Page 7 of Take All of Me

She’s just staring at me now, wide brown eyes locked on mine, cheeks still flushed from the pleasure Brogan and I wrung out of her and the tequila still humming through her veins. She’s beautiful, all rumpled burgundy dress and wild curls, and all I want is to wrap myself around her again. Hold her tight until that tension in her shoulders melts away. But that’d scare her just as much and I’d rather leave than push her over the edge.

I swallow hard, nerves clawing up my spine, as she finally speaks. “I’m just really confused right now,” she admits. “I getwhat you’re saying but I just… it doesn’t make sense why I didn’t feel this four years ago. Kota I…” Her breath catches as she steps back, hand flying to her neck. That fucking scar that I can’t see pisses me off. I want to rip Nox apart, tear him six ways from Sunday, and drop his head on a platter at her feet just to watch her smile.

Her scent shifts, burning into me, this acidic, scorched vanilla that stings the back of my throat. She wrings her hands together, fingers twisting, before she adds, “I’ve wanted someone to touch me for so damn long like you used to and you just came right back in and did all of that. Brogan too, like it was nothing. Like I’m something worth touching.”

My heart lurches and I step forward closing the gap just a little. “Because we want you,” I insist, voice rough with how much I mean it. She shakes her head, too fucked up by Nox to believe a word of it, and that kills me.

“I don’t know why but I just really need to hold you,” I blurt out, hoping she at least understands that I’m just as confused about how we’re reacting to each other as she is. It’s primal, this ache in my bones, and I can’t explain it any better than that.

She hesitates, eyes flickering with uncertainty, but she doesn’t pull away when I reach for her this time. I guide her back to the bed, my hands steady on her hips. She lets me kneel, slipping off her shoes one by one, then I kick off my own and climb onto the mattress. I pull her into my arms, tucking her head against my chest, her curls tickling my chin as I breathe her in. My whole body relaxes, tension bleeding out like this is what I’ve needed since she got flustered after Brogan left. Her arm slides around my waist, tentative at first then tighter and it feels like everything’s fixed—like the world’s right again.

She shifts against me, voice muffled into my shirt. “You never needed this before.”

“You’re not the only one that’s changed and I’m terrified but that’s tomorrow’s problem. Maybe Monday’s.” A quiet laugh rumbles out of me and she echoes it, a small shaky sound that warms my chest.

Her scent calms more, the sharp edge fading, her shoulders loosening under my hands. She’s still pressed against me, one of her legs slipping between mine just like we used to. I can’t stop running my fingers along her arm tracing the fabric of her dress. It’s sweet—this closeness, this quiet after the storm of the party—and it’s all I’ve wanted since she told me she was coming back.

But the angst gnaws at me too. I dumped too much on her, cracked open a truth she’s not ready for, and I’m scared she’ll bolt when it sinks in. Still the way she’s holding me back, fingers curling into my shirt, it’s romantic in a way that makes me hope. Like she’s mine even if she doesn’t know it yet.

But while she’s trying to process all of this, I’m trying to figure out what the hell is going on, the heat pooling in my lower belly, the growing need to sink inside of her and fuck her senseless, and that flicker of uncertainty that makes me want to crawl into Holt’s arms and make the rest of the world disappear. Maya’s right. I’ve never wanted any of those things.

Correction, I’ve neverneededany of them before.

Maya was disappointed when Brogan left but I felt like some piece of me was going to die if I couldn’t get Maya to smile again. Like it was my instinctual duty to ensure her happiness.

This clawing need to have her in my arms, the whine itching at the back of my throat, it’s flipping everything I’ve known upside down. And not in a good way. If I’m not a Beta anymore—if I’m sliding into something else—my whole life’s at risk. My spot on the Hawks, the goalie gig I’ve bled for, it’s all on the line. Never in Northvale’s history has an Omega guarded the net. Definitely not one my size—six feet and built like a damn wall. People will talk. They’ll stare. My pull toward softer things—my masters inchildhood education mocking me from the corner of my mind—starts making sense and I hate it. Hate how it fits. Hate how it might break me.

She softly pats my chest, her touch snapping me out of the spiral. “What happened to leaving the outside world for tonight?” she asks, voice teasing but gentle. “Tell me something exciting. Something you’re looking forward to. The world can wait a little longer, right?”

I glance down and she’s looking up at me, uncertainty flickering in those brown eyes. I lean forward to kiss her, craving the taste of her, but stop a breath away, unsure if that’s what she wants.

A frown overtakes her face. “Why did you stop?”

“Because I want more than one night. The idea of not waking up to you tomorrow, of feeling you against me, of knowing you’re mine…” It spills out but I can’t take it back.

She nestles her head against my chest, hiding her face again. “I can’t start something I can’t finish. The bite removal surgery came at a cost. Sure, I’m not tethered to Nox anymore but my olfactory senses tied to my scent gland don’t work like they used to. The doctor mentioned I might never find my scent match because of it and then you two just come in here… it’s a lot, Kota.”

I hold her tighter, grinning into her hair as it finally all makes sense. Her distance today, this evening, even in her room, her lack of interest—it wasn’t because she didn’t want me. She couldn’t smell me. Couldn’t feel what I’ve felt since the day I met her, since the moment I came in this room to see that she was back. “I’ve always hoped, Aya,” I confess. “Always wanted you but this afternoon it was different. More permanent. Everything just kind of clicked.”

She sighs, pressing closer. “I wanted you both. I didn’t know why, just needed it but now I can really smell you. Not just faint notes here and there. Your scent is everywhere.”

“That’s what I meant before when I said that’s what mates are,” I explain pulling back just enough to meet her eyes. “When we meet our biological matches, everything just kind of works. Usually, anyway. It also means when everything is new, we… need each other.”

She tenses in my arms and I know she’s struggling to wrap her head around all of this. “I’m not ready for that, Kota. Maybe one day but I just… you have mates. I kind of smelled them on you and if things are changing like I think they are, you’ll need more than me.”

“They’d accept you,” I insist, a soft edge to my voice.

She looks up at me, doubt clouding her gaze. “As much as I would want to believe that, I’m not so sure about an Alpha in my life, Kota. I know yours is probably fantastic, probably loves you more than life and will love you even more after these changes but I’m not sure that’s for me.” Her words slice deep because I know she means Holt—steady brown-eyed Holt with his mahogany vanilla scent—and she’s right. He’s everything to me. Roman too. But she’s the piece I’ve been missing and losing her again might shatter me.

She leans up then, kissing me softly. I melt against her, tasting her until she pulls away, leaving me just a little more confused than before. “What’s that for?”

“We’d both regret it later,” she replies.

My chest aches because she’s right but it’s not enough. I need more—need her—and it’s tearing me apart. “Can I hold you a little longer before I leave?” I ask, barely holding it together.

She nods, a small smile tugging her lips. “Yeah I think I’d like that.”

I tuck her back into my chest, blocking out the rest of the world, and my changing designation but when a tremble runs through me, heat bleeding through my limbs, I know that it might be a tomorrow problem after all.

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