Page 32 of Killing Me Softly

Wouldn’t make it hurt less, but he’d take it.

The way he’d taken every rejection and brutal punch to the face before.

“No,” Kenny finally said, then looked up at him, eyes filled with pain. “I don’t. But Idohave a lot of stuff to process. Plus the new start to the year. My professorship meeting…I should prepare for that right now but with mum…” He tilted his neck. “I don’t want you to worry that I’m ignoring you intentionally.”

“Are you saying I’ve got, like, attachment issues? A fragile sense of self-worth?” Aaron made a pfft sound, waving him off. “Chill, bruh. I’m totally easy breezy. Flaky as fuck.”

Kenny breathed out a smile.

Aaron watched him for a moment, then shook off his unrest. “You don’t have to worry about me when you’re the one dealing with…what you’re dealing with.”

“But if I don’t worry about you, then I’ll have to deal with what I’m dealing with. And if I’m honest, I really don’t want to and you’re a very good distraction.”

Aaron stalked out from the kitchen and crossed to where Kenny sat at the dining table, gliding his arms around Kenny’s shoulders. He held him from behind, dipping down, sweeping his cheek into Kenny’s hair as he stroked Kenny’s chest.

“I’m sorry I’m not better at this,” Aaron whispered into his ear.

“You’re doing just fine.” Kenny lifted Aaron’s hand and kissed the underside of his wrist, lips soft against his pulse. “Better than fine.”

Aaron kissed Kenny’s neck for a while, unsure what else he could do. If Kenny wanted a distraction, he could do that. Then he noticed the folded piece of paper on the middle of the table,Dr Lyons’s Shopping Listwritten in cursive swirls on the front. He leaned over and snatched it.

“How about I go do this?” Aaron opened the note, scanning over the list of things Kenny’s cleaner had written for him to buy.

“You don’t have to do my shopping. I can order it in. That’s why she writes it.”

“You won’t get an order today and I need milk. So I’ll go do this while you…chill. Or do whatever it is you need to do.”

“Are you sure?”

“Course. Could use a walk. Get out of the way for a bit.”

Kenny scrubbed a hand down his face. “Okay. Thanks. Thatwouldbe helpful.” He angled his head toward the doorway. “Take my card.”

“I don’t need your card. I can pay for this.” Aaron checked through the list, all written in fancy writing as top-notch as the items screaming fromWaitrose. He wasn’t sure hecouldpay for it all. His loan hadn’t come in yet. And his wages from the campus shop job had gone on various bits and pieces in Barcelona. He had a shift tomorrow, Sunday, but he wouldn’t get paid for that until the end of the month. But Mel’s sugar daddy comment still gripped him harder than it should have.

“You’re a student, Aaron.” Kenny cut into his thoughts. “And I’ll bet your loan hasn’t even reached your bank yet. Take my card. It’s probably still in my wallet, which is in the case by the door.”

“For someone who knows a lot about criminal behaviour, you are exceptionally lax with where you put important things in your house.”

“Like my spare keys?”

Aaron winced. “I’ll go get dressed.”

* * * *

A short while later, Aaron headed to the nearest supermarket on foot. He still couldn’t drive, so he was stuck with having to walk. Fuck Kenny and his need for the better shit from Waitrose. That was the other side of town, and Aaron wasn’t getting on a bus. Tesco was only a mile away, so he went there. And he wandered the aisles, checking the list his cleaner had written, which was mostly cleaning products so she could, well, clean, Aaron supposed. Food, he guessed, he’d have to figure out himself.

Clutching the basket, he went straight for the essentials. Bread. Milk. He checked the confectionary aisle to see if they had any Crème Eggs leftover. Sadly not. So he moved onto the cleaning aisle and took out the note to check through what he needed so Kenny wouldn’t live in squalor while he sorted out his life. As he rounded the corner, he stopped dead, cursing under his breath. He went to turn away, but it was too late.

“Aaron?”

Aaron turned back. Faked a smile. “Taylor.”

Taylor looked different. He didn’t suppose even Taylor, who prided himself on not having a hair out of place, got dolled up for grocery shopping. But since the whole mess of last year, Taylor had shown his flaws and Aaron now could only see the cracked edges rather than the polished guise he had when he cruised the campus. Although Taylor hadn’t been on campus all year. He’d been at his placement. And, thus, out of Aaron’s way. Apart from the brief talk after all the mess, Aaron hadn’t seen him.

Until right then.

Taylor held up his basket full of cleaning products. “Max and George graduated, so they’re moving back home. We have to clean the place. For the landlord to check it.”

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