to make it happen. Now, I was left stinging at the implications of Kai’s horror, and it seemed my response to pain now was that icy deadliness. Not that I had any intention of hurting Kai, not physically anyway, but I still felt the temptation to lash out in other ways.

“Look at me,” he said in a soft voice.

I didn’t want to do anything he said, but I still found myself turning to scowl at his soft expression. “What?”

“I need you to understand,” he began softly, stepping closer. “In no way, shape, or form do I feel anything negative about you. I don’t see you as tainted or wrong. When I said that, it’s because I’m heartbroken you were put in that position, but that doesn’t mean I think badly of you. You are still you. You’re still my best friend. You’re still the Hunter I’ve trusted all my life and will continue to trust. And I can’t see the possibility of that ever changing in our lifetime.”

I wanted to stay angry with him, but it disappeared as quickly as it had shown up. It was immediately replaced with a strongdose of shame as I realized I’d gotten so caught up in my feelings that I’d nearly turned my proverbial teeth and claws on the one person left I knew would stand by me. I should have known better than to think he’d ever turn against me or treat me badly.

“I’m sorry,” I said, hanging my head and feeling a sting in my eyes. “I know you wouldn’t be like that. I’m just...I’m in my head right now. I don’t know what’s going on, but I shouldn’t have taken it out on you.”

He chuckled softly, finally reaching out to cradle my head and smile. “Don’t beat yourself up, okay? You’ve had an...interesting day.”

I looked over at the body, and something pleasant stirred inside me. “You know, they say revenge never brings peace. It eats away at you. You get lost in it and never find joy again.”

“I’ve heard something like that before.”

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