Page 62 of Essa

"We spent the next little while talking in our head. Adam thought he was losing his mind, but he was so dead inside that he talked to me. It wasn't for a couple more weeks before we met face to face in one of what we called the interrogation rooms that he finally realized I was real," Seth says it all with a softness that betrays the horrors of what they went through. "We weren't together back then. If anything, we clung to one another as brothers who wanted to survive what was happening to us. He went through his experiments. I had to listen to everything they did to him."

"But they did free you both," I say, reaching over to squeeze Seth's arm to remind him that whatever suffering the originalswent through, they were eventually freed. "You both survived it and moved on with your lives, I assume."

Seth gives me a sad little smile. "I assume as well, but we don't know for certain. I've wanted to look it up, to search databases and records to learn if I lived a long, happy life after what happened to me. I know Adam wants to do the same, even if he'd never admit it. I'm just scared of what I'll find. What I went through wasn't nearly as bad as what Adam went through, but he had people on the other side. He had a family and a support system."

Seth's words trail off, and he doesn't need to explain more for me to understand his unspoken words. Without the crew, I don't know where I'd be in the universe. As far as most species are concerned, I was still a child when I applied for my first crew—a female child at that.

I'm lucky the first crew I worked for was good and that two Varons accepted me easily and offered protection without asking anything of me. No, I don't want to think of what might've happened to me if Jovi wasn't the first person I befriended after running away.

"And what about when you were created?" I ask, hoping to remind Seth that he isn't his clone, even if they share the same memories up to a certain point. "Were you and Adam able to bond quicker?"

Seth lets out a choked laugh at the question, "You could say that, yeah."

I study his expression, the flush in his cheeks, the way he refuses to meet my eyes now. Interesting.

"Tell me about it."

Seth rolls his lips together before licking them and finally opening his mouth to speak. "Look, I had a thing for Adam the entire time, but I was good about keeping it to myself. At least, I think I was. Original Adam never said anything about my crushif he knew, and it's not like we were ever left alone back then for anything to happen. I do know he didn't feel the same for me. Even if he did, he was devoted to his wife."

"You loved your male before he was yours. I understand those feelings," I say before thinking through how open this statement makes me. I haven't told either male I love them yet, and here I am, telling Seth that I understand his yearning for someone else's mate.

"Which of us?" he asks, his voice rougher as he leans over Adam and asks the question against my parted lips. "Which one of us did you crave even though we belonged to each other?"

I swallow hard. The answer should be obvious, given how Adam and I started our relationship, but maybe Seth needs to know that he wasn't the only one with what were thought to be unrequited feelings.

"You," I whisper so small that the word is barely audible. "I wanted you first."

Seth smiles, his lips brushing mine for a moment before pulling away. There's another growl rumbling in the air, but it isn't me this time. Oh no, it's a furious male squished between Seth and me as we slowly part.

"The fuck are you two doing?" Adam asks, his voice raw as if there are emotions inside him that he's forcing to be covered by his anger. I'm almost positive he covers all the feelings he wishes not to deal with or to show with rage.

"Essa was asking how we felt about one another after our creation," Seth says with humor in his words. He's not scared of Adam. I don't think he's ever been scared of him. Their bond is strong, and I hope it's as strong with me one day.

"Did you tell her you dropped to your knees the first moment we had alone?" Adam asks, pushing himself up so he's no longer lying between us but sitting beside us. He faces Seth long enough to watch his face turn a pretty shade of scarlet before lookingat me. "My memories weren't even fully in place yet, and this overeager man was between my legs sucking me down."

I squeeze my thighs together at the thought of Seth so eager to be with Adam that his way of greeting him is to take him in his mouth. Adam's lips kick up in the corners as he watches my reaction.

"I'm assuming you enjoyed it?" I ask, my voice hoarse as I try to hide how badly I wish to see Seth's devotion to his male.

"I did," Adam says.

He wraps his fingers in Seth's curls before bringing their mouths together in a kiss. Adam devours Seth, his dominating kisses meeting no resistance as Seth allows him to take and take. When he pulls away, Seth's pupils are blown out, and his lips are swollen.

Adam tugs the blanket away from his groin before urging Seth down. "When I wake from my nightmares, he always takes care of me."

Seth's lips wrap around Adam's engorged cock, the angry red tip sliding into his mouth, coming back out slick with spit before he repeats the process. I run my fingers through Seth's hair, urging him to take our male deeper, and Adam lets out a groan that sounds much more pleasured than the ones he was letting out in his dreams.

"Next nightmare, I want you on my cock, sweetheart," Adam murmurs, his fingers playing with the ends of my hair as he lets me guide the rhythm and depth of Seth's mouth. "Fuck, I want both of you."

"You'll need more cocks if you're to have everything you want," I tease, flicking my gaze over to him in time to see the smile on his lips before he can hide it with his usual scowl. How a male can have himself lodged down his mate's throat and still scowl is a mystery to me, but that's Adam.

"I have enough cock. You two just need to share," Adam says lazily as he tugs on the ends of my hair until I turn to face him fully.

When he kisses me, I don't submit like Seth does. No, our kissing is a fight, just as is our relationship. A fight for dominance, a fight to show the other which of us can care for the others the best, a fight to prove our devotion. It only stops when I nip at his lower lips with my fangs, drawing blood. I drained them before bed, but they're still sharp.

Adam's hips jerk upward, and Seth gags once before settling into his new position. It's amazing to watch Adam's abdominals squeeze, his hips thrust eagerly, and his eyes close in euphoria as he finds his release inside Seth's mouth.

I'm jealous of them both in equal measure, but my jealousy lasts only a moment because Seth is crawling between my legs next, his hands wrapping around my waist as he tugs me down enough to bury his face between my legs. Adam's there, his hand guiding Seth this time, and his lips are back on mine.

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