Adam stares at me for long seconds, the sound of his heartbeat loud and thumping in my head as he tries to decide if he's willing to do this. If he's willing to let me do this.
There's a lot he isn't scared of. A lot that doesn't set off his self-preservation instincts. Losing me and putting me in danger all bring him to the peak of fear, and I don't even think he realizes it. He's probably thinking he's just really, really angry. He can't see that that's fear and won't allow himself to go there.
"Anything," Adam says, the word rough and strained as he forces it out. I clap him on the shoulder and grab one of thecollars. If we're going to do this, I need to get him desensitized to the idea.
"You know the game plan?" I double-check with Adam as he looks at himself in the mirror.
He's preening. I don't even know if he registers that's what he's doing, but I've never once seen him mess with his hair as much as he is right now. It's not even long enough to do anything other than just be there, so I don't know what he thinks he's doing to it. I have to force myself not to mention it because I might scare him into not leaving the bedroom.
"Ixor and his crew will be here in about an hour to transport us to Haven III. Before that happens, we have to ask to be Essa's concubines so we can go with her to keep her safe. Then we do just that," Adam says, nodding at himself in the mirror before turning to face me.
I'm holding both collars we stole from Essa's room. Over the last two days, I've been making Adam touch them. Yesterday, he went to the bathroom and put it on for a little while. He didn't let me see it on him, but I praised him in his mind, hoping he understood that I knew it was hard for him, but I was proud he was trying.
When he saw me put mine on last night to see his reaction, he might have freaked out more than either of us would've liked. That's going to be the hardest part for him. I'm hoping when he sees that we're not in any pain and that no one is going to hurt us, he'll be able to calm down.
"Phial promised to have Essa in the entertainment room for us," I say, looking at the time on our comm screen.
If he's a man of his word, she'll be in there now, which means we need to head that way soon. Essa still needs to bite me. I'm hoping the effects won't last as long as they do with Adam. If we're going to Haven III, I don't want to be drugged when we get there.
"Okay." Adam brushes his hands down the thighs of his jeans and motions for us to head out.
I let him lead, knowing this is harder for him than me, mainly due to the collars. He'll be fine. I know he will, so long as no one brings up that he's scared of the collars. If that happens, he might try to overcompensate his fear by doubling down with anger.
The chains that connect to the rings at the front of each leather collar clink softly in my hand, and I try to quiet the sound as we walk. I'm not nearly as worried about putting the collar on as I should be. Maybe it's residual trauma from having the metal collars, or perhaps I can separate them easily enough to know these leather collars are nothing like the suffocating metal collars that demanded submission.
"I'm leaving, Phial." Essa's voice is loud on the other side of the entertainment room doors. "I need to find transport to Haven III because you can't drop me off there. I can't risk the ship being detained and all of you along with it."
"Just one more moment," Phial says.
I'd love to hear his excuse for needing her to wait with him, but this is important, and we should get it done. Essa doesn't need to worry about finding transport to Haven III because Adam and I have already secured it.
Sure, we might've used our favor up with the space pirates. If this all goes south, we'll need to find a new way to get somewhere where we'll never be found out to be clones, but the more pressing issue is getting Essa's sister away from a marriageshe doesn't want. Not to mention making sure Essa doesn't do something stupid like marrying the male herself.
Adam squares his shoulders as he walks through the entertainment room door. He wears a hard look on his face, but his heart and his breathing betray him. The sooner we put a collar on him, the sooner he can get used to it and see that it's not the same as the one the scientists put on us.
"What are you—?" Essa's question cuts off when I follow in behind Adam, with the collars in my hands and a half smile on my lips as she takes in what exactly is about to happen.
"I can leave now, yes?" Phial asks, not waiting for an answer before scurrying out of the entertainment room.
That's fine. We don't need him for what's about to happen, and we've already gotten approval from the rest of the crew. Not that we need it because we're going to do this with or without their approval. It does make everything easier if we're all working toward the same common goal.
"What are you two doing?" Essa manages to get the question out this time, her yellow eyes bright as they track between the two of us rapidly, as if this is all some kind of joke we're playing on her.
"We need to ask you a question," I say, letting the smile grow on my lips at the teasing.
Adam huffs beside me, not liking that anyone gets any of my flirting other than him. He'll be fine once everything's settled, but he's more jealous than anything else right now, which works out since it's overriding his worry about wearing the collar.
Essa shakes her head, not registering or letting herself get too hopeful about the question we need to ask. "Where did you get those? They're mine."
"Pretty sure we want them to be ours, Essa," I tell her, taking another step toward her. I offer Adam one of the collars as I step around him, and he takes it with a scowl.
"I don't understand." Essa's voice is barely a whisper as she stops herself from reaching out to me.
I take a few more steps until I'm right in front of her, and her tail moves to lash around my ankle before she can stop it. It causes my smile to grow and her emotions to become even more tumultuous. She really doesn't understand what we're doing right now, and it'd be cute if it didn't make me hate whoever made her think she doesn't deserve the things she wants.
I kneel and look up at Essa, waiting for her to run her fingers through my hair. According to our research, there's a specific process involved in being accepted as a Haventh concubine. Essa doesn't make me wait long before her slender golden fingers run through my curls. She has one more finger than us, which is startling, but makes for even more head scratches. She grabs the strands toward the crown of my head, giving them a soft, reassuring squeeze.
"What do you wish of me?" She murmurs the question so easily that I wonder if she wants this as badly as we do.