Page 35 of Pen Me

Octavia Wilde

“No. No. No.” I chimed, like Satan himself had tried to fit inside the cell with me.

Octavia Wilde was my brother’s first baby momma. Hell, she was his first true love, as best I could tell. The girl was gorgeous back then and he was proud as a peacock to have her. There weren’t too many men that wouldn’t have felt the same, if they’d have been able to pull a piece of ass like that.

Henny knocked her up when he was fresh out of prison after his first bit. He was still on parole, when they picked him up for a violation five months later, so it was directly back to prison for him.

He didn’t know it, but she was pregnant when he went in. When she stopped partying enough to realize it, she wanted to abort the baby and run. I was my brother’s keeper; I couldn’t allow that.

Damn her, I couldn’t allow it.

I moved into his house, and I kept her distracted until she was clean. I went through hell with her, watching the beautiful woman my brother had bagged roll around in her own sweat and shit until there was nothing more than the bone pain to scream about while she was detoxing.

When she was strong enough to take my niece and walk away…

I was my brother's keeper. I gave her a reason to stay. I fucked my brother’s baby momma for over a year. I felt so accomplished. Such a little do-gooder, keeping his family together and taking one for the team…

That was something I would take to the grave, if I had anything to say about it.

That son of a bitch got out, knocked some other bitch up, and married her a year later leaving me with more fucking guilt than the Grand Canyon could hold.

Every step of the way, I had told myself, I was doing it for Henny…

I was keeping his family together for him.

But I guess after sitting in a cell and thinking about what had become of his situation and the woman he’d fallen in love with, Henny didn’t want that.

“Shit, girl. What the fuck are you doing?” I whispered, returning my attention to the lined paper.

Menace,

I know you said to forget about you, but I can’t. I’m sorry if me sending this to the county upsets you, but I didn’t know who else to reach out to. I need someone to explain to Henny why I did what I done, when all of this is over.

They told me six months ago I had cancer. I thought I’d be okay, you know. I’m fucking young, right? I’ve never been overweight or smoked cigarettes. I was wrong. The doctor said I’m not compatible with the chemo. They say I got six months. I know if I tell your brother, he’s gonna want to take Rumi out of here. He’s gonnaswoop in and take her from me, and I want to spend every last minute I can with my daughter.

So, that’s why I’m writing to you now. I want you to tell him where I’m at in five months. I don’t want her to see me in the end, you know? I want her to remember me right, but… I want to spend what time I have with her.

You remember that summer. I know you do. I’m going back to that first summer I spent with her. Send him there when it’s time, will you?

And Menace…

I know you’re dead set on proving to the world that you’re a lost cause, or whatever, but for what it’s worth… I’m glad you were my daughter’s uncle. I’m glad she’ll have you and her father guiding her when I’m gone. Keep her in your thoughts and prayers. Let her be what gets you back home to Henny and everyone.

I’ll see you on the other side.

Octavia

Hot tears spilled down my face. I didn’t even realize they’d come on, until they were copiously pouring. I closed my eyes and forced my breathing to slow as the cage suddenly shrank around me.

I knew it would feel like prison again sooner or later, but fuck did it always have to be an absolute kick to the nuts when that reality rushed up on you?

Chapter Nineteen

The Hottest Bad Decision

Sammy

“Lockdown.” I repeated, my tone surely as dry as my expression.

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