Page 53 of Killing Me Softly

“Nothing screams apology like rubbing it in my face that he’s told you something he hasn’t told me, then dressing it up like some moral sacrifice. That’s not guilt. It’s patronising as fuck and a way to make me feel like an outsider in my own fucking relationship. That’s what you want, isn’t it? So you can push your way back into his life.”

Jack exhaled through his nose, but Aaron wasn’t finished.

“Because, to me, from where I am, it certainly looks like you and Kenny are still tangled up in some secret little world that I don’t get access to. Likeyou’restill in a relationship with him. How does Ginger Hulk feel about you and your ex sneaking around all the fucking time, huh? What if I went there now and told him about you two being all touchy fucking feely at the fucking hospital? Because if I were him, I’d be pissed. Actually, Iampissed. So start again. Because this gaslighting bullshit doesn’t fly with me.”

Jack’s lips twitched in slight amusement. “You and Kenny must have wild arguments.”

“Wilder sex.”

“I’ll bet.” Jack almost rose off the concrete. “For the record, Kenny didn’t confide in me. He’s not leaning on me over you. The only reason he’s talking to meat allis because he needs me to push an investigation forward.”

“An investigation?”

“His mum.”

Aaron hung his head. “She didn’t die of old age, did she?”

“No.”

“Fuck.” Aaron turned away, catching Mel still sitting in her car across the street, watching like she could feel the tension radiating off him. “How did she die?”

Jack waited a beat. “Suffocated.”

“Jesus.” Aaron paced back and forth, raking his hands through his hair as his thoughts raced. “And he’s not telling me because…?”

Jack cocked his head. “If you don’t know that, I’m not sure I’m the one who should say it.”

“Because it’s to do with me?” Aaron clenched his fists. “Cause this is yet another fucking problem I’m giving him?”

Jack stood. “No.” He met Aaron’s heated glare with steady calm. “Jesus, fuck. I can’t believe I’m having to say this.” He took a breath, as if exasperated. “Kenny’s in love with you, Aaron.”

Aaron froze, the words landing like a shard of glass straight to his chest, sharp and unrelenting. “What?”

“So you two haven’t told each other yet? Jesus. You really are perfect for each other.”

Aaron swallowed hard, throat tight. He didn’t speak.Couldn’tspeak. Which was a good thing, as Jack kept on going.

“Kenny is inlovewith you, Aaron. All in. No holds barred. Headfirst, never-coming-out, can’t-breathe-without-youin love.And when Kenny loves someone like that, his fear of losing them is so overwhelming, it clouds his rational thinking. He makes choices based on what hethinkswill prevent that from happening. Stupid, desperate choices.” Jack stepped closer to him. “For all of Kenny’s brilliance, for all his knowledge of psychology and behaviour, he’s blind to his own flaws. He’s not telling you about what’s going on, because he thinks he’s protecting you. This is him wrapping you up, holding you, keeping you safe from everything. He wants to take your pain, your hurt, all of your shit away from you and take it for himself because he thinks he can shove it down inside him and not have it touch you. Because he’s inlovewith you.”

The words crashed over Aaron like a tidal wave, drowning out everything else. His breath caught in his throat, pulse hammering so hard he could feel it in his fingertips. He barely registered his legs giving out beneath him until he hit the concrete ledge, the cool stone biting into the back of his thighs.

Kenny is in love with me?

Not just lust. Obsession. The thrill of secrecy and the rush of something dangerous. Butlove. All-consuming, life-altering, world-flipping love.

Aaron squeezed his hands into fists, trying to ground himself, but his mind was a fucking hurricane.

Jack sat beside him, breaking the intense silence the revelation had left them in. “The question I need to askyou,then,is how you feel about him?”

“I’m in love with him.”

The words came out sharp, as though they’d been waiting to escape. No hesitation. No stammer. No second-guessing. And yet, the moment they were out, Aaron’s chest squeezed. Saying it was one thing. Understanding it was another entirely. Knowing how to handle it. Nurture it.Deserveit. They were the things he couldn’t grasp. Maybe that’s why it was easier to say it to Jackthan to Kenny himself. Safer. Less exposed. And somehow just saying that much opened the floodgates.

“Good.” Jack scrubbed a hand down his face. “Means I can trust you.”

“Trust me?”

“Yeah. You have the harder task here. And I really need to lean on you to do it.”

---