Page 106 of Shielding Instinct

After a quick update from Hawkeye, Rowan said. “Okay, you two, you’re done here. My team and I will handle it.” He touched the gun at his hip.

Petra blinked at him.

“You and Hawkeye need to eat, hydrate, and decompress. Petra, you’ve done amazing work. You’re done here. This isn’t for you.”

Yeah, hostage rescue wasn’t part of Petra’s skillset. She moved to go.

“Hey,” Rowan whispered. “Not a word to anyone. This is an active mission.” Rowan caught Hawkeye’s gaze. Hawkeye gave an affirmative nod.

“Off we go,” Petra mumbled when they were well out of earshot, “to have a relaxing evening.” She turned back to the house with a deep frown. “As if that could really happen.”

Hawkeye took her hand, and they walked away from the kidnapped children to get themselves something to eat.

It felt sowrong.

Chapter Thirty-Six

Petra

They didn’t feel like going far.

Exhaustion wasn’t enough of a word to explain how her body felt. Neurodivergent burnout didn’t quite cover it either. And she was too tired to find a more appropriate descriptor.

She didn’t want to eat at all, chewing felt like it would take too much energy, but Hawkeye insisted. He also wanted her to sit outside and see the stars so she could calm her mind before she tried to sleep.

So here they were.

With pre-made picnic boxes from the fridge by the front desk, they’d wandered outside and down the wharf where they sat, dangling their feet above the water.

“I’ve always heard of fight, flight, or freeze. But you have fight, flight, or chill. I don’t know that I’ve ever seen anyone respond like you in a crisis before.” Hawkeye pulled his sandwich from the box and unwrapped it.

“Fight, flight, freeze, but for women, there’s a fourth and a fifth, fawning and fine. Women have a human bomb in front of them, tick, tick, ticking. There’s no way to run away or freeze.” She spread her hands wide. “How would that serve?”

“Fawning.” He seemed to be trying on the word for the first time.

“Smiles, laughs, placating language.”

He shook his head.

“When women are near dangerous men, they aren’t smiling because they’re happy. They’re not laughing because they find the situation funny. They’re placating, emotionally petting theman interacting with them—someone known or a stranger. A hurt ego is dangerous. Violence is always possible.”

“So, when I turn to a woman, she’s smiling at me—” Hawkeye said.

“You’re huge and solidly muscled. What chance would a woman have against you even if she were a trained fighter? I’m a trained fighter. I’d never go up against you. I’d fawn.”

“With me? Have you done that?” he asked with a look of shock and disquiet.

“No.” Petra unwrapped her sandwich and lifted the bread to see what textures were underneath. “But I have friends who vouched for you. And our mutual friends would hold you accountable if anything happened to me at your hands.”

His brows came in tight.

“If you’d just stepped into my sphere and started chatting me up, and I knew nothing about you? Yes, I’d fawn out of self-protection. Few women wouldn’t. You’re an unknown quantity.”

He took a bite of his sandwich and thought about that while he chewed. “I’ve heard that before from my female friends that the most dangerous thing in a woman’s life is a man.”

“What do you think is the biggest danger to a man?”

“Stupidity?” He shrugged.

---