Page 100 of Her Cruel Redemption

A rumble rippled through the cavern, disturbing the silence. We both raised our heads, listening.

‘It’s probably just rock falling in one of the less stable tunnels,’ Draven said after a moment, rising to his feet. ‘But I’ll go and check.’ He cast his gaze over me, caressing me with it, expression softening. ‘Why don’t you try and get some more rest?’

‘I’m fine,’ I grumbled, pulling my knees into my chest.

He scoffed, shaking his head. ‘You don’t have to pretend for me. I know what it feels like to come out of magic fever. Just rest.’

I watched him pick his way through the stones and disappear into the dark. As soon as he was out of sight, I let my body slump, rubbing at aching muscles, chaffing at my skin against the chills rattling my chest. Iwastired. Which was ridiculous, since I’d already been unconscious for days. But after a few minutes, I crept to that nest of a bed and settled back into it, grateful to bury myself beneath swathes of fabric and wait for the chills to ease. I thought about the people who’d be looking for me in the world above, wondering whether they were alright. How badly had I hurt Goras when I’d struck him? What sort of reckoning would there be for what I’d done? I drifted to sleep lying on my side, my face resting against my hand as I stared at the spot Draven had disappeared, waiting for him to return.

Chapter Forty-Six

Rhiandra had been asleep for another half a day when the pain struck.

It wasn’t the first time since she'd hit me with lightning and severed the magic from my body. There had been other attacks when she was still unconscious. But that didn’t mean I was prepared for it. Every time, I hoped it would be the last.

I squeezed my eyes shut, hands braced against the rock wall, gritting my teeth against the sharp flashes of agony snapping through my head. Bit down on a groan. It would pass. It had passed every time it had happened so far. But that knowledge didn’t keep me from a brief flash of fear that this time it wouldn’t.

I wasn’t sure whether the pain was a consequence of a body long used to the addictive, poisonous high of magic going through withdrawals, or if it was the magic writhing to escape a body to which it was no longer bound. I wasn’t sure if it would get better or worse. But it was extreme, debilitating, and left me shaky, mouth dry and ashy. I groaned again as a spasm of pain raced along my limbs, cramping every muscle like an echo of the lightning Rhiandra had struck me with.

When the druthi bound their victims, severing the connection between magic and the ability to use it in order to drain it from their veins, they shocked them with electricity to achieve it. I knew that. It made sense that lightning could do the same. That didn’t mean I‘d suspected this would be the outcome of that moment on the bridge. It didn’t mean I’d been prepared for it. I definitely hadn’t been prepared for how much it would hurt.

I straightened when the pain finally subsided, rubbing at the tightness in my neck. Sought the now-absent hum of magic almost without thinking in some pathetic impulse grounded in a doomed hope. There was nothing to reach for. That power I’d so long possessed, gifted to me by my dying mother when I was too young to know what it would do to me, was gone. My mind was quiet without it.

I took a few deep breaths, scrubbing my hands over my face, then continued on my way through the dark channel with nothing but my own memory of the way to guide me through the dark. I wondered whether I’d return to the cavern to find Rhiandra had woken again, and how she’d respond to me if she had. Would she be feeling better? If she was, would she be wrapped in rage again, ready to have another go at killing me? Or would some of what I’d told her by the fire soften her a little? She was nothing if not tenacious in clinging to her rage. I would have been stupid to let my hopes get the better of me.

When I reached the cavern I halted, poised on the threshold, arrested by the sight of her sitting on the edge of the ocean pool, unclothed, rinsing herself in the salt water, skin glistening in the dim light. Her hands stilled for just a moment, long enough to convey that she knew I was there. I could imagine her pulse quickening to a flutter, heat flushing her skin. But then she kept moving like nothing was amiss, combing her fingers through her hair, but slowly now, like she was in no hurry. Always so brazen. I wanted to read her, to reach out and taste the desire on her in an decadent pleasure that magic had offered me. Reading her had always been an illicit secret no one else could share, a way of reaching past the façade she presented and knowing what she felt beneath. But that possibility was gone.

