Page 51 of Her Cruel Redemption

Gwinellyn wanted their cooperation. She wanted this alliance. What’s more, I knew she needed it if she ever wanted to sit the Brimordian throne. Esario, on the other hand, wanted me to prove I could be controlled. I sighed, releasing some of the anger, even when its fading revealed a yawning sadness beneath, so deep I was afraid to go near it. What did this one little submission matter in the scheme of a war? I picked up the jar. Opened it and dipped my fingers into the cream. It was thick and sticky. I tried not to think about what was in it as I smeared it over my cheek. It left a numbing sensation behind, not unlike the glamour I’d once worn. Well, I’d begun now. I may as well do it properly.

When I’d rubbed cream into the rest of my scars I stared hard at the mirror, trying to see if there was a difference. I couldn’t help but feel disappointed when I couldn’t pick any out. As I slipped into bed, I longed for the mirror I’d hidden behind for so long. And then my mind inexorably turned to the man who had given me that mirror, and in the dark it was impossible not to dwell on what I’d learned of his past. To dwell on what might have happened to him while Igor Lidello had been trying to peel the magic from his body by pushing him to the ‘extremes of endurance’. My imagination provided plenty of possibilities for what that phrase had meant in reality. I spiralled from there into remembering Draven struck with magic fever, his skin hot, begging some phantom being to kill him. Vowing to kill someone I couldn’t see.

And then I dreamed of smashing glass.

Chapter Twenty-Four

The carriage jolted to a halt, its wheels slipping slightly on the rain-slicked cobblestones. I drew my cloak tighter around me, staring out at the unassuming townhouse ahead. The shutters were drawn, the narrow street nearly deserted. Only the soft patter of rain and the faint glow of lanterns lit the quiet afternoon. The guard seated on the bench by the driver shifted, moving to dismount, so I quickly opened the door and climbed down before he could help me out, my boots splashing in a shallow puddle.

‘Perhaps you might want to go and keep warm somewhere,’ I suggested.

‘His Majesty has tasked me with protecting you, Your Highness,’ the guard replied, half-risen from his seat and seeming unsure where to go next with me standing at the base of the ladder. ‘I’ll be going where you go.’

‘It’s Torren, isn’t it?’

He nodded.

‘Torren, are you close with the other guards in your unit?’

‘Yes, ma’am,’ he replied, wiping rain out of his eyes.

‘You’ve been through a lot together that’s bonded you pretty tightly?’

He chuckled. ‘We sure have. We had some pretty tough years in training. Our sergeant was a real…’ he trailed off, seeming to remember himself and who he was talking to. ‘Sorry, ma’am. Yes, we’re close.’

‘Well, my friends in there are close to me in just the same way,’ I said with an encouraging smile. ‘I’d really like some time to just be with them, you understand? They kept me safe all the way from the Yawn to Sarmiers, so you don’t need to worry while I’m with them. Perhaps you and our driver here—’ I nodded at the man in the broad-brimmed hat holding the horse’s reins, ‘—can sit in the tavern across the road. It’s too miserable to stay in the carriage, and you can still keep an eye on the building. How does that sound?’

Torren was nodding, his expression still unsure, but I was already thanking him, so he couldn’t say no now. I turned away from the carriage with a little sigh of relief. Even bringing a palace guard here made me nervous. I didn’t want anyone associated with the palace looking too closely at my friends.

Inside, the boarding house was a little shabby, a little small, but at least it was dry and warm. The door opened onto a large common room space full of an assortment or tables and mismatched chairs. It was before this first that I saw Elias, Goras and Tanathil sitting. Elias and Tanathil were holding hands of cards while Goras attempted to shuffle them. Stray cards kept falling from his big fingers to the tabletop, and he grunted in exasperation before trying to scrape them up and reunite them with the rest of the deck.

They looked round as I approached.

‘Finally, she comes!’ Tan cried, flinging his cards down and leaping out of his chair before throwing his arms around me. I staggered back, laughing, and he grasped me by the shoulders as he drew back, turning me as though to examine me. ‘I thought you might look healthier now that you’re not having to suffer through our cooking.’

A little of my joy at seeing them evaporated, and with a pang I thought of Kel cobbling together meals out of whatever we had in our saddlebags. ‘I liked the camp food.’

A shadow passed across his face, as though he was thinking the same thing, and he released me. ‘Even so. You look pale, dewdrop.’

‘Get out of the way, Tan, you’re crowding her. Go and tell the others she’s here.’ Elias took my hand, his smile warm, amber eyes creased at the corners. ‘Come and sit.’ He led me to the armchair he’d been occupying, before crossing the room to draw another over. Goras was trying to stuff the cards back into their box as he grumbled about how stupid the game was, and when he’d succeeded, he cast an eye over me as Tanathil scampered away up a set of stairs to find Mae and Daethie.

‘Is this place comfortable?’ I asked anxiously. ‘Have you got everything you need?’

‘Comfortable enough,’ Goras said, folding his meaty arms and sitting back in his chair. ‘We’ve encountered no problems. We stay indoors and keep to ourselves. The woman who owns the house leaves us alone.’

‘Oh,’ I responded, upset at the idea they were all trapped inside. ‘I think you can probably go outdoors. Just try not to draw attention to yourselves.’

‘Don’t worry about us. How has it been at the palace?’ Elias asked as he settled into the new chair, leaning forwards with his elbows on his knees. ‘We’ve been worried about you.’ Then he frowned as he seemed to take me in properly. ‘Tan is right. You look like you haven’t slept in days.’

‘I’m fine,’ I replied, reluctant to admit how much being back in the environment of a royal court with all its politics was already wearing on me. Reluctant to admit how out of my depth I felt after the promises I’d made them and the danger they’d put themselves in to get me here.

His mouth twisted. ‘You don’t need to put on a front for us. What’s going on?’

I hesitated, glancing at Goras, who was watching me with the same quiet intensity. It felt impossible to hide from them. My fingers twisted the hem of my sleeve as I tried to find the words. ‘There are a lot of opinions on what my alliance with Oceatold will look like. King Esario has expectations, and so do the lords from my father’s council who have made it here. It’s just difficult to hold my own. I have so little to offer in return for their support of my claim to the throne. I just—’ My voice broke for a moment, and I shook my head, angry at myself for showing so much weakness. ‘I don’t know if I can do this.’

‘Is that woman helping you?’ Goras rumbled, referring to Rhiandra I assumed. Before I could respond, Tanathil’s light footsteps came thumping down the stairs, Mae and Daethie trailing behind him. Mae’s sharp eyes scanned me instantly, and Daethie’s brows knit together in concern.

‘What’s wrong?’ Mae asked without preamble, striding over to place a hand on my cheek. ‘What are they doing to you in that palace?’

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