Page 19 of Killing Me Softly

“Do you ever answer a question without asking one first?”

“Do you?”

“Fuck off.”

“No.” Kenny shifted back into a seriousness he was sure Aaron would need right then. “No, I don’t want to take you back there. I don’t want our summer to end. I hate the thought of not waking up next to you. But if you need to go back to keep your room, then I‘ll take you back. I’m sure we can manage one night apart.”

“You reckon?”

“We can try.”

Aaron turned back to look out of his passenger window and the rain hit the windshield in relentless waves, distorting the world beyond in smears of grey and gold from the streetlights. The glass turned Aaron’s reflection into an impressionist painting, all blurred edges and shifting shapes, indistinct and lost in the downpour.

Then, barely above the hush of rain, Aaron’s breath misted the glass when he said, “I don’t want it to end either.”

Kenny heard the vulnerability, quiet but unshakable, woven into Aaron’s voice and it blindsided him. He twisted his hands on the steering wheel, just letting the revelation wash over him. Aaron didn’t say things like that. Not often. And certainly not like this. He flicked his eyes from the road, trying to catch Aaron’s gaze, but he was still turned toward the window, as if hiding would soften the truth of it.

Until, “But maybe I should go to my room.”

Kenny shifted, trying to gauge him, but when Aaron finally turned to face him, his expression didn’t match the words. His lips parted as if he was waiting for Kenny to contradict him, to tell him he didn’t have to go. That he could stay. That they could figure this out together, instead of stepping back into the separate, carefully constructed roles the world expected of them.

Kenny let out a slow breath. “You don’t have to.”

Aaron ran his tongue over his bottom lip, hesitating, then smirked as if it didn’t matter. As if he could pretend none of thiswas getting to him. “Can’t be rousing any more suspicion when you’ve got that professorship to chase.”

“You know I wasn’t granted that in June.”

“Yeah, but didn’t you haggle? Wave that other uni who wanted you in their face?”

“I sent the letter, yes, but I’m not expecting much from it.”

“Fucking hell. Saving university students from certain death ain’t even enough to get you a pay bump these days, no? That’s bleak.”

“It’s not just a pay rise. It’s a tenure. You earn that.”

“Right. And risking your life don’t count?” Aaron glanced at him. “Maybe stop fucking your student, then.”

Kenny twisted his hands on the steering wheel. “That would be the smart move, wouldn’t it?”

“Guess you’re not that smart, after all.”

“Not when it comes to you.”

“Lucky for you, I don’t like you smart.”

“Liar.”

Aaron huffed a quiet laugh and sank back into the seat. Kenny smiled too, but it didn’t touch the place inside where the walls were already starting to cave in. He thought they had more time. One more night tangled in each other. One more weekend to keep fucking him before the weight of routine crashed back in. More time to pull Aaron’s confessions from him piece by piece, to hear something reckless. Something stupid. LikeI’m falling for you.But it was slipping away faster than he’d braced for.

An hour later, Kenny pulled into the near-empty University of Ryston accommodation car park. The campus was still ghostly quiet, the new term not quite begun. It would tomorrow for the first years. Then in a couple of days for the rest. But, for now, twilight settled like a bruise over the skyline and no one was around to watch as Aaron climbed out, grabbing his case from the boot.

Kenny sat for a second, flexing his fingers on the steering wheel as if letting go would unravel him. He watched Aaron shift on the pavement, glancing toward the window on Kenny’s side. Then Kenny’s phone buzzed. A weak chime signalling it had enough charge to stagger back to life. The screen lit up with a familiar number.

The care home.

Kenny hesitated. He could let it ring. He could wait until Aaron was inside.

But his usual dread and plummeting stomach made him swipe the call. “Dr Lyons.”

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