Page 74 of Hearts of Fairlake

"Yes. You're good at talking, and without writing everything down beforehand. Maybe have a few bullet points you want to make sure you talk about while you're up there, and then go from there. I think it would be better if you just spoke from the heart anyway."

"Well, it's not like doing that can be any worse than the crap I wrote down," Isaiah said, patting the pocket where his phone was. "And I'm kind of hoping this is like how it was in school."

"What do you mean?"

"Whenever I had to do some presentation or whatever at school, I'd be nervous as hell leading up to it even though I knew what I was talking about and had done presentations without a problem. It happened every time without fail. Yet the minute I got up in front of everyone to say what I needed to say, all that nervousness would disappear. I'd wonder what I was so freaked out about and then do my presentation."

"Anticipation."

"Hmm, yeah, I guess that's it. The anticipation would get the better of me, not really the nerves. Just hoping that happens with this too because fuck, I'm nervous."

I chuckled, reaching down to pull him close and kiss the top of his head. "Well, I think you're going to do great. And I'm going to be right there with you."

"Speaking of," he said, peering up at me warmly. "I know it's a big deal for me, but it’s an even bigger deal for you,going up there to stand in front of all those people. And I wanted to say that I really appreciate it."

"Well, yeah, of course," I told him as quickly as I could. Speaking still didn't come to me easily, although speaking to Isaiah was much easier than speaking to anyone else. I still didn't talk very quickly, even to people I was comfortable around. The good thing was people like Isaiah and our friends didn't expect me to speak quickly, and weren't bothered if sometimes I didn't say much or took a long time to reply. "You deserve to have someone up there to support you."

"And you," he said, reaching to cup my face, "deserve to be reminded that someone is thankful for your help and what you do. Remember, this isn't a take-take sort of thing."

I smiled, reaching up to lay my hand over his and gently squeeze his fingers. "I know. You've reminded me enough."

"True," he said with a laugh. "Probably more than you'd like sometimes, but...it's a good lesson to remember. So I'll have to keep reminding you."

"I'm okay with that," I told him because even if I did sometimes get a little exasperated that he kept making the same point, I knew it came from a place of concern and, of course, love. He’d seen the damage my family had done to me and knew all too well how deeply those wounds ran and how slowly the scars took to heal. Even when he sounded repetitive and irritating, it was because he had it in his head that I wasn't keeping the lesson in mind and wanted to make sure I would never forget.

I wish it were as easy as promising I’d never make the same mistakes I had in the past, and I could and would mean it completely at the time of saying it. But I knew full well that promises like that were made to be broken, and life had a way of making liars out of the most honest, well-meaning people. The best I could do was promise I’d try to rememberand be the person he believed me to be every day. It was hard work, but on days like today, it was remarkably easy to keep in mind.

He smiled. “Alright, we should probably get to the stage. It's getting close to time for me to do this."

I chuckled softly. “I'm surprised the mayor hasn't been blowing up your phone. He's been really interested in the kind of speech you’re gonna make. I think it was driving him crazy that you wouldn't tell him."

"Yeah, well, maybe don't ask me to do a speech then try to peer over it like I'm going to get up there and talk about how I like to have my big, sexy husband rail me or something," Isaiah said, with a roll of his eyes.

"I don't think that's what he was worried about," I said, feeling my face warm. Not because he was being crude, that was just hot. It was the fact that we were in public. Okay, it was away from other people. They were starting to congregate elsewhere, but it was still public. I might have made a lot of progress when it came to being more open and honest about our relationship, but that didn't mean I was ready to talk crudely about our sex life. "He just?—"

"Wants the festival to be perfect, I know," Isaiah said. "But the guy's old enough to know better. Nothing is going to be perfect. Plus, if he wanted someone to give the exact speech he’d make, then he shouldn't have asked me. That's why I've ignored his texts and put my phone on silent earlier."

"Oh," I said, realizing that was why we hadn't heard it ring with the mayor desperately trying to get ahold of him. "Then we should probably go."

"Yeah, the only thing that would get to Fred more than me not showing up on time would be if he ruined his own festival by having a stroke in front of everyone. That could almost be funny, actually."

"Unless Kyle had to treat him, then he’d blame you for making his day worse by having to save the mayor."

"Mmm, good point. I don't want to risk having Kyle pissed off at me, though he does owe me for stealing my snacks."

"I don't think those two things are equal."

"Those aremysnacks!"

I chuckled, reaching to take his hand and instinctively running my finger over the wedding band. It was practical, a band of silver dotted with small, colorful gems that he liked to spin around his finger when he was thinking. Neither of us had wanted something that cost a down payment on a house, especially with the jobs we had, which would inevitably damage them, even if we didn't wear them when we went out on call just to be safe.

It was strange to think how comfortable it was to feel that ring and know I’d first put it on his hand after we’d made our vows. His were eloquent and full of all the life, love, and warmth he was filled with. Mine had been awkward, slow, and carefully read from a card I’d painstakingly worked on, knowing I wouldn't be able to express what he and our marriage meant to me. It was probably just the heat of the moment, but I liked to think maybe I had some effect because Isaiah could barely hold back the tears when I'd finished.

In the end, though, I’d managed to get through it without choking, and the marriage had been sealed...at least symbolically, we'd taken care of the paperwork long before we'd walked into the firehouse for our wedding. The choice of venue had been obvious, but not without its pitfalls. No sooner had we sat down to eat than the alarms signaled someone needed to go out. Thankfully, the chief had thought ahead and allowed the guys on shift to attend the wedding, ready to go just in case. They'd missed the cakebeing cut, but we'd made sure to have plates ready when they came back.

We'd only invited a handful of people, so it had been a quiet, intimate sort of thing that had carried into the night before we'd finally been given a ride back to his...ourhouse. The honeymoon lasted two weeks, and Isaiah found a cabin in the woods where it was just the two of us. It was isolated enough that we didn't have to worry about random people stopping by, but still close enough to a nearby town that we could stop in for supplies or a quick bite to eat if we were feeling lazy.

All of it had been a perfect example of my life with him up until that point and a good sign of things to come. We weren't without our problems, like every couple, I suppose, but we always managed to find a way through them and remind ourselves that we loved each other. Sometimes, he needed help, like today, and other times it was me. Each day that passed felt more and more like we were partners rather than just boyfriends or husbands, but something that was all those things and more.

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