Page 55 of Killing Me Softly

Eventually, Aaron dragged himself away, picking up his bag, but Kenny grasped his hand, holding their arms outstretched as if preventing him from leaving.

They stayed like that for a while, gazes locked, with everything they hadn’t said seeping through their open eyes.

“See you at home, doc.”

chapter twelve

Liability

Kenny watched Aaron leave through the open office door.

He wiped his mouth, but it did nothing to erase the lingering sensation. What had just happened, what Aaron had done, pressed down on him, heavy and undeniable. Aaron had been telling him something with that kiss. Letting him know he was there. Hesawhim. Waswithhim. And Kenny had wanted to dive headfirst into him and never come out.

The murmurs from the administration office reached him, Gail and several other staff whispering from their desks, eyes darting between him and the open door. Kenny rolled his eyes, unable to bring himself to care. Not now. Not with everything else vying for space in his head. Let it get back to the Dean. What was one more fire to put out when he was already standing in the middle of a blaze?

“Kenny?” But that Dean was stood at the gap in the door, taking in his office with one sweeping glance.

Kenny stood awkwardly, as if caught with his pants down. “Ellie.” He nodded in greeting.

Ellie stepped inside. “Could I have a moment?”

Kenny couldn’t exactly deny her one, so he waited for her to close the door.

“I’m placing you on leave,” she said as she turned to face him.

“Excuse me?”

“Leave.” She folded her arms. “Effective immediately. I’ll classify it as compassionate, so you’ll continue to be paid. After that, I suggest you use your accumulated holiday, because if you refuse, we’ll issue it unpaid.”

Kenny’s stomach dropped. “On what grounds?”

“On the grounds that you are clearly unfit to perform your duties at this time.”

Kenny dropped into his office chair, catching his head in his hands. He raked his fingers through his hair, the pressure in his chest mounting. She was right. Of course she was. If this were any of his colleagues or staff he line managed, he would have recommended the same course of action without hesitation. But this wasn’t them. It washim. And the idea of letting go, even for a moment, felt impossible, as if trying to hold on to a lifeline fraying in his hands.

So he blurted: “I’m in a relationship with Aaron Jones. Third year Forensic Psych.”

Ellie’s expression didn’t change. If anything, there was the faintest glimmer of annoyance, as though he’d stated something painfully obvious. “I know, Kenny.” She gestured toward the door with an elegant flick of her hand. “The entire office knows. When a student barges in here not once, but multiple times, and makes a scene which you welcome in like it’s a private audience, it doesn’t take long for rumours to spread.”

“He came in just now because he’s offering me support after my mother’s death.”

“And the other times?”

Kenny opened his mouth. Shut it.

“Whatever his reasons, and yours, it still doesn’t excuse the position you have put yourself and this faculty in.”

“I should have declared it. I know that. I take full responsibility.”

“Yes, you should have.” Ellie’s tone sharpened, cutting through the air with surgical precision. “Or, better yet, you shouldn’t have entered the relationship in the first place.”

Kenny nodded. He understood. Heagreed. At least rationally. Logically, he knew better. He’d taught entire lectures about boundaries. The ethical implications of power dynamics. The psychology of desire versus discipline. He knew the theory like the back of his hand.

But theory had nothing on reality. Nothing onAaron.

If he tried to explain to Ellie how impossible it had been to stop himself, he doubted she’d understand. Or maybe she would. Maybe she’d had her own inexplicable pull to someone before. And maybe that was worse. Because there was therightthing to do, the thing that adhered to professional guidelines and moral standards, and then there were the urges that defied logic. Existed outside the sterile framework of ethics.

Aaron wasn’t just a temptation. He wasgravity. Pulling Kenny into his orbit with a force he couldn’t resist. It wasn’t just desire. It was a deep, aching need tearing down the walls Kenny had built around himself. The psychologist in him knew what it was. Primal. Instinctive. The limbic system lighting up like a firestorm. He could dissect it clinically, name every mechanism at play—dopaminergic reward pathways, the intoxicating allure of taboo—but none of that knowledge saved him from succumbing. Kenny had spent so long rationalising the world, trying to predict and control it, that when Aaron hadcrashed into his life, he hadn’t stood a chance. He was human, too. Fallible.

---