Page 39 of Dream a Little Dream

October 15 2014, 10.26pm

“Do you have to smoke in bed?”

Kenny lit his cigarette, inhaled, blew out the smoke, then slipped the stick onto the edge of the glass ashtray propped on his bare chest to throw the lighter on his bedside table. Jack beside him, naked and freshly fucked, probably expected a snuggle rather than Kenny reaching for his vice.

But that was the problem with addiction. Replacing one for another when the hit wore off.

“You don’t like it, go home.” Kenny picked up the cigarette, flicking the ash into the pot, then took a lingering drag and exhaled the smoke to swirl spectral shapes around the dusky ceiling light. He tucked one arm behind his head, enjoying the sensations of a post-coital nicotine rush.

Jack rolled away.

Kenny reached for him. “Sorry, I didn’t mean it.”

Jack threw his legs off the bed and stood, his beautiful naked form dotted with the remnants of Kenny’s overzealous therapy session. He couldn’t help it. It was his other vice. Marking those who were his to satisfy the emptiness of his half-drained soul.

“You don’t want me to go, then put it out.”

Kenny stubbed the cigarette out, then popped the ashtray on his bedside table. When he turned back, he patted the mattress beside him. Jack crawled back on, snuggled closer, and Kenny put his arm around him to give him the attention he craved and Jack ran his fingers through the hairs on Kenny’s chest, quiet and subdued.

“You know my dad died of lung cancer.”

“Got off lightly.”

Jack looked up at him. “I don’t want them to killyou.”

Kenny held him close. Said nothing. So Jack rested his head back on him.

Without the cigarette tempering him, Kenny’s mind rushed through everything he couldn’t stop. His fingers twitched as he stroked up and down Jack’s back and he was desperate to fill his thoughts, his emptiness, with work.Idle minds…

“Can you believe she pleaded innocence?” Jack said, mostly into the ether, but Kenny knew he was also asking him. To validate. To confirm. Perhaps allowing him to talk.

“She was always going to.”

“Do you believe her? That she’s a battered wife? That’ll be her defence. That he made her hide his deeds.”

“She’s exceptionally intelligent. She knows what she’s doing. And I’m certain she held all the control. Bona fide psychopath. She’ll find it hard letting go of her dominance.”

“And what about the man? Can’t bear to think of him as someone with a name. The things he did…”

“He’ll find it more difficult being separated from her. He might well take all the blame, try to spare her the murder charge. Wouldn’t surprise me if, when he realises she no longer needs him, he’ll end his life. He doesn’t value it.”

Jack slipped away from him, propping himself up. “What do you think will happen to the boy?”

“That all depends on what happens next. He needs expert care. We don’t know the extent to which he was involved. How bad it was. To reverse any of that, he’s going to need—”

Jack leant down and kissed him. “Let’s not talk about it.”

Kenny drew in a breath, then wrapped his arms around Jack to snuggle him closer. “You started it.”

“I know. And I’m stopping it.” Jack kissed him again, wriggling on top of him and Kenny wrapped his arms around him, gliding his hands down to his arse.

“It’ll be a timing issue.” Kenny said through kisses. “We can’t leave him to the care system, passed from one team to the next. He needs stability and to talk through what he’s feeling. What he doesn’t understand yet.”

Jack raised up to look him in the eye. “It’s not your problem.”

“No, it’s everyone’s. Is he being protected? The UKPPS?”

Jack rolled off him. “Don’t get obsessed with this, too.”

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