Page 45 of Hearts of Fairlake

"You're a sentimental dork for getting that picture," I told the man lying face down on the bed. "How did you even manage to hunt it down?"

"Ethan," he said, and I grunted, realizing I should have known.

"My grandmother would probably get a kick out of it if she knew why I liked it," I said with a smile, sitting on the edge of the bed and watching him. "Of course, at the end of her life, she was the kind of person to say it was fitting a fairy would see fairies."

There was a pause before he snorted. “This was the same grandma that once told you after you hurt yourself that ifyou weren't going to be smart, you better sure as hell be tough?"

"That's the one. She also liked to tell me that trouble is sleeping, so why wake it up? Smart woman."

"She sounds likeyou."

I opened my mouth and frowned as I realized what he was saying. Grandma Katherine had been sharp-tongued, sometimes to the point of being brutally mean, but she wasn't one to be bothered by something like that, especially if she thought she was telling someone something she thought they needed to hear. She didn't have much patience, especially for people she considered fools, and she was never one for making a big fuss about anything until you got on the bad side of her admittedly short temper.

"Oh Jesus, she's looking up from hell and cackling right now," I said with a sigh.

Devin rolled over, and I was relieved to see his eyes were completely dry. There'd been a few times in the past where, after we'd argued pretty heatedly, I’d found him with a watery glaze to his eyes that wasn't normally there. If there was a way to make me realize how much of an absolute bastard I was sometimes, that had done the trick.

"Hell?" he asked warily.

"She always used to tell people she had a reserved seat," I said with a shrug. "She never said she was a nice person, but fuck, she was still better than my parents."

"That's not all that hard to do," he said, pushing himself upright and staring at me. "I shouldn't have said you were the most insensitive creature to walk the Earth."

"You said Icanbe," I told him with a little smile. "And if you're not allowed to say that, I need to know what other truths we're not allowed to say."

Devin snorted, staring into his lap. "Sometimes I just...don't know how you do it."

"Do what?"

"Go through life without constantly wondering about everything that's happened to us. Worrying about when you're going to fuck up or when something's going to come around the corner and make the other shoe drop. You...move on like it's nothing, and it confuses me and pisses me off sometimes. I just...don't get how you can do it so easily."

"Remember when you said I was dense with severe memory problems that I should get checked out?"

"I was pissed at you."

"I have that effect on people."

"Chase."

I smiled, signaling that I was going to behave myself, before reaching out to take his hand. "Idoworry about those things...all the time. But I don't want those things to get in the way of what I have with you. How long did I obsess over everything that went wrong in my life? I ended up an alcoholic with a death wish until Bennett came along and showed a rare moment of intelligence and saved my ass."

"I love how you can openly express how much you love me and how much you care about, like, Ayla and the other kids, but the minute it's Bennett, you become this crotchety old man who shakes his fists angrily at the damn kids on his lawn."

"Because I do love you, and you're the smartest, strongest, most hardheaded person I know. The kids are kids, and Ayla, smart as she is, is a teenager. They're allowed to be stupid because they can't help it. Bennett is a full-grown man whochoosesto be an idiot."

"You do realize every time you talk to him like that, he just hears 'I love you, Bennett' and moves on with his life, right?"

"You were listening when I said he chooses to be an idiot, right?"

Devin chuckled softly, turning around so he could flop and put his head in my lap while he gazed up at me. "Sometimes I still wonder why you do that."

"You're being vague again. Sometimes, I swear you just want to hear me ask the question."

"Well, ask."

I sighed, knowing there was no point trying to fight it when he would get his way anyway. "Why do I do what?"

"Throw up all this stuff in front of you, between you and others. Everyone knows you care about Bennett. I mean shit, he saved your life twice, so he clearly cares about you...though he's more willing to show it openly."

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