Page 116 of Tactically Acquired

“If we take you to see him, it has to be a spur-of-the-moment trip. He can’t know you’re coming.”

“I’m fine with that.”

IRIS glanced over his shoulder at me, nodding in agreement.

“Fine.”

“How long of a flight is it to California?”

“A couple of hours,” I answered as I turned back to the window. “You should try to sleep on the plane. I can’t imagine you’ll have a lot of time to lounge around when we get there.”

My gaze landed on her hand, still wrapped from the disaster the other morning. My stomach churned just thinking about how going to California could end with so much worse than just a burnt hand.

I turned away from her and forced myself to keep watch for the rest of the trip to the airport. I couldn’t focus on all the things that could go wrong. Keeping vigilant was the only way to ensure her safety, and since we were walking into the unknown, I had to shove my personal feelings aside and remember what was at stake.

When we pulled up to the small airport a half hour later, everyone was on guard. Max headed right for the plane, making sure it was fueled and ready to go while the rest of us grabbed the bags and loaded the plane.

“Rae, get Spencer and Audrey onboard.”

She shot me a funny look, clearly irritated with me ordering her around. “Isn’t that something you want to do?” she asked, shooting me a pointed look.

I had to step back. I knew if I held on too tight, I’d end up losing my shit and freaking out at the first sign of danger. Yes, I was a professional, but my heart was getting involved. I felt it for the first time when I saw her place her hand on the burner.

“Just do it,” I snapped.

She didn’t like it, but she took over, getting them over to the plane while I finished with the bags.

“Shoving her off on someone else already?” Thumper asked.

I grunted, not willing to talk about this.

“You know, when Bree was in trouble, I wouldn’t let her out of my sight.”

“What’s your point?”

“It’s just strange that you’re so willing to hand her off like that.”

I clenched my jaw in irritation. “I’m not handing her off. I’m doing my job.”

He nodded in understanding. “Right. Ensuring she’s safe because you don’t trust yourself to keep your hands off her.”

More like I didn’t trust my head. “I’m loading bags. It’s not rocket science. And we’re not in danger right now.”

“Didn’t think we were in danger when we were driving either, but that turned to shit really fast.”

“What do you want me to say?” I snarled. “Do you want me to admit that I’m fucked up over her? Do you want me to tell you that if I stand too close to her, I’m worried I might be thinking more about kissing her than watching for the next threat? That’s not the case.”

“No?”

“No. In fact, it’s the complete opposite. I know I won’t be thinking about kissing her. I’ll be so fucking worried that I’ll let her down that I won’t be able to think clearly about what I’m supposed to be doing. This isn’t about screwing with my concentration over wanting to get my dick wet. This is about separating my head from my heart.”

For just a moment, he actually seemed surprised that I admitted it. I was no coward. I was well aware of the fact that I was falling for her. Maybe not in love, but there was something building between us, and based on the way I freaked out over her hand hitting that stove, I knew I couldn’t keep my head in check. This was what needed to be done for the safety of not only her, but everyone else on the team.

“I gotcha, man. We’ll take over and make sure she’s okay.”

I nodded to him in thanks. I didn’t like it, but this was the way it had to be. So why did it feel like my chest was tightening and threatening to cave in with every second that passed?

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