Page 121 of Killing Me Softly

I Found

Kenny stayed in the hospital for a week.

Two days in ICU, monitored closely, hooked up to machines tracking every heartbeat, every breath, ensuring his body wouldn’t shut down on him. Then, once the worst had passed, they moved him to the ward, where a full recovery could begin.

Aaron was there for nearly all of it.

He couldn’t stay overnight, but he arrived the moment visiting hours began each morning and refused to leave until the nurses physically kicked him out at eight p.m. Kenny knew he wasn’t going back to his hall of residence at night. He was staying at Kenny’s house. Waiting.

That was fine with Kenny.

Hewantedhim there.

Aaron wasn’t his only visitor, either.

Jack came by, bringing coffee that Kenny wasn’t cleared to drink yet and a steady presence that didn’t require words. Frasercame too, when Jack was off duty, cracking jokes at his expense while Aaron glared at him, as if Kenny needed protecting from laughter. His aunt arrived, quiet but warm, assuring him she would handle all the arrangements for his mother’s funeral and he didn’t need to worry about anything. She met Aaron, too. It could have been awkward, but Aaron excused himself to get her tea, giving Kenny a chance to explain the intricacies of their relationship.

When Aaron returned, she hugged him.

Then there was Professor Marwood—Ellie. She arrived hesitant but genuine, offering apologies, regrets, and the formal reinstatement of his professorship application, should he wish to return to his role in the faculty. Dr Pryce wouldn’t be there. She’d been arrested. Currently in custody, awaiting trial, denying everything. Claiming Kenny had lied about the drugging, thathewas unstable, that his behaviour was driven by the trauma of his mother’s death and his forbidden relationship with the son of two serial killers. That it washewho’d manipulatedher, not the other way around.

The judge disagreed. She wasn’t granted bail.

Still, the case wasn’t open and shut. Kenny would have to testify against her, reliving every moment of what she’d done. He wasn’t sure if he was ready for that. But that was the thing. Nothing was ever going to be over until she was behind bars and Mable was laid to rest. Even then, there would be an inquiry into what had happened. How Mable had been allowed back into society. Kenny wasn’t sure if he wanted to be a part of it. He was so done with it all. Exhausted.

And whether Kenny wanted to go back to work?

That, too, remained uncertain.

After a week, the doctor discharged him.

His body was still weak, sluggish, aching with every movement, but the hospital had done all they could. Healingnow meant time and patience. Two things Kenny was horrifically bad at. And as neither he nor Aaron could drive, Jack and Fraser offered. Aaron sat in the back seat with him, hands laced tightly in Kenny’s, as if he thought if he let go, Kenny might fade away completely.

Kenny welcomed it. The touch, the reassurance, thewarmth. The physical affection. But his psychologist brain wouldn’t shut up, wouldn’t stop analysing Aaron’s behaviour, dissecting every micro-expression, every unconscious grip of his fingers, every hesitant glance as though measuring Kenny’s every breath.

The guilt.

It hung off Aaron like a weighted chain, manifesting in the way he clung too tightly, held too long, whispered reassurances Kenny hadn’t asked for. Didn’t need. And Kenny knew why Aaron wouldn’t let go of him.

Fear.

Fear that this would break them, that Kenny would eventually decide it was all too much and run away. That being with him, the son of Frank and Roisin Howell, would eventually cost Kenny too much to bear. He’d lost his sister, his mother, his entire career to the Howell’s. It was a logical step to believe he wanted nothing more to do with any of them.

But Aaron was wrong.

Love was complicated.

So even if Kennycouldrun, which he physically couldn’t right then, he wouldn’t.

Not from this.

Not fromhim.

Because he was in love with him.

So when Jack and Fraser got him home, settling him on the sofa, and Aaron fussed around, ensuring Kenny had everything within reach, Kenny saw it for what it was. Guilt transmuted into action. Aaron had always struggled with stillness, withhelplessness. He needed to move, to do. Distract himself from emotions he couldn’t, or wouldn’t, process. A learned behaviour. A survival mechanism from a childhood spent clawing his way through situations beyond his control.

But Kenny couldn’t let him continue thinking he had to make amends for things that weren’t his fault, or his burden to bear.

---