Page 117 of Dream a Little Dream

“Why? Did you think I’d carry on the family business, too?”

Kenny shook his head. “No. But tonight could have unfolded in a hundred different ways, dependent on your actions and reactions.”

“Are you gonna give a lecture right now?”

“Do you want me to?”

“Go on, then, doc. Talk psycho to me. You know it turns me on.”

Kenny held his gaze for a moment, then couldn’t help himself. Whether it was his innate need to evaluate behaviour and situations, or because of what Aaron had said, it didn’t matter, because off he went.

“The choices you made tonight onlyyoucould have made. Because you’reyou. The inner architecture that drove you to protect Alice, even when every instinct probably urged you to run, comes from who you are, your experiences, your values, your personality built up from every experience you’ve ever had. Every decision made comes from the distinct traits woven into your personality.”

Aaron blinked back the tears forming. The lump in his throat. “Are you saying I’m decent?”

“I’m saying you’re inherently good. Even though bad things have happened to you.”

Kenny was hellbent on driving that home, or maybe he was showing off. Peacocking for Aaron, knowing that he was his student. He was there to learn from him. Regardless of whether that came from within a classroom or here, on his doorstep. In his arms.

“People make choices every day based on their experiences and influences. Sometimes they’re driven by survival,sometimes fear, and sometimes by something deeper. Our experiences try to trap us in the same patterns, locking us into responses we think we can’t escape. But tonight, you proved you’re more than just a sum of what’s happened to you. Maybe you remembered what it feels like to bethatscared,thatalone, and you couldn’t let someone else go through it. That’s empathy.”

“So I’m not a psycho?”

“No.” Kenny held Aaron’s gaze, the gravity of his words solid, unwavering. Then he leaned forward, their faces close, pressing a soft kiss to Aaron’s lips. Chaste. Gentle. Butthere. Though it wasn’t the kiss that had Aaron’s heart leaping. His next words did. “I’m really fucking proud of you.”

Aaron lowered his head, hiding his smile, but when he peered back up, he let his vulnerability show. He shed his layers. Because Kenny could see through them, anyway. “I really want you to take me inside,” he breathed against Kenny’s lips. “I want to sleep in your bed. I want you to hold me.”

Kenny’s exhale warmed his cheek. “Oh, God,Aaron…you have no idea how much I wish I could do that.”

“Door’s right there, doc. You got a key, right?”

Kenny’s furrowed brow was deep and unforgiving. “If I let you in tonight, I might not let you leave again.”

“That’s not a deterrent for me, doc.”

“It has to be for me.”

Aaron’s smile faltered, and he dropped his head, resting against Kenny’s chest. “Why?”

“A variety of things.” Kenny ghosted a hand up the back of his neck, fingers gentle.Soothing. “If you want me to help you heal, to get you through all this, and understand who you are, then I can’t blur those lines. Not with you. Not with all you’ve been through. You need clarity, and a chance to become yourself. Everything I said before is still valid. Despite how I feel.”

Aaron stiffened, closing his eyes, every word feeling like yet another beating. “Howdoyou feel?”

“Like I’m falling apart.”

“Same.”

Kenny inhaled a sharp breath. “But I’m your professor. That alone…” his voice cracked. “If you stay here, at this university, under my authority, then this can’t happen. I’d be risking everything. My career. My integrity. And you’d be risking even more.”

Aaron peered up. “You think you have to protect me?”

“Who else is going to?”

“So you don’t feel this?”

“Fuck.Yes. I feel this. Every single wrenching bit of it. But I’m so much older than you. I have to be the level-headed one here. For both of our sakes. I can’t fall into this, no matter how easy it feels to do so. Not now.”

“Then when?”

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