Page 12 of Tactically Acquired

“One guy met the love of his life at the grocery store. The others just…kept running into them at the grocery store. That’s not the same thing.”

“But that could be you,” he said, gripping my shoulder. “Look at her.”

I glanced her way and checked her out again. She was alright. Long brown hair. Decent legs. Nice breasts. But she had this…air to her that just turned me off. She looked pissed.

“I don’t want to be eaten for breakfast.”

He snorted. “Seriously?”

I slowly turned and faced him. “Thumper, I’m approaching middle age?—”

“Whoa,” he cut in. “If you’re middle-aged, then I’m a fucking senior citizen. You’re three years younger than me, and I’m thirty-seven!”

I rolled my eyes. “Fine, I’m not that old yet. But she doesn’t do it for me.”

“You don’t even know her. You haven’t even approached her or asked her what her name is. The fact is, you know nothing about her. You’re just judging her by the expression on her face. She could be a real sweetheart.”

I cocked my head and tried to see it, but all I saw was one seriously pissed-off woman. “Maybe she needs a hug.”

“Yeah,” he cheered me on. “Maybe she’s having a pissy day and just needs someone to tell her that it’s okay.”

“I could be that guy.”

“You could definitely be that guy.”

I tossed the meat in the cart and stood up tall. I felt Thumper pat me on the back as I strode over to the woman. Now that I was closer, I could see what he did. Yeah, she still looked angry as hell, but she was beautiful. You just had to dig deep. Dig really fucking deep.

I cleared my throat and smiled at her. “Excuse me?—”

Her head snapped up and her eyes narrowed on me accusingly. “Are you fucking serious?”

My smile faded somewhat, but I could pull out of this. I was Slider. I had this. “Sorry, but I’m Slider.”

“And I’m unavailable.” She scoffed at me, looking me up and down like a disgusting roach. “Do you see me doing my shopping? I’m ignoring everyone else in here, but you thought now was the time to approach me and ask me out on a date?”

“Uh…”

“What? Because I’m alone in a grocery store, I must be single and must desire a man to come hit on me and make me not feel so fucking alone?” she shouted.

I took a step back, ready to bolt, but she just kept yelling at me.

“I don’t know what the hell is wrong with me that they can’t take a fucking hint. I don’t need a man to save me. I don’t need someone to push my cart or give me advice on what to buy. Justbecause I have a vagina doesn’t make me incapable of making a decision. And I’m pretty sure having a dick doesn’t mean that you have all the answers to the universe.”

“I just?—”

“You just came over here because you thought you were God’s gift to women and thought you would save me from my sad, pathetic life. Well, let me tell you something, mister. I don’t need saving. I don’t need some beefhead to flash his muscles for me, and I certainly don’t need a bald man to make me feel better about myself.”

Now, that was just a low blow.

“I was just going to ask if I could get a bottle of orange juice.”

Her mouth dropped open in shock, then snapped shut.

“You’re blocking the aisle,” I added, reaching across her cart and snagging the one I really didn’t want.

But you know what? She went after my bald head, and that was just something I couldn’t help. She could shove her feminist bullshit up her ass and deal with the embarrassment of yelling at a man in public over nothing. I would have just walked away if she hadn’t made it personal.

I winked at her as I got the bottle. “But I’ll be sure to tell all the other men in the store that you are most definitely unavailable and don’t need to be rescued.” I turned and walked away, but then stopped and faced her again. “Oh, and I’ll be sure that no bald men walk past you. We wouldn’t want you to think they’re only standing in the grocery store for the purpose of lifting you up.”

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