Page 68 of Her Cruel Redemption

I felt light-headed. I sat down heavily in a chair that seemed placed just to catch me, here by the entrance of the tent, like Gwinellyn was going to be shooting multiple people down with devastating truths. She watched me solemnly as I tried to gather words, collecting them together and arranging them in different sequences that might lead to a path out of this. Had I really been so obvious? Had Draven’s hold on me been written so clearly that even Gwin—so willfully blind to my flaws as she was—could have looked on us and read the truth?

‘It’s time to be honest,’ she said when I still couldn’t speak. ‘There was no enchantment on you.’ She inhaled a sharp, stuttering breath. ’You were responsible for my father’s death.’

I swallowed. Opened my mouth. Swallowed again. Where were my words? Where was my voice? ‘I wasn’t lying about the deal,’ I began. ‘He gave me a glamour to hide my scars and in exchange I had to deliver three apples. When I made the deal, I didn’t know what his intentions were.’

She said nothing, just watched me. Waited for more. What more could I say that hadn’t already been said? How could I justify my wrongs against her?

‘He didn’t explicitly tell me what the apple that killed your father would do,’ I continued quietly, turning my eyes to my hands. ‘But it wasn’t hard to guess.’

‘You were never enchanted into acting as you did,’ she pushed.

‘No. At least, not in the way I let you think I was.’

‘Why did you lie to me?’ Her voice wavered. I couldn’t look at her.

‘You wanted to believe it so badly. I just thought it would be easier on both of us.’

‘Easier on you,’ she said. ‘Just shift the responsibility, pretend you had no choice. Hide the fact that you conspired with him and were just as much at fault as he was. Pretend you didn’t marry him willingly. Pretend you didn’t kill my father and steal my crown.’

‘It doesn’t change any of what I’ve done since,’ I said, finally looking up. ‘I still stood against him when it mattered. I’ve still supported your campaign to reclaim the throne. I’m still here, ready to fight for you.’

‘And I’ve defended you and made excuses for you and looked like an idiot to everyone in doing so.’ Her tone was sharp. I’d never heard her use a tone like that before.

‘Come on. A small part of you must have known. Youwantedto believe I was better than I was. You’vealwayswanted that.’

She rose to her feet, and I was surprised to note her fists were clenched by her sides. ‘Maybe I did,’ she said hotly. ‘But the least you could have done to repay me was make sure I wasn’t made to look a fool for doing it. After the show the two of you put on in that farmhouse, I’m looking like the stupidest little girl to have ever called herself a princess. Who wants a queen who can be so easily deceived? Look at how naïve Gwinellyn is, they’ll all be saying to each other tonight. She let that woman convince her that she was completely blameless of treason, when it’s soobviousto us what really happened.’ She took a breath, like she was steadying herself. Her face was flushed with emotion.

‘Gwin,’ I said softly, my tone pleading. ‘I’m sorry. I didn’t realise… I thought I could…’ I couldn’t finish the sentence. What had I thought? That I could control how Draven would behave? Could control how I was perceived? No. The truth was, I hadn’t been thinking about that part at all. All I’d wanted was to use that meeting to show him how unaffected I was. I’d wanted towin.And I’d failed miserably. ‘I’m still the person I’ve been since Lee Helse,’ I said instead. ‘You have my loyalty. My belief in your right to be queen. Everything I’ve done to help you get there hasn’t been a lie.’

She let out a breath. ‘I don’t know what to do with this,’ she admitted, shaking her head. ‘I need some time to think.’ And without another word, she swept past me and through the entrance to the tent. I was left sitting there, staring after her, mind whirling. She wouldn’t rescind her pardon for my part in Draven’s uprising, would she? Perhaps she would. But I was too valuable to their war efforts to be executed. And it wouldn’t be good for morale, to try me for treason after I’d so publicly aligned myself with her cause. No, they’d surely try to keep any rumour that might have been spawned from what happened in that meeting quiet.

It didn’t change what it had done to our relationship, though.

How could I have been so stupid? I rose from the chair, swatted the door flap aside and stalked from the tent, restless. I should have considered how Draven would be riled by the annulment of our marriage. Should have known he’d want to rewrite the narrative I’d been spinning. But I hadn’t thought his anger would make him so… possessive. I hadn’t anticipated that his focus would be so plainly on staking his claim on me. A war of words could have been battled well enough as my story against his, but that display? The territorial chest beating? It had either been really fucking clever, or it had been… genuine. I dismissed the idea immediately. It had been a strategic performance delivered perfectly to convince everyone watching that there was real feeling between us, and it had worked. I’d have to be more careful in future.

The camp was packed down with speed and efficiency, and before long we were riding to join the greater army as they marched towards Port Howl. Gwinellyn didn’t speak a word to me, and I stared at the back of her head as we rode, feeling miserable in the knowledge that she had every right to hate me. If I were her, forgiveness would be the furthest thing from my mind. Between that and the silence that had crystalised between everyone else in our party, it was a relief to reach the army.

Elias and Tanathil were waiting when we arrived, a little separate from the crowd gathered to hear about the outcome of our negotiation. Gwin went straight to them as soon as she’d dismounted, with Mae only a few steps behind her. I trailed along at a distance, so I caught the narrow-eyed glance King Esario sent their way when Elias took Gwin’s hand. I was torn between warning her to be more discreet and wanting her to do as she pleased and tell the King of Oceatold to mind his own business, before I realised that my advice likely wouldn’t be welcome. Not now. Perhaps not ever.

‘How’d it go?’ Elias asked Gwin, and she only shook her head, eyes downcast. Tan patted her on the shoulder as Mae began to fill him in on what happened in a low murmur.

‘Where are Daethie and Goras?’ I asked, but before anyone could answer me, someone in the uniform of the army physicians ran past me, almost bumping into me in his haste, quickly followed by another. There was shouting in the distance. Neither were good signs in a war.

‘They’re helping,’ Tan explained, waving a hand towards the noise. ‘Daethie’s decided she’s fascinated with human healing techniques. Goras is just big, so good for carrying the ones who can’t walk.’

‘Helping with what?’

‘Soldiers from Port Howl. They started stumbling into camp half an hour ago.’

As I watched, a man in what looked like a tattered guard uniform rounded a tent, limping, arm slung around the shoulders of one of Esario’s soldiers. I headed in the direction he’d come from, leaving the others behind. When I rounded the tent, I could see a thicket of trees marking the end of the army and the beginning of soggy swamp land that contributed a great deal of mosquitos to the misery of camp life. There were men filtering through those trees, most walking well enough, but a few requiring support from the soldiers and physicians and nurses waiting to help them.

So Draven had kept his word. Three hundred prisoners for one conversation. Perhaps it was only because the prisoners had been too much trouble to hold onto, with the costs of feeding and containing them. I found a place a distance away from those waiting to help and stood watching the trees, hoping against reason that he would make good on all his promises.

Chapter Thirty-Three

Trading in Port Howl’s soldiers had been done with little fanfare but a great deal of unspoken resentment. I didn’t care so long as the resentmentstayedunspoken, but there was an undercurrent of tension in our ranks these days. The reluctant allies growing ever more reluctant.

I surveyed the swampy land separating me from Oceatold’s latent army, spotting for any stragglers, and wondered how surprised Ocetold’s King would be to find I’d kept my word. He’d returned Lester when the princess had returned to them, so I could easily have broken the deal I’d made. But I didn’t need to push the girl into getting creative with leveraging the other advantages she may now have realised she had. That would surely come soon enough.

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