Page 16 of Hearts of Fairlake

"Plus," he muttered. "I've seen your bank account. If we end up poor at some point in the near future, we've been screwing up."

I let out a laugh. "True. Our incomes are enough to sustain us without having to dip into that money heavily. Just...vacations, some treats here and there."

"No treat should costthatmuch," he said, and I could hear the wryness in his voice. The first time he'd seen my savings account, I thought he was going to have a stroke. To be fair, I kept how much money I truly had a secret from everyone else. No one needed to know just how much money I had because money made people...weird. Well, and it would have led to a lot of awkward questions about why someone was sending me so much money a month and trying to explain that I'd made a deal with my father not to talk in exchange for hush money.

At least it wasn't outright blackmail, not in the legal sense, anyway.

"I don't know," I said with a sigh. "Honestly, I don't care about losing the money much either, and not even because we have more than enough. It would be the last tie I could finally cut to my family, and I'd no longer be bound to them."

Julian paused before he gave a soft, “Oh."

To the untrained ear, it sounded like my husband was understanding, or perhaps at worst, acknowledging that he heard me and was waiting for me to follow up with whatever else was on my mind. The thing was, I wasn't just anyone, and I’d become incredibly adept at reading between the lines, both what he said and what he didn't say. This wasn't just a simple 'Oh, I understand you.' This was an 'Oh, I just understood something that either you didn't say or didn't realize yourself.'

"Oh?" I asked, turning a little to stare at him. "What?"

My suspicions were confirmed when I watched a complicated mix of worry, embarrassment, and concern wash over his face. Whatever he was thinking was something he wasn't sure he should say. I had to admit that no matter how muchprogress someone made to get over their demons, some things stuck with the tenacity of burrs in thick, curly hair. Sometimes, it didn't matter that he’d learned he could be open and honest with me. The years of learning the hard way that he should keep most of his opinions to himself were deeply ingrained.

"Just say it," I told him softly, narrowing my eyes. "Because it sounds like whatever's in your head is a big deal."

"I mean...maybe."

"Julian, hey...it's me, remember?"

"I know, but when it comes to your family?—"

"I'm no happier talking about them than you are about yours. That doesn't mean we should avoid the topics altogether. We have to be willing to talk about this kind of shit, remember?"

I could still see the war on his face, but there were little tells that I was getting through to him. It was in the way his brow stopped furrowing and even eased a little; his jaw didn't tighten to the point that I could see the muscles working, and his fingers resumed their soothing motions into my muscles. The corner of his mouth curled upward. "You're so patient."

I scoffed, turning my head to plant it back into the pillow now I assumed we’d made it past that hurdle. "Have you met me? I'm impatient as hell."

"Not with me."

"I can be."

"Sometimes. But that's not how youare."

I smiled into the pillow. "You know, I've said it before, and I'll say it again. You might think you're bad with words, but you're better at them than you think. Use those skills to tell me what popped into your head a moment ago."

His fingers tensed for a moment before going back to the massage. "Maybe...you're afraid to cut that last tie?"

If anyone else had said it, I would have denied it immediately and angrily. Considering it was Julian, though, I kept my knee-jerk reaction contained and reminded myself that not only had I asked him to speak the truth, but it wasn't the kind of thing that was easy for him to say. Instead, I took a moment before asking softly. “What do you mean?"

"I mean...letting go of your family isn't easy. I would know. But you...you were forced to let go. You helped mechooseto start letting mine go...your family found out about you and gave you a choice...that wasn't a choice."

"No," I admitted slowly. "It wasn't much of a choice. I'll give you that."

"And you probably didn't mean it that way, but the deal you made still gave you a connection...and you kept your last name."

"So?"

"It's like..." I could tell from his tone that he was struggling to convey what he meant, but I stayed quiet, letting him find the words on his own. Sometimes, I could fill in the blank, and other times, like now, I had to wait until he managed to paint the picture for me. "Do you remember...when I got hurt?"

I thought about it for a minute. "Wait, back when you got hurt because you followed me into the house?"

"Yeah."

"Well, sweetheart, it's ever so slightly difficult to forget I was saved by the man who would become my husband one day."

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