Page 24 of Essa

"I love you too," I say through a mouthful of donut.

I follow her out of the kitchen, my tail wrapped around her ankle and a sadness in my chest. Things will return to normal when Adam and Seth are off the ship. I just can't let myself grow more attached to them. I can do that. I can remain friendly but detached.

I drop Sloane off at her room before heading back to mine. The hallways are dark, and she can't see as well in the dark as I can. I also like making sure my friend is safe.

I remind myself over and over again that I will not fall more for the human clones as I go back to my room, but all of those thoughts are dashed away when I see Adam leaning against the hall wall. His eyes are narrowed on my face before they travel down the length of my body, causing warmth to flood me. My fangs ache and elongate, pulsing with venom at the thought of getting to sink into him again. His nostrils flare when his eyes meet mine again, but he doesn't say anything. No, he frowns at me before opening the door to his room and returning inside.

A piece of my heart shatters at the reaction, and I try to hold onto that feeling. It'll only be worse when they finally leave. It's my reminder not to get attached. I need to be aloof yet friendly. And I definitely don't need to bite Adam again.

That thought has more of my heart breaking, but that's okay. I can start the breaking process now, so I'm mostly healed when Sloane gets a male to warm my bed. Maybe by then, the idea won't make me nauseous.

nine

Adam

I'm not leaving this room ever again. Every time I do, I make piss poor decisions. The most egregious of which is that I have Essa bite me. And I don't even do it in a normal way. No, that'd be too easy. Proper communication skills. Who needs those when I can try to punch Essa to get her to sink those pretty white fangs deep into my shoulder?

Even sitting on the bed now, thinking about it, has my cock stiffening in my pants. Not to mention just how much touching she and Seth did four nights ago. I keep replaying those memories over and over again in my mind, wanting to know how far they would've gone if Essa didn't get upset because she heard a noise.

"You still moping?" Seth asks me as he comes out of the bathroom, bright curls damp from the shower and face pink from the steam.

"I'm not moping," I grumble, turning away from him.

I am one thousand percent moping, but he would be, too, if he learned that he was really kind of into getting drugged with some weird alien venom that relaxes him and being called a good boy while being taken care of. It doesn't fit me at all. I take care of others. I protect others. What I don't do—or shouldn't do—is get high off alien venom and almost come in my pants from being told how good I am. It's pathetic. It's also the only thing on my mind recently.

"You know some of us are actually getting along real well with the others on the crew," Seth says, dropping the towel from around his waist with a loud thump as it hits the floor.

He wants me to turn around and wants to get my attention by alerting me that he's naked and ripe for my picking. It's scary how easily he can read me, but then again, he was experimented on to pick up on body language and emotional cues. Fucker's probably listening in on my thoughts, too. I've been bad about keeping my mind open to him recently.

I fight the urge to turn around, not wanting to give him the satisfaction of getting me to ogle him while I'm hard, thinking about fangs and venom and being called a good boy. At least he hasn't said anything about that except for the morning after the first time Essa drugged me. He called me a good boy right before I came, and I almost murdered him because I came way harder than ever before.

"Don't get too attached," I say, trying to sound gruff and uninterested even though I'm more than interested now.

Essa's wormed her way into Seth's heart, and I should hate her for it. Anytime I try to, I think about how they both touched me, how they both wanted to have me, take me, and care for me. I don't know what to do with the feelings. I'm not supposed to have any strong feelings toward anyone but Seth because he was bonded to me during our experiments. But Essa is wiggling herway into this, and I don't know what to do about it. Especially since it's not like we'll be able to be with her permanently.

I was going to pick a fight with her last night after she got done talking with Sloane. But when I saw her, sadness leeching into her features, a defeated slump in her shoulders, I couldn't pick another fight with her. I might be a god awful male, but I still know not to kick a female when she's down.

Okay, maybe I would've if this had been a few days earlier, but something in her face made my cold, dead heart ache. I couldn't very well swing at her when she looked like she might be on the verge of tears. So, I came back into the room, undrugged, and curled up with Seth in the bed.

"Am I the one who needs to worry about getting attached?" Seth asks, moving into my line of sight now that he has a pair of jeans pulled up. He buttons them, hiding that patch of red hair from me just as quickly as he gives me a glimpse. He's being a tease right now, and I know it's because he wants something.

"Yeah, you're the one who needs to worry about it," I snap, sounding more petty and irritable than I want. He's going to see through me.

"Alright, well, since I'm not the one who's getting too attached for his own good, I'm going to the kitchen to see if Essa's there. If she's not, I'm going to search for her on the ship and see if she wants to hang out. Since you're not attached or anything, I'm sure you won't care."

I grip my knees so hard my knuckles turn white, and my glare is hard as I stare at Seth. He knows how to play me perfectly.

"I don't care at all." I sound like someone who cares way too much.

Seth smiles before leaving the bedroom, not even bothering to wear a shirt. I stare at the dimples on his lower back, wanting to pull him back into the room, maybe press my thumbs into thosedimples as I ride him. I let out a slow exhale as I force myself to sit right on the edge of the bed.

I will not chase after him. I will not try to fight Essa again. I will remain right here until the pirates come to get us and give us our new identities.

The more I get used to losing myself in Essa's venom, the harder it'll be to leave. I already have sick thoughts like asking her to join our relationship and maybe see if we can work something out between the three of us.

Nope, no way am I going to let that happen. I can't. My goal is to keep Seth safe, and I do that by not getting attached to Essa and by getting us new identities on a new planet that won't care about our backgrounds being erased.

Entertainment room now!Seth's voice rings in my head, and I shoot from the bed.

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