Page 81 of Killing Me Softly

Aaron stirred, barely lifting his head just enough to mutter, “With Coke.”

Fraser exhaled a soft chuckle, as if it was a normal night, as if Aaron hadn’t just lost another person to the shadow of his past. “Pepsi Max okay?”

Aaron fell back onto the sofa with a dramatic groan, as if that was the straw that broke his back. “No.”

“It’ll be fine.” Kenny nodded to Fraser.

“No, it fucking won’t.” Aaron dragged a hand down his face.

“I’ll nip out to the Londis.” Fraser was already stepping back. “Only a five-minute run.” He tapped his heels together as if they were Dorothy’s red shoes. What Kenny would give to havethatability. “Trainers already on.”

“You don’t have to—”

“Get a Crème Egg while you’re there?” Aaron called out.

Kenny turned to look at him, chest tightening. Even now, buried under crushing grief, guilt, and exhaustion, Aaron’s instinct had been to think of him. To reach for something that might bring Kenny even the smallest comfort. It would have been sweet if it wasn’t so heartbreaking. Because that wasn’t care for the sake of caring. It was Aaron, conditioned by a lifetime of instability, trying to prove his worth in the only way he knew how.

And that gutted Kenny far more than the loss they were grieving.

“Uh… sure.” Fraser scratched his head. “Although I think they might have stopped selling them.”

Aaron just nodded.

Kenny didn’t. Hecouldn’t.

Because that, right there, that split-second shift from craving comfort to accepting that there was none, was dangerous for Aaron. Even though it was something so very simple, it could be the moment he stopped expecting things to get better.

Fraser left, the front door clicking shut with quiet finality, and then it was just them.

Silence settled like a heavy fog, thick and suffocating, making every breath feel too loud, every shift of movement too intrusive. As if even existing in this moment required permission. Fraser brought a quiet normalcy to the situation, reminding them that life still went on, that not everything had to feel like an open wound. And Kenny understood now—understood why Jack had latched onto him, why he had fallen so completely, hopelessly, and in a way so differently from what had once been between them.

Because Fraser was uncomplicated.

He wasn’t tangled up in past wounds or unspoken trauma. Needed nothing beyond what he gave freely. He was just there. Offering comfort simply by existing.

Kenny wanted to do that. Wanted to knowhow. So he reached out, took Aaron’s hand, and forced him to look at him. When their eyes met, his heart twisted.

Aaron looked empty.

“I’m a bad omen.” Aaron turned their joined hands over, stroking through the fine hair on the back of Kenny’s hand.

“None of this is you.”

Aaron parted his lips in humourless laughter. “No? Rahul died because of me. Your mum died because of me.Taylordied because of me.”

“No.” Kenny shook his head. “They were murdered. And the only people responsible for that are their killers.”

Aaron’s throat bobbed as he swallowed, but his eyes stayed blank. “If I had helped her that day…”

Kenny knew who he meant. Knew exactly where his mind had gone.

But he wouldn’t let him drown in that.

“If you had, she would have still suffered severe consequences of her maltreatment.” Kenny kept his voice steady, analytical, tightening his grip on Aaron’s hand. Desperate to keep him here. With him. And not buried in the past that had unwittingly come loose in his head. “And it might have implicated you in that. Your mother might have turned her temper on you. Meaning you wouldn’t be here now.” He lifted their hands to his lips and kissed the back of Aaron’s. “With me.”

Aaron finally looked at him. Not past him.Athim. And Kenny could see the hesitation. The want. Thefear. Then, after an all-consuming beat, the question Kenny had been waiting for: “Do you still love me?”

Kenny’s chestached.

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