Page 115 of My Fiancé's Brother 2

It was as good a plan as any.

Jackson: Tell me where you are.

I stood up. “Come on Chloe. Let’s go.”

As we walked back to the car, Jackson called again. I powered off my phone and tossed it on the dash.

I drovefor an hour along the coastline in the opposite direction of New York.

Jackson loves Harper.

Jackson will never love me.

The words were stuck on repeat in my head. It was almost a relief to realize it. You get so wound up about ‘what ifs’ and worry about every aspect of it, that when it ends, you just think, okay it is over. It’s done. I gave it my best shot, and I failed. Now the struggle is over. Jackson took his big hands and ripped open my heart to a mushy mess. But there's a certain comfort with hitting rock bottom.

I had no business being part of Jackson’s life. We didn’t know each other. We were two strangers that were forced together because of a baby. It was the worst reason to get married. And now I would end our marriage. It was the only sane thing to do.

I swung into a Wal-Mart. I picked up some essentials. I also bought some dog food for Chloe. I drove another hour and then when I could barely keep my eyes open, I checked into a motel that was dog-friendly. I took a long shower and climbed into bed with Chloe. I curled up around her and went to sleep.

CHAPTER 39

After a tragedy,the best part of your day is those first few seconds when you wake up, because for a moment or two everything is fine. Then as your mind wakes up, you remember, and then pain snuggles up against your heart. I lay there in bed, feeling almost incapacitated by how bad I felt.

I thought I'd feel better in the morning, but I felt decidedly worse. I was essentially on the lam. I ran away from my husband. I had no idea where to go or what to do next. All I knew is that I needed to be alone. I missed him. I thought that my love would be enough to make everything okay between us, but it was just crushing me.

Yes, he was in mourning. He grieved the loss of his friend, but he was also in the process of letting go of this relationship. He pushed me back so far. He was making his choice. He wanted nothing to do with us anymore. The fact that he was reading Harper’s texts, but not mine told me everything.

I sat on the edge of the bed and floundered in my pain. He was committed to me. He would remain the faithful and dutiful husband, but I realized that I wanted more. I needed more. I wanted andneeded him to care about me. That is something that would never happen.

I loved him with all my heart, but it wasn’t enough. A successful partnership required both people to love. He loved Harper. I had thought that with his interest in Alien that somehow it'd be okay. He'd love our child, and I'd love him, and somehow we'd make it work. But now his disinterest in Alien was clear.

I needed to find the strength to leave this man. My heart shattered over the loss of him in my life, but for my baby’s sake, I needed to do this. I would not raise this baby in a home where its father was indifferent and unable to care.

I hearda knock at the door. I don’t know what I thought. Perhaps it was housekeeping. I swung open the door, and Jackson stood there, filling the entire door space. He wore the same clothes he had been wearing last night, but he had added a baseball cap. He looked exhausted. How had he found me? What was he doing here? What did he want?

“How did you find me?” I stammered.

“Emily, I’m a Navy SEAL. It’s my job to find people.”

“I didn’t want you to find me.”

He gave me a measured look. “Can I come in?”

My heart started to beat again. I hated how hope surged through my body. I was such a sucker for punishment. I stepped back. He walked in and immediately the room felt smaller. I crawled onto the bed, and I waited.

He leaned against the wall across from me and crossed his arms.

“Want to tell me why you walked out?”

I refused to answer.

“Is this because I missed the ultrasound?”

The man was clueless. “Why bother following me? Why not stay back home with your slutty girlfriend?”

“What are you even talking about?” His voice sounded exasperated.

“Harper.”

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