Page 8 of Bren

“Okay, you two need to calm down,” Maestro rumbles, his eyes ping-ponging between the two of us. “Cash, just tell him. He deserves to know so he can decide what he wants to do. We both know that if it was us, we’d want to know. I think he’ll surprise you.”

My gaze flits between the two of them. What could be so bad that they don’t want me to know?

“Fuck,” Cash grinds out, “Lizzie’s going to kill me.”

With a deep, heartfelt sigh, he turns to me, gripping my shoulder, “Alec, you really need to think about that night. For some reason, you’re blocking it out, and I’ve a good idea why. Now, out of all the women you know, who are the ones that are off-limits when it comes to fucking around?”

With no hesitation, I reply, “Old Ladies and sisters.”

Cash nods, “And out of your friends, who has a sister that’s never hidden she has feelings for you? I also think you have feelings for her, but for some reason, you hide it and drown it out with strange pussy. So, little brother, who, if you had the chance of a relationship with, would you choose?”

At his words, my heart both wants to sink to the pit of my stomach and make its way up my throat. I start to sweat as in my mind’s eye I see a face on the blonde that’s been haunting me for months, and it’s Bren’s.

“Fuck,” I whisper, feeling sick to my stomach, “fuck, Cash. I’m just like Dad, like you. I didn’t want kids, not with his blood running through my veins.”

Cash cups the back of my neck and pulls me towards him, his forehead to mine, “You listen to me, Alec. We are nothing like our father, okay? He was an evil motherfucker, and you aren’t. You have a dad, and he’s a fucking amazing dad. Blood doesn’t mean shit. Do you think I’m a bad dad to my kids? And I’m not including Sam in this scenario because he was a different case; I’m talking about my kids with Lizzie. Do you think I’m a bad dad?”

Shaking my head, I reply to his question, “No, you’re a great dad.” Wiping my hand over my suddenly dry mouth as it hits me why Mum sent that picture, “Holy fuck, Cash! I’m a dad!” I laugh slightly, and if it’s a little choked up, neither Maestro nor Cash says anything. Cash hugs me tightly, pounding my back. “Yes, you are, little brother. Now you have decisions to make.”

Now that I know, something settles in me; I’m still angry, though. Pushing away from Cash, I grind out angrily, “Why didn’t she tell me? She should have told me.”

“Before you go off angry and half-cocked, Alec, I want you to think back to the night she arrived and what you said to the whore that was rubbing up against you. It was one of the last nights before I got rid of them all,” Maestro orders me.

Grinding my teeth, I hold my tongue and do as he suggests, thinking back to that night. The shock at seeing Bren with a small round belly, looking as beautiful as ever with her longblonde hair and big blue eyes. She always looked so soft, but under all that softness was a core of steel. My thoughts flashed to the hurt and anger in her eyes when she threw my words back at me after the comment I made about children when the whore had questioned me on having them.

“Don’t you want kids?” the whore standing next to me behind the bars asked curiously.

“Fuck no,” I remembered stating loudly and adamantly. “I’m too young to be a dad. Plus, I make sure I wrap up, and I only use my own condoms; there’s no way I’m getting trapped by a baby mama.”

And at the time, I didn’t want any children. I never had.

Not with who my father was. Even though I’d been brought up by people to whom blood meant nothing, the fact that I had HIS blood in my veins always made me feel sick to my stomach. Why would I want to punish an innocent child with my tainted blood? Nope, I never intended to have children.

My shoulders drooped as my words came back to me, and the vitriol she’d thrown at me after that stupid comment—I can remember being shocked when she’d sprouted them off, wondering how she knew what I’d said so often that it came off as rote now.

The anger in her tone as she snorted out a short laugh, shaking her head in disbelief when I’d asked if she wasn’t going to make him at least pay child support hit me differently now that I knew it had really been me she was talking about, not some strange she’d slept with when she’d informed me rather coldly, “No, Alec, he’s exactly like you, not interested in anything but loose pussy. When he finally got me, that was it; no more interest. And before you ask, yes, we used protection, but it’s not always a hundred percent, as I found out. So no, I’d ratherthe guy that slapped my arse and told me thanks for the night and that there was money for my cab wasn’t around my child. She and I will be perfectly fine on our own, thank you.”

Everything made sense now. I also knew that after her childhood with a father that didn’t give a shit and what it had done to them all, she’d never put her child through being treated that way.

“Fuck, I’m a selfish idiot,” I lift my head to look at Cash and Maestro, who had both stood waiting for me to think over the conversation I’d had so long ago.

“A little bit,” Cash teases me, “but you can change that. What are you going to do?”

“I’m going home,” I say, pulling my hand from my pocket and staring at the small emerald earring. Now that my head was out of my arse, I recognised it for one that Bren had worn ever since she’d received them. “I understand why she didn’t want to tell me, but I don’t understand why you didn’t?”

“She didn’t want you to feel pressured, but she also said she’d never keep it a secret if people asked, and she hasn’t. The only thing that she insisted on was that everyone leave you alone. Gunny and Abby have had a hard time keeping Reaper and Beverly in the UK. They were ready to come beat your ass,” Cash sniggers. “Your mum is massively pissed at you.”

“Fuck,” I mutter, running my hand over my head. I’m still angry, but my heart is slowly softening that even though I’ve been an absolute arse, Bren still protected me when she should have been insisting I step up and help. Well, there was one thing I could do. Turning to Cash, I tell him, “I need you to take some of my money and set up a trust fund for Lexi.”

Cash nods, “I can do that. What else are you going to do?”

My jaw hardens in determination, “I’m going to go home and somehow make Bren see I’m good enough for both of them.”

Maestro and Cash grin at me proudly. Cash claps me on the shoulder, then pushes me towards the doors, “Come on, little brother, let’s go wet that baby’s head and welcome you to the joys of fatherhood.”

Maestro and Cash waste no time in getting us to the clubhouse. It was late that night when I stumbled to my room and fell into bed. I didn’t pass out, though. No. I had one more thing I had to do. Pulling my phone from my pocket, I scroll until I find Bren’s name.

Me – Lexi is gorgeous, Bren. Just like her mum xxx

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