Page 4 of Defender

“Well, we can still work on the roses together. I still want to know you. I need updates on your photography book. Did you get the shots you wanted developed last night?”

My chest tightens as I wait for her response. There’s a big part of me that thinks she might just cut and run, and I don’t blame her.

“Why do you want to hang out? You were on that dating site to find companionship, not to babysit.” She drags in a deep breath and lets it out slowly. “Sorry, that was rude. I’m… I know you’re too old for me. I just… you’re the first guy I’ve talked to in a long while that’s actually listened to me. I’m going to miss that.”

“And you’re the first woman I’ve met in twenty years that listened to me talk and didn’t try to shut me down. I’m going to miss that too, but you don’t have to stop talking to me. I like our conversations. Hell, I meant it when I said they make my day.”

Staring down, she bites back a grin. “I don’t want to get attached to someone I can’t have.”

“Yeah.” I say, kicking the dirt against my boot. Maybe this was a mistake. Maybe we should’ve tried an in-person datebefore pulling the plug. What’s age, anyway? It’s just a number…says every pervert ever.

“That makes sense. Just, ugh, don’t go messing with that ex again. He sounds like a real asshole.” We met a month after her last breakup, and though she didn’t want to talk about it, I convinced her to let go of some of the pain.

She scratches a perfectly manicured nail across her eyebrow as she smiles. “I think I can make that deal, as long as you promise to keep leaving your property at least once a week.” Her head tilts to the side. “Where do you live, anyway? People talk about Mrs. Robinson’s sons… how they left her here all alone. What’s up with that?”

I drag in a deep breath and scrub my hand over my beard. “I’m sure they do.”

“What does that mean?”

“It means small towns are fun like that. Everyone’s got somethin’ to say. I can’t speak for my brothers, but after my military time, I struggled to make sense of myself and life. I didn’t want to come back here and pretend everything was the same. I needed space.” I kick my boot against the dirt again, watching as the dust kicks up around it. “I know I should’ve been here for her, especially after my father died.” I feel a soft sigh leave my lips as I say, “Can I tell you something?”

“Of course,” she looks up at me with the same caring eyes I’ve relished every day for the past few months, “I’d love that.”

“I struggle to talk to my mom these days. Every ounce of me wants to give her everything and be there for her constantly, but I know that’s unreasonable from Wyoming. The fact I can’t be perfect at making her feel loved keeps me in this state of calling her twice a week and being sad that I’m not doing more. I think she can feel it on our calls.”

Her tone is soft as she says, “She doesn’t blame you. She knows you struggle. She actually talks about you all a lot. You’dthink I’d have known it was you, given how rare the name Gunner is, but it never crossed my mind. It’s crazy that we met online, but I was right here in your hometown, having tea with your mom regularly.” She twists a strand of dark brown hair around her finger. “Where are you in Wyoming?”

“After leaving the desert, I needed as much American wilderness as I could handle, so I built a cabin to the east of Yellowstone. I had to find that sweet spot where you’re close enough to enjoy the park but also far enough away from the tourists that you can feel settled.” I clear my throat. “I’m assuming you’re born and raised in Rugged Mountain, given that you have the town gossip down?” A soft breeze carries a helicopter seed between us.

“Yeah, my whole life. Rugged Mountain is in my blood. I don’t think I could ever leave. Hell, I don’t think my mom would let me. That short photography trip I took just about killed her.”

“How’d they turn out?”

She drags in a deep breath. “Some of them are great. I got this one shot of a barn up in Canada that was sort of crumbling down, but there was this cross on the front of it that stayed up and sort of shined in the sunlight. I think it’s going to be my favorite image in the book.” Her eyebrows raise and for a moment there’s more warmth in my body than there ever has been before. I love listening to her talk about photography. There’s a different light about her. A different cadence in her speech. A passion that I lose myself in. “What about you? You get any fishing in while you’re in town?”

“Not yet. It’s been crazy busy since I got here. Mom has a lot going on here at the house with the new playground project, and Officer Brooks, who I guess is also the town planner, is supposed to come by at some point to give us a list of things that need updating. I should be here for that. I hear he’s a pain in theass. I don’t want him giving Mom a hard time. Hopefully after that, I’ll get a pole in the water.”

I want to ask her to come along. I want to make time to spend with her. I want to memorize every detail of her face, her movements, her scent, so I have something to bring home with me, something to think about when the nights are lonely.

Jesus. I need to get a grip.

“Well,” she sighs and drags her hands down over her jeans before holding out her hand for a shake, “I should get this garden weeded out. It was great meeting you,finally.Good luck with everything. I really hope you settle down with someone nice. You deserve it.”

In all the years I’ve walked this Earth, my heart has never felt a crushing like this. My hand sinks into hers. She’s so soft and small. I don’t want to wish her onto anyone else. I want her.I need her, but what am I going to do?She’s too young, too innocent, too sweet for me. She should live her life, experience the world, not tie herself to an old broken man whose excitement consists of a fishing hole and a cooler of beer.

“You deserve good things too, Zoe.” My lips ache to press against hers, and though we’re saying goodbye, my cock is so desperate to say hello that I have to turn away before I’m ready.

Chapter Three

Zoe

“He’s hot as hell!” Nora grins widely as she meets me at the garden bed on the side of the house. “I’ve been watching you all morning. Why are you here… away from the hottie? I figured you guys would be tucked down in the riverbed making out or something.”

I pull out the last weed in the garden and toss it into the bucket next to me before drying the sweat on my forehead and staring toward my friend, who somehow still looks gorgeous despite the sweat and the blistering sun. “No… he’s, ugh, we decided not to pursue anything.”

Her brows narrow as she wipes her forearm across her forehead. “What? Why?”

“The age thing. He thinks I’m too young, and honestly, I’m kind of thinking the same. It’s weird. You can see it too, right?”

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