Page 91 of Tactically Acquired

“Well, you fucked that up,” Thumper sighed.

“Don’t start,” I grumbled, sitting on the front porch as I stared out into the darkness.

“Why would you start something if you weren’t going to finish it?”

I snapped my head in his direction and scowled. “What did I just say?”

“I mean, you had her in there. We all fucking heard you. It was impossible not to,” he cringed. “Thanks for that, by the way. A live porno wasn’t on my schedule for this trip. And somehow, you managed to fuck that up, too.”

“Seriously, do you understand the point of privacy?”

“Maybe I would understand if Spencer was an issue, but they’re clearly just friends.”

I sighed and rolled my head toward the sky. I was never going to get him to shut up about this.

“How do you screw it up when she’s offering?”

“It wasn’t right,” I snapped.

“In what way?”

“She’s a fucking client!”

“Only for us. The rest of us aren’t doing any fucking. Well, you aren’t either, apparently,” he joked.

I turned to face him, trying to figure out why they were all pushing on this. “Why? This is none of your goddamn business, but you’re so interested. I don’t get it. We have rules, and one of those rules is to not get involved, yet all of you are practically shoving me toward her. I don’t even fucking know her!”

“You’re attracted to her,” he argued. “Where the hell do we get a chance to meet anyone in our line of work? The grocery store?” he scoffed. “Seriously, this job makes it fucking impossible to date anyone, let alone find the person you’re supposed to be with. And with everything that’s going on?—”

He cut himself off, shaking his head with a sigh. Now I was fucking curious as hell as to what he was talking about.

“What were you going to say?”

“Just…take a chance. With all the shit going on with Cash…look at where that got him. And then there’s Kavanaugh—shotat his old man’s funeral and nearly died. He thought he found someone and lost her. Why? Because of the fucking job.”

I wasn’t entirely sure that was accurate, but it definitely played a part.

“Don’t get me wrong, I love this job. Working for OPS is great and I wouldn’t trade it for the world, but…out there, normal people are walking around living life and doing regular shit. They date, they go to the fucking movies…everything is done without a care in the world. And then there’s us. Always looking over our shoulders. Always wondering if someone’s coming for us. We can’t sit in a fucking bar without one of Lock’s seating charts,” he scoffed.

I understood what he was saying, and I respected him for looking out for me, but I couldn’t dive into something with Audrey when there was nothing between us but lust. Not just for a good fuck. It wouldn’t be fair to either of us.

“I really appreciate you looking out for my dick.”

He chuckled at that.

“Look, this isn’t about finding Mrs. Right. I won’t drag myself into those kinds of twisted feelings when I know it’s not going anywhere. That’s just not how I see her.”

“You don’t know her.”

“Exactly,” I nodded. “I’m not like you guys. I can’t just jump in. Screwing around is one thing, but if those feelings develop into something more, what happens then?”

“Then you see where it goes,” he said, turning to me curiously.

“For you, that would be great. You knew you were falling for Bree. You wanted that life with her. It was an easy choice. Yeah, I like Audrey. She’s nice. Nice is not love. And in the end, she’s got her own life. She’s an actress in Hollywood and I’m a protection agent in fucking Kansas. Even if I wanted totry to make something work, we’d never have the time to try.” I shrugged lightly. “Like I said, I’m not the type to take that leap.”

He nodded, sighing heavily. “I get it.”

“So stop pushing her at me. It’s not gonna happen.”

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