Page 22 of Essa

She watches my face to catch my reaction, and I don't even try to hide it. Sloane's my best friend. I would never hide anything from her. Okay, maybe I'm hiding feelings about two clones from her, but only because she hasn't asked.

My face screws up at the thought of having a pleasure crew. If I'd been told a couple of weeks ago, I'd be more than excited, but now? Now, I know there are two males I'd very much like to spend more time with, and neither of them is pleasure crew.

"Don't worry." Sloane giggles to herself as she smiles at me. "They canceled their plan after movie night."

I nod, giving her an approving huff. She watches me for another moment, her eyes sparkling with too much mischief, considering it's the middle of the night and she was woken from her slumber not long ago.

"Do you like them both or just one of them?"

I fight the rush of blood in my face, thanking the gods that my skin doesn't work the same as Sloane's to show my embarrassment right there on my face. That would bemortifying. I don't know how humans didn't evolve past it at some point. She still catches how I dart my eyes away from her, how my fingers twitch on the countertop, and how my tail tightens before relaxing again. Oh, she most definitely knows she's embarrassed me.

I swallow hard, trying to figure out the most diplomatic way to approach this conversation. I should be good at this since I was raised for the first half of my life to one day take over as ruler of the Bylath house. I was never the one good with words, though. No, that was all Niivi, my sister.

"They'll be leaving the ship soon." I skirt around having to answer Sloane's question in what I know is a cowardly way.

"Uh-huh." Sloane's unimpressed with my answer, and of course she is. We tell each other everything, so I know she's waiting for me to open up to her. And the way the silence in the room starts to feel heavy on my shoulders, her knowing blue eyes watching me, studying me, I crack in less than a minute.

"I want to claim them both as concubines and live with them for the rest of my life here on the ship, all together always, but they already have one another, and they enjoy one another, and I don't think I'm anything more than passing entertainment until they leave this ship to never think of me ever again."

The room quiets again as I take a deep breath. I spoke all my worries so fast that I'm not even sure Sloane picked up on everything. When I look at her, though, she's looking at me with wide eyes and a hard coldness that could rival Jovi and Alik when they get upset. I cringe, unsure if she's upset with me or the men.

"You are more than anyone's passing entertainment," Sloane tells me in a voice just above a whisper. The words are said with so much conviction that I feel bad for talking about myself in such a way. This is why Sloane is such a good friend. If she caresabout someone, she thinks they deserve the universe, and she would help them get it if that's what they want.

"I know, I know, but they have a whole life they've already built with one another, and I'm a female, so very different than them. I mean, we don't even have the same number of fingers."

"Null point. Phial only has four, and he and Avery get along just fine."

I rub the back of my neck and snort at Sloane's quick dismissal of my first point. "I've never felt this strongly, but it doesn't mean I can keep them for myself. They have plans. Plans that don't involve me. I won't ruin that for them. Unless they come to me, asking to be with me, I won't push the issue. I don't want to cause problems between them."

"How do you know it'll cause issues between them?"

"Because Adam hates me," I sigh.

It's hard to come to terms with the fact that someone who might enjoy what I can do for him might also hate that he responds to me the way he does. Not to mention the way Adam hates when Seth even looks at me.

I've heard them in the pleasure crew room with one another. I've heard the things Adam says to Seth about me, how he talks while he's bringing the other man pleasure and taking his with Seth's body. Even if he likes how he responds to my venom, he doesn't like me in general, and I'm not sure how to get past that.

"He doesn't hate you," Sloane says, waving away the concern with a flick of her wrist.

I frown at the dismissal but lean closer to her, needing her to tell me why she thinks he doesn't. I've never needed to know something more in my entire life.

"Why do you say that? Has he said something to you?"

Sloane snorts as she grabs my shoulders and gives me a little shake. "No one could hate you, Essa. You're the best femaleanyone could ask for. I'm pretty sure you'd do anything to keep this crew safe, and you're an absolute hottie."

While I do beam at her praise, it doesn't really answer my question. I'm about to point this out when Sloane leans in even closer. Her blue eyes pierce me, and her smile takes on a devilish quality.

"And he's been out in the hall since you came in here trying to talk himself into coming in. Probably to fight you so you'll bite him again, but I don't think that's the actions of a man who hates you."

"He might want to fight me so he doesn't hate me?" I throw my hands up, unbelieving that this is the proof she has to give me about Adam not hating me.

I shake my head, not letting my eyes linger on the kitchen doors. Who's to know if he's still out there or if he thought better of trying to fight me with Sloane in here?

"I sent him back to his room," Sloane says, leaning away from me. "I told him if he likes you, he needs to come up with a better way of showing it. That earned me a snarl."

My tail tightens on her. Maybe I'll go visit with Adam for just a moment tonight to tell him he's not allowed to be mean to my human friend.

"Don't worry, his snarls are nothing compared to Alik's. I told him we were having girls' night, so if he wanted to get bit, it'd have to wait for a different night."

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