Page 12 of Blocking Her Love

“Sorry, didn’t mean to say that out loud. You don’t need any more ammo against me.” She returns my grin and leans back. “So, baby sis, what are you working on?”

“I’m uh… writing. A book.”

It’s her turn to blush and I can’t help teasing. “Ah ha. One of those steamy romances you like to read? Is that why you’re turning red? Did I interrupt one ofthosescenes?”

Reaching behind her, she grabs a decorative pillow and chucks it at me. Laughing, I catch it before it smashes into my face. My sister’s got good aim.

“No,” she says. “This is non-fiction. Some of the things you’ve said hit a chord with me. About creating that balance between life and sports. Especially for women in sports. All the times you’ve told Ellie and me to find and hold fast to that balance are inspiring. I want to help inspire others. Besides, it gives me something to think about and do when we’re not physically prepping for a match. This is all about the mental side of sports.”

I nod. “You’re finding balance. Good for you. I’d like to read what you’ve written—whenever you’re ready.”

“And I planned to ask you for input after this competition is over. What I’m writing is really more you than me.”

“Do not sell yourself short, Maya. I know you write well. You’re probably better at expressing what I mean than I am. I’m honored you chose a topic I’m passionate about for your first book.”

Hoping Ellie might reappear, I remain in the living room asking Maya questions about her writing. She allows me to read a few pages and she really is good with words. Damn good.

When she starts to yawn, I stand and stretch. Maybe she’ll have the opportunity to talk to Ellie tonight. Whether she’ll let me know what happens is doubtful. If she can help Ellie realize the possibilities the same way she has for me, they need time without me around. “Go to bed. We’ve got early practice tomorrow.”

She glances toward her bedroom door. “Yeah. I’d better get some rest.”

Rest is impossible for me. Attempting to ignore my half-hard cock, I bring a rival team’s recent game up on my tablet. I’ll study their moves and create a plan for when we meet during the tournament. I’m being productive. When I realize I’m staring unseeing at the screen while stroking myself, I toss the tablet to the side and head for the shower.

Under the pulsing, massaging spray of warm water, I edge myself twice before allowing myself to finish. After the muffled groan of her name I slide down the tile and sit sprawled on the shower floor.

Finding balance isn’t going to be easy.

eight

Ellie

The sand iscool and while I wait for Sean and Maya to join me, I wiggle my toes deeper into the slightly damp surface. It’s probably a silly superstition, but I judge the sand at every practice and definitely at every competition this way. Not that it really matters, I suppose. I play my best game no matter what the conditions. I just need to feel the sand.

The early morning sun glints off the water in the distance. It’s going to be a great day. I won’t be able to enjoy much of it though. The tournament starts in a few days and the jittery need to focus and improve every aspect of my game is strong. I need to work those jitters out of my system until all I feel is the power of my serve and the speed of my spikes.

Normally a good workout eases the vibrations under my skin. Getting into competitive mode is calming for me. Except I’ve found little calm the past few days. Then last night happened. The kiss that rocked me to my toes. I touch my lips. The kiss I still feel was far more… I can’t find the right words to even explain it to myself… it was simply more.

I’d pretended to be asleep when Maya entered our room. I have no idea what she and Sean had been talking about even though I’d pressed my ear to the door to try and decipher the low rumble of their voices. I’m not sure I really want to know. Maya is observant but then anyone with a brain would know something was off with me the way I escaped into the bedroom.

Sometime in the early morning hours I finally fell asleep. No dreams, which surprised me. This morning Maya acted like everything was normal although Sean was unusually quiet. And I caught both of them looking at me strangely. That’s why I grabbed an equipment bag and rushed ahead of them to the beach. I can’t face the questions I don’t know how to answer.

My world has tilted wildly since I hugged Sean, what was it? Only a couple weeks ago? Now I notice how much he watches me outside of training. How much I enjoy spending non-team time with him. I like his eyes on me, looking at me as something other than an athlete. And wow, did I like kissing him. It scares me how much I want him.

Hell, I don’t know what I’m doing or thinking. I’m confused and need to clear my head. A good workout. That’s what I need.

Maya and Sean finally join me and Sean outlines this morning’s training routine. With only a handful of fans watching, today’s focus is on passing and setting. After warm up we settle in to a serious, fast paced workout. Considering my over-crowded mind and wild emotions, I was concerned I’d have issues but both my passing and sets are spot on most of the time. Maya however is struggling today, her movements sluggish and slightly off.

After a particularly bad pass, I bend over with my hands on my knees and draw in some deep breaths. Looking up at Maya, I vent my frustration. “What the hell was with that pass, Maya? Where’s your head? You gotta get into the game, girl. We’ll go out the first round with you playing like this.”

At her stricken expression, I immediately regret my tone. “Look, I’m sorry. We all have off days. I just want us to do the best we can.”

Sean joins us. “Ladies?”

“It’s okay, big bro. Today I’m just not… balanced.”

They share a look communicating something I’m left out of. Doesn’t bother me, they’ve always done that. As long as it gets Maya back to peak form. Then I wonder if I do pursue a relationship with Sean, if we’ll have a way of instant communication without words. That would be nice. Even if we don’t, being with Sean would be more than nice.

It would be life changing.

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