Page 97 of Under Fire

He let out a haggard breath, stopping at the top of Brooke’s lawn.

Brooke took Katy in her arms, holding her little girl tight. For the first time in a long time, Warren knew exactly what he had to say. It was a morning of truth. He’d started with Alisa, and he could continue the trend with Brooke.

“Hey, girl.” Warren ran his hand through Katy’s curly hair. “Can you give me and your mom a minute?”

Katy nodded, kissing her mom and popping out of her arms. Brooke patted her as she ran into her house, ready for a real breakfast. Turning back to him, they seemed to both inhale at the same time. It was time to have a hard conversation.

“When’s the next flight?” Brooke quizzed, seemingly ready for the worst.

Warren let it out, “I’m not going back.”

Brooke’s mouth dropped open. “What?”

Her disbelief didn’t surprise him.

“It’s done. I’m sticking around.” He nodded, reassuring her. “For this deployment, anyway.”

He paused, still nodding, thinking about everything. It had taken him a long time, but he’d finally figured it out. Her brows furrowed, as if she didn’t believe him. Hell, he barely believed himself.

“Come on,” she whispered, shifting where she stood.

“Brooke, listen. There’s something I need to tell you.”

She leaned in, her bright eyes blinking curiously.

It wasn’t easy but he continued, “I didn’t go to Geoff’s funeral—”

Then he paused, exhaling slow. He kept thinking about that long, ugly knife that Dean had pulled out. She tilted her head, waiting. God, it was so fucking tough.

“I didn’t show up to Geoff’s funeral because—” he finally choked out—“because I had to pretend he was still around.”

I had to pretend he isn’t dead.

Her eyes welled up as he said it. The truth landed hard.

“Jesus,” she whispered, blinking rapidly.

He sucked in a breath, thinking about all the guys he’d lost along the way. “I said I’d never go to a funeral ever again—not Geoff’s, not any of the guys. I have to pretend they are all still around. I just can’t—”

But his voice cracked, so he stopped. Those guys… They were his family. They were his brothers. His sons. They were everything. He’d lost too many. She nodded, understanding. That look of compassion nearly killed him. But he made himself stony once more. He had to. He wasn’t about to let tears roll out again.

“I’m sorry, Brooke. I really am.”

She lunged forward, burying her head in his shoulder. She broke. “God, I miss him so much.”

He smoothed back her hair. “Not a day goes by where I don’t wish I’d have done something different. Anything. I wish I could have saved him. I should have.”

She just sobbed into him before taking a deep breath, pulling back and touching his cheek. She stayed silent, but her demeanor changed. He felt a softness from her that he hadn’t seen in years. Everything was changing.

“I’m a different man now.”

“We are all different now,” Brooke agreed. “And that’s not always a bad thing.”

A pause fell over them. He considered her words. Things were happening in his life that he’d never expected—like, falling in deep.

She continued, “My best advice to you, Warren? If you love someone, tell them. Tell them every fucking day.”

Damn.

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