Page 40 of Under Fire

He sucked in air, shaking it off, tightening her into his chest. She hugged him back, looking up into his eyes.

“I wish you lived with us.”

“I know,” he said, tucking a lock of her hair behind her ears. “Me, too.”

“I can ask mommy?”

“Better not right now.”

She gently ran her fingers through his hair, smiling and giving him a childlike peck on the cheek. He placed his hand on his cheek where she’d kissed him, closing his eyes so he could keep it with him forever.

“Can we keep playing?” she asked, pointing at the grass.

“Absolutely.”

His face twitched as the agony from his scar coursed through his body. That’s when Warren knew for sure that his scar was opening again, in a figurative sense. And he couldn’t let that happen.

He tossed the ball back onto the grass, pushing through the pain to run after her and staying much closer for the remaining time they had at the park. He’d never be able to explain how much that little girl meant to him. He’d never be whole again, and he’d never forgive himself if anything ever happened to her.

* * * *

An hour later, Brooke rose from her faded blue lawn chair as Warren walked Katy up to her home. The curly-haired youngster beamed from ear to ear, holding her soccer ball on her hip as she walked up her small grassy lawn.

“Mommy!” Katy lunged forward, hugging her.

Brooke embraced the little girl, sending her inside to wash up before snack time. Once they were alone, Brooke turned to Warren, her face solemn.

“Does she know you are leaving in a matter of days?” she asked, adjusting her messy brown ponytail.

“Not specifically,” he admitted.

“Come on. Don’t just disappear.” The disappointment on her worn-out face was undeniable.

“I know. I won’t.”

“It was really hard for her last time you were gone. She needs to be prepared.”

Warren folded his arms, settling comfortably into numbness. Brooke stared at him, as if she knew exactly what was running through his mind. It was probably in hers, too. The truth he wanted to forget was that if he kept leaving, maybe one day he wouldn’t come back. Or, he’d be coming back in a body bag.

The vision of Geoff flashed across his mind, and he found himself stumbling forward. As if she felt it, tears welled in her eyes.

“Five years today. You know that, right?” she questioned, driving a searing knife into him.

A knife that even he could feel.

Silent, Warren ran his hands over Brooke’s shaking shoulders, pulling her into his chest. He didn’t know what else to do.

She continued through a cracking voice, “Sometimes I just get so fucking angry. Why him? Why us?”

“I know. I’m sorry.”

She ran her hands over her face, as if trying to wake up. There was one thing Warren knew. She was so strong. Hell, just thinking about everything she’d been through…

“I’m always here for you guys,” he reminded her.

“Really?” she fired at him, pushing him away. “Because you haven’t been here much the past five years. You didn’t even show up to his goddamn funeral.”

The words cut deep.

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