Page 37 of Bronco

“Don’t laugh at me.”

Her face drops. “I wouldn’t do that. It’s not often a man bears his soul. I might be a kickass in most things, but not this.”

I give her a soft smile, trying not to show my vulnerability. “I don’t feel good enough.”

She stares at me for a few seconds. “Really?”

There’s surprise in her tone. “Yeah, is that so hard to believe?”

“A little. I mean, you seem so confident in all you do.”

My eyebrows rise higher. “I do?”

“Yeah?” She shrugs. “I’ve always thought you took life by the horns, ya know? So to say I’m surprised you don’t think you’re good enough for her is an understatement.”

“That makes it sound like you think I’m full of myself.”

“That’s not what I meant.” She takes a breath. “You’re a good guy, you care about everyone. I’ve known that for a long time. Okay, maybe some of your past discretions leave a lot to be desired, but six months, Bronc? That means something.”

I palm the back of my head. “Yeah it means somethin’, but what?”

“I guess that’s what you’ve gotta figure out. If she feels the same way you do, or if she doesn’t, then you’ve got a problem on your hands.”

“Which is why I maintain it’s best to ignore what I’m feelin’, which, by the way, has only been a recent phenomenon.”

“Probably because she’s started dating again for real, maybe deep down you don’t want her to find Mr. Right unless it’s you.”

I frown. “That can’t be true.”

“Have you talked to her about being more?”

“It’ll backfire. I don’t know anyone who has a friend with benefits situation where it actually works.”

“Who’s talking about friends with benefits?”

“Nevada,” I sigh. “He said we could be fuck buddies basically, and then feelings wouldn’t come into play, so it’d be fine.”

She pinches the bridge of her nose. “Please tell me you’re not going to take his advice.”

“If I was, this would be just about gettin’ pussy, and it isn’t.”

“Are you sure?” She narrows her eyes. “I mean, there is temptation there, and getting what you can’t have. Some guys find that kinda thing alluring, like, the chase, ya know?”

I place my hands on my hips. “We’re not in high school, and I don’t chase, that shit is dumb.”

“It’s dumber to sit around pining for a woman you’re best friends with than to admit the truth and take a shot, that doesn’t add up in my mind.”God, she’s so accurately annoying.“And I think the reason you haven’t tried isn’t because you don’t think you’re good enough; it’s because you’re chicken shit that she could be the one. She could rock your world and your world right now is just fine, right? No commitment. No putting yourself out there. Nothing's gonna change if you don’t make a move, trust me on that.”

I bite on my lip, knowing she’s right, but not wanting to hear the truth. “I don’t know if I want to make a move.” I’m being completely raw now; we’re past the point of trying to hide how I feel. Crystal knows a lot when it comes to reading people and emotions, she gets it.

“Because you’re afraid of getting hurt?”

I didn’t know this about myself until now…and why the fuck is there a lump in my throat?

“I have unresolved issues with abandonment, but that’s my dad, not my mom. I have a very strong love for women because of my mom and how amazing she was raising me and my brother by herself after my dad left. But I saw what that did to her. She was so completely devastated.” I look down at my boots, remembering the day that he left. It took us all by surprise. We ended up moving because his family were too involved in what they thought my mom should do, even labelling her an unfit mother. It was that day, when I was seven years old, that I grew up in a lot of ways. I saw how cruel people can be, even those in your own family. Blood? It means nothing. Actions speak louder than words.

“I’m sorry, that must’ve been really hard,” Crystal says, her eyes brimming with tears. “I know how great your mom is, she’s one heck of a woman, and I’m sure she’d love to see you settle down.”

“Thanks.” I clear my throat. “That’s enough of the heavy, we’ve got a party to plan.”

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