‘You’re awake,’ I said, and my voice was too low, too husky, as I watched her.

‘I’m feeling better,’ she said, flicking her hair over her shoulder.

I approached her slowly, gaze clinging to her, devouring her. ‘Are you putting on a show for me?’ I asked, knowing how it’d gall her to suggest it.

‘Why? Are you tempted to touch?’ Her movements stilled completely as I moved behind her, basking in the sense of her so close to me.

‘I’m always tempted to touch you.’ I traced fingertips along her neck, exposed where she’d lifted her hair. ‘Would you like me to touch you?’

‘No,’ she lied.

Immediately, I withdrew my hand. ‘Then I won’t.’

She stiffened. ‘Oh, sonowyou find restraint?’ she accused without turning around, like she could only speak the words to the wall. There was anger in her voice. That couldn’t be helped. In this one particular arena, I was going to be sure to disappoint her. If I didn’t, she’d get to keep playing reluctant and living in denial forever. That wasn’t enough for me anymore. If she wanted something from me, she was going to have to take responsibility for wanting it, not lure me into giving it to her without ever having to ask.

‘Restraint?’ I repeated with a sardonic twist of a smile. ‘What did you think I would do? Tie you up down here so you can pretend it was never your decision?’ My hand was drawn back to that curve of her neck, smoothing round to caress her throat. ‘That’s what your idea of me would do, isn’t it? Just take what I want from you.’ Her breath hitched, lips parting she leaned into me, her eyes flickering closed. My blood surged, rushing to places I didn’t need it to go if I wanted to keep a clear head. ‘It’s enticing, my dear. But what I want most can’t be taken that way.’ I withdrew my hand and straightened up. ‘Dry off. You’ve not been long out of your fever. You need to stay warm.’

She rose to her feet and turned on me, hands held resolutely at her sides, staring up at me with those dark eyes that always held a dare. My gaze dropped, taking her in slowly, the dips and curves of her, peaked nipples and flushed skin and thighs I wanted to part around me. This, I would take with impunity, revelling in the burn of wanting her, toying with the decision to keep myself from touching her. Stepping away a moment before I did.

She saw the step, and triumph lit her eyes. ‘I’m not cold,’ she said, crossing back to the sandy spot that had been her bed for several days, the display of her walking away just as enticing when I could see her hips sway. She sat on a boulder rubbed smooth by the churn of waves. Leaned back on her hands.

The urge to go to her was a heady, pulsing thing. It thundered as she dawdled a hand over her breast. Held my gaze brazenly as she parted her legs. This was why I hadn’t wanted to tell her I loved her. Because in her hands, it would become a weapon. Was already a weapon as I watched her drop her hand lower, over her stomach, fingers winding through the soft patch of dark hair at the apex of her thighs.

‘How tempted are you now?’ she challenged, the wicked smile that stole her mouth sharpened by the scars on her face, by the imperfection of her fierce, violent beauty, all vibrance and defiance. I was going to lose this game. Was already moving towards her, powerless against her pull. Always fucking was.

‘You win,’ I said as I knelt before her, took her in my arms. Kissed her with a force as fierce as she demanded, arms hooking around her waist, revelling in the smooth, bare skin. She was climbing onto my lap, her legs around me, her kiss tasting of salt and anger and her hands rough as they clawed at my clothing and tried to get at what she wanted without having to stop and think. I relented to her tug at my shirt, raising my arms as she yanked it from me. She unbuckled my belt, freed my cock, and I dropped my hands to her hips, holding her still. Pulled back.

‘No,’ I said, staring her down as she looked up at me with murder in her eyes, her breath coming fast. ‘Not like that. I want to take you slowly.I want tosavouryou.’

‘I don’t want your restraint. I want you hard and fast andnow.’

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