Page 35 of Under Pressure

“I’m trying to,” Kendra grumbled.

“Like hell you are,” Sienna sighed, knowing. “Just talk to me. What’s been going on?”

Kendra found herself falling back against the wall, thinking about the past week. “He just showed up at a scene to warn me that I was in danger.”

“A scene?”

“Yes—the military vet.”

“Is that why he was there?”

“Either that—or me. I don’t know anymore.”

“He’s got an angle. I know it,” Sienna declared, shaking her head in disdain and looking down at the baby. “Be careful what you share with him.”

“Don’t you think I should tell him?”

Sienna took in a deep breath, finally replying, “Yes—eventually. But you need to be okay first, and you are not okay right now.”

Kendra locked eyes with her sister, and things got too real. She pushed off the wall, searching for her exit.

“You know what? I should get to work. Let’s catch up later.”

Sienna took a step forward, looking down on her. “You have to ask yourself some serious questions first. What do you want?”

What I can’t have—the thought ran through Kendra’s mind. She bit her lip, hating it all the same. She could never admit those words to her sister. Tears welled in her eyes and a ball formed in her throat, which she should have expected.

“Look… I’ve got to go.” Kendra grabbed her tote and leaned over the stroller to kiss her baby goodbye.

His face was so calm and peaceful, unaware of the turmoil between his parents. She didn’t want to disturb him, though all she wanted to do was hold him. A tear rolled down her cheek, which she carefully wiped away. It was time to go. She had a lot to do—and strength to regain. She had to push through.

Her hand on the doorknob, pulling it open, she became aware of her sister’s encouragement behind her.

“Remember that you are amazing. I’m here for you, Leo’s here for you—and we are not leaving.”

“Love you, sis.” Kendra shot a forced smile over her shoulder, trying to let the kind words sink in.

She launched out of her house to find her rental car—a reminder she didn’t need. The deal Delta had tried to cut with her was nothing more than an avenue to play more mind games. She didn’t need any fucking lessons from him.

The long drive down into LA to the lab gave Kendra enough time to think things through and reflect on her sister’s words. One day, she was going to have to have an honest conversation with Delta. It wasn’t a matter of giving him a chance. It was a matter of what was right. There were things he needed to know. Things he didn’t know right now.

Her fingers twitched on the steering wheel, drawing her attention once again to her naked ring finger. She was unwed. She wasn’t even with the father. He wasn’t there. That had been so hard to admit during her pregnancy.

“I wouldn’t ever marry him anyway,” she attested, dead sure. “It doesn’t matter.”

Shrugging it off and telling herself she really didn’t care, Kendra finally pulled into the parking lot of her gray and white-bricked lab, which was situated in the busy core of the city. She turned off the car and pulled her cell phone off the charger. But before stepping out, she stared at the screen. Afraid that she was obsessed, she fought the urge to send a chaser message to Delta.

I need to talk to you.

Then she deleted it before once again retyping it.

Chewing her mouth, staring at the unsent message on her screen, she knew it would be wrong. She wasn’t ready to have that talk. She wasn’t okay yet. He hadn’t known about the pregnancy, about his son. And even if she’d lain awake at night, thinking about how to tell him, she had no idea what she wanted out of it, aside from the fairy tale she’d never get.

But that familiar guilt rose up, pointing to the values she held dear. Her finger hovered over the ‘send’ button, and she bit her lip a little too hard, making herself flinch.

What am I doing?

She exhaled, finally deleting the words and never sending the message at all.

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