Page 103 of Hearts of Fairlake

"Carter," I scolded. "What did you do?"

"She was mean to Connor," he said, tipping his chin up and glaring at me. "No one's mean to him."

"That is no excuse," I told him, squatting down. "Just because someone is mean doesn't mean you need to be mean right back at them. Especially when I had already taken care of it."

"I take care of him," Carter insisted, the stubborn set of his jaw growing even firmer.

"Sorry," I told Colin as he swooped in to get his daughter.

"Kids," he said with a smile, pulling his child close and walking off.

"Listen to me. You can't hurt people just because they're mean or because youthinkthey're mean," I told Carter.

"She stole from him," he said, sounding a little put out now. "That's mean."

I glanced at Connor, staring at me from where he sat with Devin. “Did you...tell your brother?"

"No," he said solemnly, shaking his head.

"Maria told you she took the book, and you pushed her down?" I asked Connor wryly, but I wasn't surprised when Connor shook his head. "Then who told you?"

"No one, she just did," he said.

Of course, after seven years, I didn't have to ask how he knew because he just knew. Just like he’d known when Connor started to get sick when staying the night at Chase and Devin's. Just like Connor had started crying hysterically with me one day, knowing Carter had been stung several times by wasps in the backyard, only seconds before Carter's wailing was close enough to be heard. Just like they knew when the other had a bad dream before the other saidanything, or how they knew when the other was happy or near to tears.

"Well, you're going to stick by my side for a while. No playing, just stick with me."

"But Mo?—"

"No," I said, leaning in closer. "You could seriously hurt someone doing stuff like that. If you were upset about your brother, you should have said something to me. So now you're going to think about what you could have done instead, rather than playing. No arguing."

He seemed fully prepared to continue the argument, but all the air went out of his sails, and he dropped his eyes to the ground. I leaned forward, kissed him on the forehead, and took his hand in mine so he could come and sit next to Connor and Devin. Being near his brother would calm him down and probably make him think a lot more than he would if he were by me on his own. That same weird 'knowing' they had between one another also had other effects. Being near Connor made Carter gentler and more thoughtful, and being near Carter made Connor bolder and more adventurous.

Devin smiled. “He just knew, huh?"

"Don't they always?" I asked with a weary sigh as Connor leaned in and said something quietly to Carter.

The corners of Devin’s eyes wrinkled as he smiled, and I couldn't help but remember a night almost fourteen years ago. When he'd stood under the open sky, the night clear, and the stars bright because someone, we'd always suspected it was Trevor, had arranged to have the lights downtown turned off at nine so the light pollution would be minimal. He'd stood there, eyes swimming with tears, as he and Chase had sworn their love and devotion to one another for the remainder of their lives.

There had barely been a dry eye in the small crowdassembled to watch their wedding. Even I could feel myself overwhelmed by it, and now I remembered something I'd thought at the time and had told no one.

"You had stars in your tears," I said, feeling my face warm when Devin looked at me in confusion.

"When you said your vows," I said, explaining myself before I sounded any more weird. "I remembered swearing I could see starlight reflected in them...or moonlight."

"Oh," he said, confused still but smiling. It was a smile I had seen so much since that night under the stars, as if the weight of the world steadily dropped from his shoulders and left him free to be happy and clearheaded. "Funny, Chase said something similar once."

"Oh?"

"Something for him and I to share."

At that time, I could only nod and hope that one day, I might be able to discover something like that in my life. Honestly, with all of the love stories that surrounded me, it would be easy enough to feel like I was missing out and going to keep missing out. Yet at the same time, two pairs of former best friends didn't find love with one another until later in life, others who met when they too probably thought the game was up for them, and two who met each other and chose a life together despite their differences, even in their ages.

So, I also had plenty of reasons to keep seeing if things might work out for me one day.

I looked up and felt my chest ease as two familiar faces walked off the nearby path to join us. Kyle was still handsome. I'd always thought so, even though he considered himself plain and average-looking. He still refused to lose his hair color and had been dyeing it, but that didn't matter to me. The familiar curve of his smile was what I liked about him. Then there was my father, older, maybe wiser, and stillas tall and strong as I remember him being from my earliest memories.

Because it had always been him I remembered the most. Sometimes, I remembered my mother, but those were usually harsh memories, surrounded by jagged edges that could catch you if you weren't careful. There was one where she’d sung to me in Spanish, and in that memory, I knew she'd done it several times before, but I didn't remember those. In a time when I thought my mom could be a little scary sometimes, but not really.

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