“I’ll make it work.”
My breath hitched in my chest. And that was the kicker. Jackson would make it work. He was a Navy SEAL, and his entire existence was based on sacrifice and endurance. In fact, he’d be so good at making it work, and he’d probably pull off the impression that he wanted it. The thought terrified me. Jackson had always represented the truth to me. The idea of him pretending anything to me made me feel sick.
I took a deep breath. “I would like to postpone this conversation.”
“Until when?”
“Until I have had a chance to think about it.”
His face looked expressionless, but he gave me a short nod.
I let out a pent-up breath. I grabbed my keys and my phone. I needed to go for a drive. I needed to get out of here. He watched me, but he didn’t try and stop me.
I was halfway to the door when it slid open.
A very disheveled Matt stood in the doorway. His hair stuck up in all directions. If I wasn’t mistaken, it looked like he had been crying. He stared back at me.
“Emily, can we talk?”
I glanced over my shoulder at Jackson who now leaned on the island. He had a relaxed pose, but that didn't fool me. His gaze was intent and watchful.
With a heavy heart, I nodded at Matt. “Come in. Do you want something to drink?”
He shook his head.
I looked around the open loft. “Let’s go onto the patio.”
We stepped outside. As I slid the patio doors shut, I glanced inside. Jackson watched with his arms crossed and a not-so-pleased expression on his face. I sat down across from Matt. We looked at each other.
“Can I speak first?” I asked.
He nodded.
“I just wanted to say that I’m sorry. On so many levels. I should have told you sooner.”
“I knew something was bothering you. I knew you were having doubts about it all, but I chose to ignore that.”
“So much happened before your accident. It was hard to get on the same page when you couldn’t remember.”
Below us, a truck roared to a start. Jackson had walked out. I won’t lie. The sound made my heart quiver in pain. Which is crazy since I had just been arguing with him that I didn’t want him around.
I refocused on Matt.
“I’m starting to remember,” he confessed.
My mouth dropped open. “What?”
He looked ashamed. “Not full memories, they’re more like fragments of nightmares that come to the surface. But the stuff that I’m remembering isn’t good.”
“Matt, you were sick. A lot of that stuff you did was because of your tumor.”
“I can’t even imagine how much I hurt you.”
I sighed and leaned back on the patio couch. “It was such a mess, Matt. I don’t even really know half of the stuff you were up to because you were gone all the time. I was too much of a coward to address anything with you.”
“What happened with you and Jackson?”
“The more you were gone, the more I tried just to pretend that nothing was wrong. And Jackson was here. Helping me. Fixing my car. Eating dinner with me. Cleaning up my messes. You would lash out, and he would get protective.”